Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

**tellytubby** · October 16th, 2011, 11:31 AM

Hi ladies I hope you're all doing well. I'm going crazy waiting for Christmas to come, I really Want to start ttc! Using this time to try and lose some weight, I want 10 kg gone before we fall pregnant.

I don't know why,, but I'm still having my down days about my last loss. It's been Almost 4 months.. I just really thought it was going to happen. Hope you are all doing well, and taking care of yourselves. Love to all x

**tellytubby** · October 18th, 2011, 10:13 PM

Hi again girls

Why can't I just let things go? As time is going on, I'm finding myself more and more upset.
I just can't get over this. I wish it never happened. The whole thing.. If I was never pregnant, I wouldn't feel this heartbreak. I would be almost in the third trimester.

I just want my baby

Xx

**Maruschke** · October 18th, 2011, 10:17 PM

I know those feelings all too well. Losing a child is incredibly upsetting and I think your feelings are understandable. I hope healing comes to you soon

**Miss.September** · October 19th, 2011, 09:02 AM

Telly. It's so difficult. One minute you think you're totally okay. Then something triggers and you're off again. We do a music class with DD on a Saturday morning. One of the mum's is pg. She's due a week after I would have been. I'm blocking my thoughts whenever I see her, pushing happier thoughts in. It's bloody hard. I'm fine with pg women. Have no issue at all. This lady though, it's just too close. That's how big my tummy would have been now.

Christmas is going to be interesting. I was due Christmas Day. With my first m/c, I was already pg with DD when the due date came around and we purposely booked in our 20 wk scan on that day. So we managed it quite well. But the thought of Christmas looming, with no baby growing in my belly...well I guess it's not something I'm enjoying right now. Hoping like mad we get lucky this month.

**tellytubby** · October 19th, 2011, 02:56 PM

Yep Pac, I know what you mean. Im in a similar situation with one of my friends, her edd is two days after mine was.. I am so happy for her but it really does still sting. What makes it worse is she often asks me to babysit her daughter while she goes for ob appointments... *sigh*
I hope you get your bfp before Christmas

it would be hard to 'forget' that edd wouldn't it? Christmas day.. Xx
I just stalked diamonds thread, so happy to hear there's a nice strong heartbeat, very, very happy for her

**Diamond Girl** · October 19th, 2011, 06:36 PM

<<Pokes head in>> Hi ladies, just popping in to let you Im thinking of you all. I know you are still hurting badly and I so wish none of us were here missing our sweet angels. Its not fair.

Im still not over my losses, not even close. I saw a heavily pg woman today and it still hurt, even though I am carrying another one. I still ask why?

I hope you are able to get your sticky BFPs soon.

**Saffy** · October 28th, 2011, 03:20 PM

Hi girls, hope everyone is going ok.

tellytubby- gosh thats hard to be babysitting while she goes to OBs appts- I would be too embarrassed to ask if I was her- you are kind to do that xx

pakrakmg- I have been dreading christmas this year, I can't bear the thought of not being pregnant either. That is really a hard one that xmas day is your EDD, big hugs to you. I hope you get lucky before then.

hi everyone else

I had some blood tests recently which may have shed some light on my miscarriages- my FS rang yesterday to tell me I tested positive to anticardiolipin antibodies, so I need to take clexane, aspirin and high dose folate next cycle. I really hope this is going to be the answer to my prayers, but feel a bit sad that I lost all my babies because of something in my body. I asked my old Fs earlier this year to test me but he wouldn't- it might have made the difference to save my last bubba. I guess we will never know and I have to look to the future. I still have a high risk of m/c due to being nearly 40 -it makes me feel a bit panicky at times, I still can't imagine being hugely pregnant- will it ever happen??

**Diamond Girl** · October 28th, 2011, 03:33 PM

Saffy, just wanted to let you know that I tested positive for anticardiolipin antibodies about four months ago. I was put on daily clexane injections and asprin at the start of this pg. After three m/cs in a row I finally have what looks like a healthy bean growing. I just wanted to tell you this because I had no hope that I would ever carry another baby again, but this treatment seems to be working. I hope and pray you have the same results.

I regret too that I didnt push testing more after my second m/c and it still upsets me that my body failed my little ones too.

**Freya** · October 28th, 2011, 03:51 PM

Saffy, Ive been where you are as well after testing being done! When I finally had a world renown miscarriage specialist tell me why Ive had 5 miscarriages and that Im lucky to even have had 3 successful pregnancies I felt like such a failure. Its easier to think it was out of your hands than the fact it was your own body sabotaging your efforts. Doomed before they even started.

I will be on a clexane and asprin regime when we get pregnant again (but I have antiphospholipid syndrome) and I am trying to be confident that it will be the right fix for a term, healthy pregnancy! Its hard to stay positive though (although DG I am so happy to hear your doing well!!!! Gives me alot of hope!)

**Freya** · October 28th, 2011, 04:04 PM

I want updates from everyone! How are we all going?

How are our babies-in-waiting going?
How are our TTCers feeling?

Is anyone else playing the waiting-to-ttc game with me? Was it you Pak?

