To find out baby’s sex or not to find out? Some pregnant women and their partners can’t decide!
One thing that is for sure: from the moment you announce your pregnancy, people will be asking whether you are going to find out the sex of your baby.
As the 20 week scan approaches, you might find yourself in two minds as to whether to find out or not. There are plenty of arguments made for finding out the sex, but here are a few reasons why you parents decide not to find out:
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #1: It Will Be A Surprise
In this day and age, with text messaging, smart phones, online chat, the internet, and 24 hour news, surprises are pretty rare. Everything is competing for our attention and it constantly feels like information overload!
Most of the time, we either know about something before it happens, or find out straight after. Your baby’s sex is one of the rare surprises left in life, so why not treasure it and let the anticipation build before finding out at the birth?
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #2: Its Not The Real Purpose Of The 20 Week Ultrasound
Ultrasounds are used to check that your baby is developing well. The sonographer will take measurements and check all of your baby’s organs. The 20 week scan can take a long time, as each check is performed.
Most parents-to-be focus instead on finding out the gender, forgetting the real reasons behind the ultrasound scan. Sometimes, the baby’s sex can be too hard to tell anyway, for example if the baby is in a tricky position.
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #3: Something To Push For
Childbirth is a pretty tiring experience, and anything that might help you scrape together that last ounce of energy for that final push will be much appreciated.
Some women claim that not knowing the sex of their baby encouraged them to push harder, because they were excited to finally find out the sex of their baby.
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #4: “It’s A Girl!!!”
If you wait until the birth to discover the sex of your baby, you will get to live that Hollywood “It’s a girl!” moment when your new baby is placed into your arms.
Finding out at a scan is exciting, but finding out at the birth is something else entirely.
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #5: Reduces Gender Disappointment
If you feel very strongly that you would prefer to have a child of a certain gender, finding out your baby’s sex in advance may increase your risk of suffering from gender disappointment.
With a lovely little baby in your arms, it’s much harder to feel disappointed about anything.
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #6: You Can Avoid Gender Stereotyping
No-one could possibly know the gender of your baby during pregnancy – all you can find out is the sex. Once you announce the sex of your unborn baby, you will be inundated with gender-specific parties.
You will have a wardrobe filled with a year’s worth of pink or blue outfits before you’ve even stepped foot in the birth room. You have the rest of her life to avoid gender stereotyping, why force yourself to start earlier than you have to?
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #7: They Can Get It Wrong
Ultrasound scans are not a 100% accurate way to determine the sex of a baby. During the ultrasound scan, the technician will warn you that they can not say with 100% certainty either way.
There are plenty of stories of surprised parents in the birth room, who have gone crazy buying lots of frilly dresses, painted a pink nursery, and picked out a name for a baby who turns out to be a boy. Avoid this risk by waiting until birth to find out the sex of your baby.
Reasons Not To Find Out The Sex Of Your Baby #8: You Don’t Have To Put Up With Insensitive Gender Comments During Pregnancy
If you don’t know what the sex of your baby is, you get to skip 20 odd weeks of random, insensitive comments from strangers and others, relating to your baby’s sex. For example:
“Wow, you’re having another boy! I bet you really wanted a girl!”
“So, are you going to try for a boy after this one then?”
While it likely wont prevent all of them, it will reduce the amount of annoying comments a great deal from people who don’t matter, especially when your hormones are raging and you’re biting your tongue from telling them where to go.
Did You Find Out Your Baby’s Sex Or Did You Wait?
Share your stories with us in the comments section below!
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I’m in the United States and came across this forum. I received a call from my doctor and he left a voicemail yday telling me that my blood work and everything came back normal which is a relief however he stated I do know the gender of the baby but wasn’t sure if you guys wanted to know or not so if you don’t want to know, hang up now….long pause in the voicemail and I just thought he was messing with me and he ended saying the gender! I’m like who does that? I was really upset as my husband and I specifically did not want to know at all. I could have not listened to the rest of the voicemail but knowing that my phone holds the gender of my child, how would I not check it let’s say 3, 4 months down the road? As a human being it’s a natural tendency but I was adamant not knowing. I still can’t get over it and couldn’t even sleep just thinking about it. any friendly comments could help me right now. I’m only 13 weeks and my husband doesn’t want to believe it until the day of delivery.
