N2L I think you expressed it perfectly.

The journey we all take to get that longed for baby does affect you and for the lucky ones who manage to get those longed for babies it will never changed. I remember when DD was born (after 1 fresh and 3 previous FET's) I still couldn't come to terms that this child was mine and was waiting for "someone" to come and take her away.

Even now looking at my 3 miracles I cannot actually believe I am their mother, and hearing the words mummy still feels strange. I think in a way we become so protective of our hearts and heads that embracing the whole experience is too scary to consider, I know I always feel like I'm still waiting for everything to be taken away from me IYKWIM.