Diana, you are absolutely NOT a bad mother. You just went through one of the most traumatic things any women could go through and were distressed about seeing your baby in a way that you didn't want to hold a memory of. I can relate to that. While Jasmine was 19-weeks, she was 1.5 - 2 wks underdeveloped so I was really concerned about what she would look like and didn't want that memory either. I was very lucky to have a mother that could give me good advise to see her regardless as she had lost 2 babies, one at 38 wks and one at about 22 wks and in those days that weren't allowed to see the baby at all, which is something that really effected her. Jass was very small and very red, she didn't really look like a 'normal baby' as she was so underdeveloped and not growing correctly, but she was my precious one. I didn't hold her for very long though and that is something that I do regret. I think when you go through something like that your in a completely different emotional realm and really can't think properly, that's where you expect good advise from medical staff like midwifes and you were let down badly, and I am so sorry for that hun, but please forgive yourself your a very special lady!

Theresa & Teagz, thank you for sharing your stories, they made my heartbreak. I just can't understand how things like that happen in this day and age.


Jo, I'm not really into psychics myself, but that 'twin' thing, about the boy not making it really disturbed me, maybe I read it wrong, but I didn't like that at all. Nice about your beautiful fairy girl though.

Paula, in case I don't get to post before you test, BEST of LUCK hun I am so hoping for a BFP for you and if I get one as well our little chicks will almost have the same EDD I'm guessing

Hi to everyone else.