All three of my children were surprises. It was the best thing to hear my husband tell me what our baby was. And it truly is one of the last great surprises left in the world. Plus, if you have a shower before the baby is born, you receive items you need. Women can’t help themselves. Their ovaries explode when they walk by the baby clothes and if they know what you are having they will buy an outfit. I am grateful either way, but I need diapers more than a baby sized tuxedo.
My son is now 2 yrs old and I did not find out what I was having…it was the best surprise EVER!!!! I try to persuade everyone I know that gets pregnant to not find out but no one listens. Every time I ask someone why they want to find out it’s the same reason, to buy stuff…materialistic things that can wait! I chose not to find out because like #1 states, there are not many things you can truly be surprised with these days except this. The element of surprise makes it all worth it!!!
I have my 20 week scan tomorrow. Baby number 1 and so very excited!!
From discovering we were pregnant my other half was adamant that he wanted to find out – I can see pro’s and con’s to both however have decided that I don’t want to.. I LOVE surprises and knowing that I have another 20 weeks before I find out if I’ll have a son or daughter feels amazing.
I’m hoping the sonographer will tell the other half tomorrow in private, or will write it down for him. Failing that we’ll book in for a private scan for him to be able to find out.
Has anyone else done this? All friends and family think we’re mad and everyone else is itching to know if we’re having a boy or girl but I’m really not bothered and more excited to be told when baby arrives.
I’m looking forward to not knowing until the day, and when Dad tells me with leaky eyes who we have made.
I also like the idea of not having all pink or all blue so for your next baby you can re-use all the gender neutral clothes. Also, like other people have said, I know if I knew the sex I would bankrupt myself buying all sorts of things I didn’t need before baby arrived!
I didn’t know they could get the sex wrong on a scan so another good reason not to know!!
So me and my boyfriend are expecting baby number two! We’re so excited but I don’t want to find out the gender until he or she is born. He on the other hand thinks he cannot possibly wait. Lol. But with my first one we found out at 15 weeks it was a girl! And from that moment on I was getting everything ready, how can you get everything ready when you don’t know what your having?!
This is pregnancy number 14…and hopefully my 7th to make it. Every ultrasound is fear of whether there is a heartbeat. My kids have a gender preference and so does my husband. I feel so much pressure to have a specific Gender but more importantly pressure that this sweet baby makes it. I’m terrified of having the 20 week ultrasound. It’s true, ignorance is bliss. It was sad to see so many women tearing each other down for how they feel. To each their own! !!
I found out with my first I was so excited because I didn’t have a preference anyway and i loved imagining my little boy it made it feel more real but im 27weeks with my second and im not finding out this timw. I really wanted to have that experience of my partner handing me our baby and telling me what sex. I feel like its dragging on and im more excited for labour rather than terrified of it.
I feel quite convinced this time not to find out. I found out w my firat son, andthe second. And while not everyone goes thru the “other more important reasons” formthe 20wk appointment, indealt with thjose reasons twice. I had one son die on me in the womb at 27 some weeks, related to thnose isses. And i REALLY want a girl, my husband and I both, he has one bnoy and we have bis first bnorn boy together, plus our deceased. . so in many ways, ive thought ab waiting til birth. Honestly, putting myself in the shoes of the description, “when he lays the baby on your belly and says, weve got a …” I feel very excited to do thaty. Unfortunately ill most likepy be another c sectoon. If not, yay all the way around!
But, i definitely wantd to doma shower if this is a girl, as she has no clothes. The nig stuff will be reused.
This is my fourth pregnancy and the first one with my current husband. I have three boys with my ex that we knew they were boys at the 20 week scan and my husband now has one son that him and his ex found out ahead of time. That’s four boys ages 16, 14, 12 and 9. It was nice to know but I am truly thinking that this time should be a surprise. It would make it something different for both of us. The problem is just that I don’t know if I can wait. Lol
We’re waiting and we have a loong road, lol!! Cant wait to meet my fetus/baby
Is it rude to wish that when family and friends find out the gender of their bubs they asked if people wanted to know what they’re having before telling everyone what they’re having?
