How do you find the strength....

[Possums]

Thanks so much everyone, I have tears in my eyes reading your lovely and caring responses, and also hearing of the pain all of you have also experienced... (plus I am still pretty emotional right now...lol)

It helps me to realise that I can keep going, as you say, without actually having to be a superwoman, who feels positive and robust... lol....I can keep going forward, while also feel sad and angry, or obsessed or resentful... I can feel all those things,I see now, and still be moving forward, both in terms of healing, and towards our goal.
And you are right, I really can't contemplate not having a baby of my own.... we have been told we should set a limit of how many IVF cycles we are willing to do...but I haven't really managed to have that talk with DH because I can't consider the possibility of stopping, without having a baby.

I do marvel at the strength of all of you here and feel for those of you who have been through so much......I try to pop in and comment to others, because I know how helpful I find it, when I am in need. This place can be a lifeline when it feels like the outside world is too hard or just doesn't get it.

I am also relieved to read it's OK to be a bit hermit like...I think I need to be right now...I realise now I can pick and choose what social situations I think I can handle, and that's OK. I had felt like I needed to just go to things, to make myself get back into the world, and not to lose myself in a black hole at home etc. But I realise now, after reading your comments, taking time out for a while is OK.

Thanks again everyone.