The angry woman is back!

Thank you to everyone that posted to me. Sorry I couldn't reply yesterday or write any more details, I was just so upset.

I know that OPK are not always accurate so I am also doing maybe baby, checking CM and my temps. Well maybe baby never tells me that I am about to O, even last month when I did (eventually!!!), CM is hard - it always looks the same to me and my temps have been around the same temp all month (except the day that it dropped) but the all important rise in temps has not happened

I saw my ob yesterday and I said that I thought Clomid was supposed to help me and he said that it is. He sent me to have a BT because he said that sometimes temps can be wrong and I may have O'd. He has now referred me to a fertility specialist and while this should be a good thing I am just so upset about it. I can't believe I have to go through all of this again to fall pg. I thought that after you had a baby, this was your best chance to fall pg - your body is cleaned out and it is your most fertile time. I know that it hasn't been that long since I had Cooper but what upsets me the most is that my body isn't working properly (whatever that is!). I thought that after I had Cooper I would go back to cycles that weren't so long and that it would be easy to track. Without the help of OPK and all the other tests I just don't know when I am O'ing, if at all.

I rang up to see when I could see the FS and they told me 5 March - that is 2 weeks away!!!! I said that I urgently needed to see him so they got me in today at another office. DH is meeting me there which is good because I think I will just be a blubbering mess. I will ask for a scan today to find out what the hell is going on!!!!! We are keeping up the bding but as today is CD22 and I'm told to start on CD10 - well it is becoming a bit of a chore and my poor DH.................god only knows what he is thinking! He has been so good - I kept apologising to him yesterday because it is hard when I am the one with the problem and keep blaming myself for this whole thing, including losing Cooper. He always manages to make me smile even in the worst times. When I told him that i was seeing a FS today, he smiled and said are we going to have 6 babies!!!!! I smiled and said does it really matter now - we are only asking for one but if we get more we can't complain! Then he started looking for new cars!

Sorry for being selfish and not doing any personals. I will come back later this afternoon and let you know how I went and do personals then.

P.S. Deb I could never tell you to go away. Your advice is always so helpful - thank you