Janine- I give Lila a dummy even though I swore up and down no child of mine would have one. I think for her its the comfort thing, and she can't comfort feed from a bottle (well not really, but she does a little) and I can not can not have her on my breast. The few times she did comfort suck on my breast I sat for 3-5 hours grinding my teeth in pain. I think part of this whole parenting gig is not just doing what is 100% "the best" thing for baby, but striking a balance between good for baby/good for mummy and daddy. I mean, those balances are essential to every other relationship in life, why should this one be one sided?

BabyWrangler- My doctor was shocked I express and feed, too. Of course. Sure its time consuming, but like Nettie said I've gotten used to it, part of the routine. Would be nice not to sometimes.. Like I've had a few nights of frustration when I vowed to switch to formula, but it was the middle of the night and I had no choice but to express and feed. Then of course, everything is easier in the morning.

Sarah- That would be so hard, having DH away. You're so brave and strong. Don't know how to help you about the cuddling to sleep, I've been doing that too.

Sharon- Its ok. I saw your oldest son is 19, I was there (and a jerk) recently myself. Not trying to pry or anything, just help out a bit- is he depressed? It seems like a lot of kids in late teens/early 20's are massively depressed and don't do much with their lives because there are too many options/because of fear of failure... I was like that and so was pretty much everyone I knew. The other one I've seen a fair bit of is that things are cushy and easy at home so why would they leave? I had a friend's mother who realized she was making life too easy for her ne'er do well son so she started charging him rent and utilities and for food, and he had to do his OWN laundry etc.. Anyway know its off topic but just thought I'd put that out there...

Bah. Lila's back to never sleeping. Its like she has three days of never ever sleeping and then one day where all she does is sleep. Its hard on mum- when she's growly and needing attention I don't get any housework done, and when she's sleeping all day I greedily stay in bed getting as much sleep as possible for myself. I just don't know. I love love love my Lila but I hate parenting a baby. Except the baby smell. and the cuddles. and the little smiles. and the way she looks round for me. All of that compensates a bit i suppose.