Ladies, thankyou all so much for your replies, I feel so much better now. I mentioned how guilty I felt to DH last night and he said that it's just a reaction that I can't help and it will go away with time. I don't know when or if it will go away but it's nice to know he doesn't think I'm selfish!!!

Sue, that's amazing that you went in to see your DH's nephew when you were at hospital after your D&C. I haven't been able to go see any babies at all.

Jo, you are such an amazing woman I can't even begin to go into the ways. I can't imagine if I had a second loss that I would be able to be as stoic and forgiving as you have been (not to say I don't realise that you're still in immeasurable pain). That's so sweet about your kids and the big baby, I guess it hit home to me that you have their feelings to take into consideration too, something I don't have to deal with, I have the luxuray of thinking only of myself.

Tildy, everything you wrote sounded very familiar... I think you expressed it better though!!!

Katie, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling 'low-key' with the pregnancy... would you believe 15 weeks in I've only told my parents and my boss?!? That I spent $110 on a bigger uniform to avoid wearing maternity uniform?! nice to know I'm not alone. Can't wait to see the pics of your bub.

And Lan, I'm so glad that you're getting excited about being pregnant again. For me, this time is just as magical as the first. For a while there in the beginning I did the predictable thing of trying not to get my hopes up just in case, but then I found this article about pragnancy after loss, and how some women try not to get too attached, and I love this quote: 'being a parent means being brave enough to open your heart to whatever may come ? joy, fear, anticipation, loss, and everything in between ? so that you are touched in ways you never imagined.' We all know that once the baby is conceived, they are a life of their own that we can't control, so you might as well try and enjoy the ride!!!

I think I felt a series of kicks today, very exciting!!

I've decided I'll send my brother and his wife a card for their M/C, but beyond that I don't feel I'm in the position to give them much more support, and it sounds like they're pretty circumspect about the whole thing anyway.

Hugs to everyone else, and thanks again for sharing, it made me feel so much better!!

Love Rozzie