My SIL has had two elective Caesarean sections so, we knew bubs’ due date, time, gender, names… We were over the moon for them but it wasn’t a day where we felt we needed to drop everything with excitement and go shopping for bubs, go visit will excitement levels at a maximum etc.
It was still very special but it took the excitement out of it for us and my PIL, who 100% wanted a surprise but we’re told before they got the option.
Hello everyone!
I hope all of you who already had your babies, had a nice labor and to all of those (like me) who still have some waiting to do, PATIENCE!!! 😀
Personally, me and my man decided not to know, from the beginning, because all we wanted was to have a baby. And that’s what we’re having!!! A BABY!!! hehehe the scan woman was surprised when she asked if we “of course wanted to know the baby’s sex?” and we replied loud and decided “NO, we don’t want to know, thanks :)” .
Well, of course he wanted a boy and I wanted a girl from the beginning, but actually it doesn’t matter to me anymore, I just can’t wait to hold him/her in my arms and begin a life of love in a way I’ve never experienced before 🙂 <3 so excited!!!
I do agree with the article when it says about the insta-gratification :/ WHY? Surprises are fun too!
Cheers!
I have my 20 week scan on Friday and can’t wait to find out. I want to be organised and feel like I will have a stronger bond if I can call a baby he or she and not it or baby. I can’t understand the theory of pushing harder because you don’t know the sex, surely you’re excited to meet your baby not find out its gender, but everyone’s different people should do what they feel is right for them and their partner.
No we didn’t find out the sex of our babies. I did have a gut feeling with all three of them though. And I was right every time.
I loved the surprise of being right every time. This Momma knows her babies. <3
What did u have?
I was expecting another boy since I already have two boys whom I love very much. To my surprise we found out as early as 14 weeks we are having a girl. We are excited and nervous as this is the second girl in the family in 12 years. We cannot wait for her arrival in February, 2016.
Feb 2016 is coming closer
Congratulations
I’ve to wait till the end of may
My husband and I do not have children but we are talking about trying within the next year. We would start sooner, but we were recently told that his mother only has two months to live and we don’t want her to think about us being pregnant and her never getting to meet her grandbaby. My husband had said since we first got together that he would want to wait to find out the sex of the baby, an idea that absolutely horrified me. However, now that we are seriously discussing have a baby, the idea does have more appeal. As Aniko mentioned, the thought of my husband being the one to tell me what it is, as he holds our precious child is so sweet. Let’s see if I actually stick to that thought when the time comes though, I am a very impatient person who likes to have everything planned out lol
My husband and I didn’t find out the sex of our first baby, after going through 47 hours of labour the ‘not knowing’ is what kept me going.. I asked the midwife not to shout out the sex, as I wanted my husband to be the one to tell me. My heart melted whilst my husband cried when he saw we had son.. What we wanted – to carry on his family name! I will remember that moment forever and will do the same with this baby (my 2nd pregnancy) As for hearing people finding out the sex to get over any gender disappointment?! Shocking!!! You should be happy with your healthy baby what ever the sex! 3 people close to me have lost babies in the 3rd trimester, the least of your worries should be gender disappointment!
This is the dumbest list I have ever read.
We didn’t find out for the first, it was awesome, I really wanted a boy and we got a girl, such a fun surprise. Second baby we found out together in the ultra sound, it was fun to find out, but the feeling wore off quickly, and gave me an ability to shop unnecessarily. So based on the two experiences, for this third pregnancy I believe not finding out is better, because I realize that I really don’t care, I just want healthy, and the delivery room is the most memorable time to find out, enjoy the whole experience. It drives people nuts when you don’t know too. And you get a lot of respect from older people who agree that there are very few really surprises left these days. I doubt I could ever have gender disappointment, even if this turns out to be our 3rd girl, I love the people we make!
I have four children and never found out the sex so if would be a surprise at birth. We were happy with either each time and them being healthy was a priority. I had two boys first and when I was pregnant with my 3rd people would ask if we were going back for a girl and my husbands reply was no we’re going back for 4!
