Co-sleeping is such a lovely idea, isn’t it?
Right up until about 3am, that is, when you’re rudely awakened by a swift foot to the mouth.
Or an elbow to the nose. Or whatever the heck other body part ends up in your space – or your face.
A co-sleeping family is essentially a tangled yarn of body parts, and parents wake up exhausted after another night of being kicked, bumped and poked.
Interestingly, those responsible for all the action seem to sleep just fine. Apparently, indulging in late night acrobatics has no impact whatsoever on your child’s REM cycles.
No matter how big your bed is, it’s probably not big enough to co-sleep in. And even if it was last week, somehow your kids will grow overnight and you’ll end up wondering how on earth you’re supposed to sleep balancing on the very edge of the bed.
Co-sleeping families come up with all kinds of crazy sleep positions to try to make sure the whole family manages some shuteye.
Some families end up split between different bedrooms – dad in one room with the toddler, and mama in another with the baby.
Others try to cram into one bed – fitted together like a tetris puzzle of elbows and armpits and hefty toddler cankles.
And some end up in a bedroom carpeted with mattresses of various sizes, in an attempt to create a family-sized sleeping arrangement.
Well, the struggle is officially over. The co-sleeping mattress of your dreams (not that you have many, because you have to sleep before you can dream) is finally a reality.
It’s huge. And you need it. It doesn’t matter whether you’re sharing your bed with a little baby, a wriggly toddler, a gangly five-year-old or fifteen cats – you need this bed!
It’s 12 feet wide. Yes, you read that right. No, it’s not a typo. Twelve whole feet of space for you to snuggle up on.
Two Ryan Goslings could top-and-tail and still fit on this bed. If that’s what you want, that is. Or you could fit your whole family in it instead – whichever works best for you.
Twelve feet of luxurious space for you to stretch out in. Your entire family could sleep in the fetal position and there would still be plenty of room for Ryan Gosling to perch on the edge and read you all a bedtime story (he probably does that; call his agent).
It’s not cheap, but is true happiness ever really affordable?
The amazing family-sized bed from Ace Size will set you back over $2,000.
And, of course, you’ll need a pretty big bedroom even to consider it in the first place.
But it’s probably worth moving house for, right?