As for me, well I had a panic moment a few weeks back and actually told DH I didnt want anymore children. Im just so tired, physically and mentally these days (although I guess our situation influences that) and I just didnt feel I had anymore fight in me to ride the pregnancy merry-go-round again. I see newborn babies and my heart melts and breaks at the same time. He was really upset because I worked so hard convincing him to be cool with another baby (and he keeps mentioning "well and maybe one more" after that!) and then I go and yank it out from under him. But I worked through it, with the help of a couple of friends new babies, Im clucky but scared, which I suppose is normal. We'll definately go one more but if we have another miscarriage I am done. So Dh is home very soon and should be in time for the start of my cycle sooooooo we'll be TTC a little European souvenier

**Miss.September** · October 28th, 2011, 04:22 PM

We're TTC I thought last month may have been a success, even though I knew it wasn't possible, I allowed myself to hope and get excited only for AF to turn up and shake her fist at me.

I'm feeling excited and anxious. More anxious, me thinks. In a blink of an eye it can all be over. All the hope and dreams. And yet it can go so right too. I'm being positive. I'm going for a walk, eating well and the moment that bit of self pity and sadness creeps in, I find something to do. So I have very clean walls, a nicely pruned front garden and clean light fittings in my kitchen

Telly - How are you going beautiful?

DG - I'm so happy for you. Loved reading your other thread, you must be so relieved.

Saffy - Got my fingers crossed for you that now you have some answers, you'll have a bubba soon!

Freya - Not long to go now! I think things get harder the closer it gets. DH must be excited too! Hope you get your BFP during your travels!

Maruschke - How are you going hun?

Hi to anyone that I've missed. Hope you're all okay

**Freya** · October 28th, 2011, 04:57 PM

DH is beyond excited. Its all he talks about, which is actually really annoying because for me; yeah I am excited and I get butterflies when I think about picking him up at the airport but Im also so nervous because 8mths is a long time to be alone, raising the kids and running the life that suits us. Im also in a bit of a holding pattern, I know its coming and its not far away but it just doesnt seem 'real' if that makes sense? We've got tons happening between now and then; halloween parties and birthdays and to start getting the christmas stuff organised, packing for Europe. Hopefully it makes time fly but right now its draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagging on.

**Cocolove** · October 28th, 2011, 05:26 PM

Hi guys
Ive just lost my baby at 5wks & 3 days pregnant!
All i want to do is start TTC straight away, is that stupid?

**Maruschke** · October 28th, 2011, 05:41 PM

Hi guys
Ive just lost my baby at 5wks & 3 days pregnant!
All i want to do is start TTC straight away, is that stupid?

No, not silly at all

**Cocolove** · October 28th, 2011, 05:48 PM

No, not silly at all

I just dont want people to think i dont care about this baby because i do, i loved this baby and if i could get this baby back I would but i cant.
So hopefully his/her spirit will return and grant me a healthy bundle>

This wasnt meant to happen! One of my best friends lost her baby too and we were due on the same day, what are the odds of that

Just so devestated

**Maruschke** · October 28th, 2011, 05:53 PM

Yes it is so devastating

Be easy on yourself. Losing your child has made you realise how much you love and value children and want another. You are motivated by LOVE not by anything else.

**chepie** · October 30th, 2011, 06:35 AM

Hi ya ladies,

Hope everyone is okay this Sunday morning..

Threetimesblessed - I am sorry you find yourself here, hope you are okay oxoxo the wanting/needing to ttc is so overwhelming isn't it ..GL babe

Freya - Exciting times for you babe xoxo Wow Europe, where abouts are you going?

Maruschke - How are you going hun?

Saffy - Wow! At least you have some answers and can move forward xoxo

Telly - how are you travelling gorgeous lady?

PacRakMG - sorry that witch arrived, I hate it when you think you yes yes yes yes I have all the symptoms surely I gotta be... hugs babe!! Maybe I should take your lead and distract myself too!!!

AFM - well this month I used OPK's and got a very strong positive and now have been obsessing over every single tiny detail and I am in fact losing the plot again. I am angry at myself because I did this last month.. It just takes over my life and I am forever POAS!!! I think I am due sometime this week, who knows with my cycles now.... I almost feel like giving up because it just takes over my LIFE and I don't like the person I become... Sorry for the rant

love you all oxoxo

**Notcompltemummy** · November 4th, 2011, 11:41 AM

Hi I am new 2 this but feel I need 2 talk ATM. I am currently going through my second misscariage ATM and feel quiet alone. I am married with 2 beautiful children who are nearly 4 and 1!? I conceived triplets while my son was 3 months old mind u I was breast feeding and on the mini pill with no multiples on either side of our families. I had 2 babies in my uterus and a third in my Fallopian tube which I lost as a result 2 the ectopic pregnancy I misscarried the 2 in my uterus at 7 weeks and lost the third baby in my tube at 9 weeks. All this made my husband and myself realize we were ready 4 another bub which last week I was delighted 2 find out was on its way only 2 be told later the same day my levels were 2 low and the pregnancy would most likely result in misscariage which it has but the awful part is u still feel pregnabt and have all the symptoms of a pregnancy. I just need 2 no their is hope 2 carry another bub right through u just don't understand after 2 normal pregnancys why all this us happening I have lost 4 babies in a mater of months and feel do empty and desperate 2 be pregnant again. Thank you 4 listening.