I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time of it and that DH is not making things any easier. I don't think there is anything anyone can say to make this pain go away. I thought I was doing really well and then have had a rough couple of weeks. I went to see a psychologist earlier in the week and whilst it wasn't much help but one thing he did reinfornce was how normal all my feelings were. I guess that is something important for you to know also. It is perfectly acceptable that you are a mess at the moment and anyone who is expecting you to be holding it all together obviously has no idea. I don't mean DH, just anyone in your life who is being less than supportive.
Don't feel like you shouldn't be here either. I think everyone feels the same at one point or another because perhaps we don't fit the title of the thread exactly. I think what is most important is that you have people here who understand your pain and can offer you support. If everyone in each thread were exactly the same, we wouldn't be much help to each other so I think it is great that everyone is on a different journey and at different stages. I can't imagine you would fit in any better or worse anywhere else.
Right now, just take as good a care of yourself as you can in the circumstances and don't worry about anyone else. You can sort all that out later when you feel more able to see things from others point of view. Right now yours is the only experience that matters.
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