I’m 34 wks with my third and haven’t found out with any. I’ve had 4 or 5 scans but have made it clear to the consultant that I didn’t want to see anything! I have 2 boys already but really and truly don’t mind what this one is – it’ll be the last either way and I’m just excited to meet my little bundle of loveliness! Thankfully my husband feels the same way and it’s an incredible feeling to have your baby put on your chest and the midwife say it’s a …….boy/girl.!!
4 boys later, never found out with any of them! Best surprise in the world
We waited. I just knew I was having a boy. Then, at 3 months someone said your baby is a girl and it hit me that I very well could be carrying a girl. I cried. I cried because I thought how hard it would be to raise a girl. 6 months and 45 + hours of labor a little girl was born and I absolutely love her. Waiting was the best decision. I had been up for 2 days trying to have her and I stayed up one more just ooing and ahhing over my beautiful baby girl!!!
Decided together that we wanted to wait. My husband wants a boy, as any dad usually does, and I just wanted to be a mom, period. I have had a great pregnancy and felt so good and I feel it will not change a thing in my anticipation to finally be a mom like I have always wanted to be if I were to find out the sex. Boy or girl, I’m blessed to even be preggers!!! Waiting is just keeping my husband and I more happy to be first time parents and focused on our parenting skills and improving our relationship rather than focused on materials, clothes, or how to piant the nursery. Most people I know like to find out and I love to know what others are having ahead of time, but for me I just felt it would be an exciting first time experience to Waite for the big reveal because no matter what, I’m gonna love that little one and the joy it brings when I get to meet him/her for the first time! So excited to be a mom! I read this article because I’m looking for positives in my division even though it won’t change my mind. I just like to hear others stories and what I have to look forward to with my disicion to wait!!
– Excited mommy to be!
We didn’t find out for our first. I didn’t mind either way really but preferred a girl, but that amazing, amazing moment when my son came into the world and time stood still I wanted nothing else! No ‘gender disappointment’ at all!! All I wanted was to hold my baby boy. There is something so amazing about seeing everything about your baby the moment they are born. Wouldn’t change it for the world. The only reason I would even do an U/S is to make sure they are ok. Didn’t feel him move for close to 22weeks which was worrying but he was fine. Due with no.2 n Feb 2016 and I’m waiting for another amazing life changing surprise again
During my first pregnancy, I was sick constantly, therefore enduring multiple ultrasounds, including 3D. We were having a baby girl! Dad went and got “Emma” tattooed on his arm, pink and purple everything baby shower…the silence in the delivery room was epic when it was announced, “it’s a boy”! All I could think about was our baby went to the nursery as “baby L”, and the cute little pink outfit with matching headband and booties…my son Aiden dislikes this story, but it still makes me laugh. 3 months along currently; have no intention of “finding out” this time 🙂
Haha, that happened to a friend of mine and two boys and no girls later…hope there wasn’t any gender disappointment! Really tho, once you see YOUR baby, it doesn’t really matter does it?
33 weeks and we are waiting (anxiously):)
We didn’t find out with all 3 of our children. Even when our last was a “surprise” we already had 2 boys and to us it didn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl just a healthy baby. So my daughter came into this world with a bedroom painted for a boy (I figured the odds were greater in having another boy) Lol no big deal we painted it purple. The beauty to me is that in this I need to know now world it was something that I could wait for. So much excitement with everyone guessing the gender of the baby. It’s not for everyone but for me I wouldn’t do it another way.
Found out the sex of my first 2 kids girls,but with the hope of having a boy with the third pregnancy I couldn’t find out the gender until 29weeks,but finally a boy!!!! It was an exciting moment. Now 13wks with the fourth and hoping a boy. Myself,my husband and my boy 4yrs is really wishing and hoping for a boy. He blivs he needs a baby brother to share things with just like the two girls..Lol….but its really a blessing to be a mother.
