Katiegirl - I think we have the same friends. Most pople are very well intentioned and are doing the best they can. And truly I hope none of friends ever do understand what we are going through becasue I wuldn't wish this on my worst enemy. If you need her to back off a bit i am sure she will understned.

Ellie - I know what you mean about the holidays. I am the last person in my extended family to have kids. My cousin's 4 month old DD was in for her first xmas and everyone doted on her. hope you are doing better and good luck with the move.

As for me I went out with some old high school frinds yesterday. My best friends from high school are twin boys that I used to do everything with. i don't see them much now since one lives 12 hours away qand the other in London. It was nice. Its like being time warped back to a simpler time. When I was alone with one of them (the one I didn't see for thanksgiving and wasn't able to tell personally about my loss) he just put his arm around me and told me how sorry he was for my loss and hugged me. Then we went on with out evening. It was so nice to feel normal even for a short period of time.

barbara