Hi Batty

Good on you for trying to keep occupied.. it does hlep to get up and about and give yourself a little task to do each day, even if its just as simple as going to the shops to buy milk!

I am astonished by your shocking lack of care and consideration by the Gp and radiologist!! That is shocking and i dont blame you for not wanting to go back to that practice!! Do you have a normally good relationship with your GP that wasnt there that day? Had you been seeing the same Dr for 15 years? Even though he hasnt answered your call- maybe just book an appt with him anyway- or if not- go and see someone else and just take all your records with you- book a double appt and hope you get someone nice- perhaps if possible make it with an Obstytrician.

The radiologist i saw first was a bit the same- the same as you- my fluid was low- (this is becuase at this stage our boys were drinking the fluid up- but due to lack of kidney were not processing the fluid back out) and he knew something was wrong- very wrong- but wouldnt tell me a single thing- but i knew it was bad- coz they sent me to a larger town about 45 mintues away for another scan with a specialist- who thankfully was very nice and kind and understanding- but that 45 minute car ride was hell- not knowing WTF was going on- but knowing that something wasnt right.

When i got to the specialist radiologist he did another scan and explained to me about his kidney- and that also his bowel had not formed properly- or his bladder. It was put to me- that he would not make full term- and that sadly surgery would not help- and then he gently explained that i would need to deliver him - but that he would not survive. I had to then go and see an OB who gave me the referal for the "termination" ( a word i HATE to use when i think of my baby) but never saw my local GP until afterwards- though he had been contacted and knew what had happened.

I am glad that your DH and BIL and SIL were understanding- your will find that there will be people who "dont think" you will be upset- or if you are that it wont last long- just make sure you let DH know how you are feeling- and while its good to start to feel better- its just important not to rush it and do it at your own pace- not because other people think you should be "over it" already. And yes- you can very much get "baby blues" and full on PND after a mid term loss- your body is in chaos right now- hormones that were rattling forward preparing for your baby have been grinded to halt all too fast. Just like your heart and mind- your body was expecting your pregnancy to keep going- and its been cut short- no doubt your milk came through- even if they gave you that tablet- you still would have gotten some discomfort- it will take a while for your body to accept that its all over and get back to normal- and that includes your hormones- which play a huge part on PND. Besides the bleeding obvious- that yes you are going to also be very upset by the fact that you lost your baby- so do watch yourself- and take it all one day at a time- there is nothing to be ashamed of if you do find you get PND, just dont be afraid to seek out help from your gp- and as you already are- from the councilor through your work.

I hope you had a good time re arranging your furniture- take care- if you want or need to chat- i have msn- or pm me any time
xoxoxo