Yes, we find out every time but only tell people if they ask. Some people don't want to know so we double check...and because these things aren't 100% we try to avoid talking in gender specific terms all the time.

I always find it a bit annoying when people say "we know the sex but we aren't telling" - for me, it always seems to come across as a bit "I've a got a secret and I'm not telling you", I would much rather be told a white lie and have them say they don't know.

The one thing that is non-negotiable for us is talking about names. We don't announce the names after the baby is born because then everyone says "oh that's nice" no matter what. Beforehand, people always seem to think they can say "oh I don't like that" so we don't even discuss shortlisted names, because we like to get a look at the baby and be sure of the name before we make it public.

If you do decided to tell, don't worry about your friend, you can just explain that you hadn't decided yet if you were going to tell people...that's easily explained and very understandable.