rachel - thankyou for your support and love, means so much x

fiona - great advice and thankyou for the encouragement We both realise that it is gonna be a long and rocky couple of years while we sort through all of the issues, but we also know that we are both on the same page and want the same things, that is huge, we havent been anywhere near the same page since I was pregnant!

OG - all of what you posted is exacty what I said to DH and he agreed that he knows he has continually told me what I want to hear for the past few years and can understand why I dont fully trust what he is telling me. You are right, every couple of weeks I have been back to square one with him, and it scares me, but only time will tiell this time i guess. I just cant wait for him to start his counselling cause he knows that if he doesnt attend his regular counselling we are finished, he knows I wont let him keep doing this to me over and over.

mayaness - would you be able to tell me what mistakes your mum made with regards to your Dad and counselling? Maybe your mums mistakes might help me?

It is great that DH has 12 months on a lease for his house, so we have at least 12 months before we are even gonna contemplate moving back together, and to be honest we both believe we wont fully be ready to jump head first back into the 'happy family' mode for a couple of years.

If I have learned nothing else this past 2 years, its that 'slow and steady wins the race'.