Wow - cooking and babysitting sounds like HEAPS of help to me, especially as you have your own family to take care of. Seriously please don't think any more thoughts of that not being enough.
Unfortunately some people are just more self centred than others and this person sounds very engrossed in her own experiences with little thought for your feelings etc - from all your posts you seem to be a very kind, thoughtful and caring person. It sounds really sensible to not over invest in a relationship that is so one sided (apologies if this sounds harsh but I felt quite upset for you after reading your update).