First, I am truly humbled that I have been nominated for RAK. Thankyou to the sneaky squirrels who nominated me, it is an honour.

Bubo- sorry for the loss of your precious little one. It's so unfair and so heartbreaking. How are you doing? Were you able to give your angel a name? Go gently, and don't be afraid to put yourself first. This is a really tough journey. I know about feeling daunted, I was too. It took me ages to actually post about my experiences, and even when I just started to reply to other posts, I was nervous. I suppose its like when you go into a new group its always a little nervous a first. And on top of that you are grieving. So that you even took the step to write something, is something you should be proud of.

cmegelles - how's that blizzard going? I hope that your visit with your friend wasn't too hard. I thought I would cry too when I met the baby of my GF who was due a month before me. I didn't, but rather was actually surprised myself by being really happy to meet her baby boy, and I even held him for two hours, and now I feel like I have a special bond with him. Of course I felt sad when I left to be leaving alone. I was surprised to find that being told of his birth was much harder than I expected it to be, but meeting him, not as tough as I expected. I just hope you managed and were not too hurt. You would be a little hurt, it is after all, really sad. Enjoy the naughties. Of all the things to want, I want the naughties - coffee, red wine, soft serve ice cream. Luckily I am tough and will not cave, but enjoy your treaties, because with luck you won't be able to enjoy them next cycle! How did your presentation go? Sounds very impressive, I bet you would have been great.

gigi1 - oh bugger about the doughnuts. Glad you found them. Next time? Bugger about the speeding tickets. Oh well, you know in your heart that you don't speed very often, and its just a bugger. Hopefully not too expensive. What sort of tortelli fillings do you normally use? I haven't made tortellini yet, but have made ravs. I need some more pratice though! I love making pasta, something quite peaceful about it. I love eating pasta. Hope yours are delectable.

Beata - good to hear from you. Guess what? It's fat tuesday this week. Enjoy. I got in early today and had "wholemeal" pancakes. Yum, and trying to boost that fibre intake.

Blessedatlast - You can conquer TAFE, even if it appears hard. You can do it! You also know whether you are up for counselling or not. Thanks for telling me about how you felt after your first SANDS meeting. The group support meeting just don't seem to be for me, but individual counselling is. I actually feel really lucky to have found such a good counsellor, because I had been to two before and not felt any real or useful connection. I just felt so safe with my counsellor, and after every session an amazing sense of validation of me as a mother and as a person and of my grief and a beautiful sense of peace.

AFM - well no more scares! But I had a reality check this week. I have not been sleeping very well - waking between 1-2 and not being able to get to sleep again until between 4-6. I was going to work and a couple of days had to be away from the office all day. I was just exhausted. Even though I had been seriously contemplating giving up work, I had expected last week to be a bit of a breeze. Well it wasn't. On Thursday I made the decision to stop work and my last day is tomorrow. It's exciting, but I am nervous. It sounds weird, but if things go well, I won't be back to work for 2 1/2 years! It's also weird because I have never had a planned exit from work for pg related reasons, usually I have left work on Friday with all well, and then been in hospital the Sunday and not at work the Monday and not for a couple of months after that either. It's weird too, when I have been working all of my adult life, and to suddenly stop. But it's the right decision, so much so i actually didn't have insomnia last night. First time since I can't remember when. So I guess I will be posting more regularly, searching for companionship. I have to take it easy, but not strict bed rest.