I found out the sex of my daughter but only because I was estimated anywhere between 26-30 weeks when I found out I was pregnant. There were people holding onto clothes for me but needed to get rid of them soon as Christmas was a couple weeks away. Also there didn’t seem to be many unisex clothes and I wanted to get clothes in the January sales with not having much time to prepare
I disagree with the majority of points in this article. It makes a lot of assumptions that just aren’t correct. Firstly I hate surprises. Some people like them. Some don’t. I don’t assume that all people think like me though. Finding out the gender of my child makes a huge difference to my ability to bond with my baby before they’re born. Finding out enriches the whole experience for me. I have no idea how you get ‘gender disappointment’ more so by finding out before. I think it’s the other way around. Finding out before gives you time to adjust IF you’re disappointed instead of letting the disappointment ruin the moment you meet your child face to face. And I have no desire to have a Hollywood moment of ‘it’s a girl/boy’. But I understand why that would be appealing to some. Sounds like the article was written by someone who assumes everyone thinks the same way they do. Each to their own.
I had no less than 28 ultrasounds with my twins (there were problems after 24 weeks) and never found out their sexes! We did IVF after 8 years of struggling with male factor infertility so we never even got the “OMG I’m pregnant” surprise or the “OMG it’s twins” surprise since we transferred 2 embryos and knew it was a possibility. That was the only thing left for us to have as a surprise and hubby was also the one to announce each baby. That was a special private thing that we got to keep just for us and it was so awesome to have him tell me we had a boy and a girl.
I’m almost 36 weeks with our second baby, We chose to find out with my 6 year old girl and are waiting until I deliver for this second little peanut! I can relate to first time moms that had to know because I think it gives you something to plan for as a first time parent. I really really wanted a girl with my first so I didn’t experience any gender disappointment. Although I have to say that not knowing the gender of this baby has really been a totally different experience! My husband and I have just taken it day by day and I get so emotional just thinking of when they place our little baby in our arms and we find out then!! I have to say that having found out with my first I think it was awkward to find out through the sono tech. You’re all excited but its almost like ok 15 min are up! With this pregnancy we have focused on investing on great gender neutral baby gear that we can use again! People freak out and ask you ” BUT how will you paint the room?!?!” and really I think that’s the last of my worries. Personally I think it is a great option for people who think they will be disappointed in having a second boy or third girl. There is no way you could experience disappointment as they are placing that baby in your arms! 🙂 For those of you who don’t think you could make it, it’s not that hard! Trust me because I said no to finding out at 12 weeks but still wanted to keep my options open for our 20 week sono, and by 20 weeks I felt a rush in not knowing! This pregnancy has flown by too! Maybe ill post an update in a few weeks and let you all know what I think after delivery! 🙂
I found out with my eldest 3, my 3rd baby Is a Boy but at the 20wk ultrasound they told me he was a girl! Went for a private scan at 31 weeks the sonographer said he wasn’t a girl he was a boy put me off finding out with my 4th and I don’t think I will find out with this one although I am tempted. I don’t regret finding out the sex of the others I was able to buy gender specific stuff which I loved rather than white lol
I am pregnant with my first, I really really want to know!! My mum told me not because its such an exciting thing like waiting for Christmas an its only a few months not knowing, I am very inpatient and I honestly don’t mind if I have a boy or girl since this baby is mine, its more about preparing I have seen boy an girl things I love but I can’t buy yet 🙁 lol..
And another point I forgot to point out…we all know that the scan’s purpose isn’t to find out the sex and personally I never asked to find out, the tech asked me at the very end AFTER knowing that the baby was healthy and growing as it should…that was for both of my kids..I don’t really like that this article makes finding out the sex of your baby a negative thing…may make some new moms feel guilty for finding out. Not something new moms need to feel.
Totally agree. Not a great read.
This article is fairly neutral and just pointed out the advantages of not knowing the sex. I think you are being overly defensive about your decision and have been posting judgemental replies to many posters who said not knowing was what worked positively for them.
Maybe not all moms will feel guilty? Who knows? I think this article is not forcing anyone not to find out about their babies sex, just giving reasons why it’d be good not to find out. It could help those in doubt.
To each their own.
As several have pointed out, you’re entitled to your opinion. Personally, I really like the article. I’m due this week, we don’t know gender. It’s definitely been beneficial because I hate pink and we’ve been able to avoid all the unsolicited pink gifts. Also, I don’t really want to discuss my pregnancy with people who really don’t give a damn about me, but just want to talk about themselves. IMO, feeling guilty is a choice and it doesn’t sound like most of those posting on this thread feel the slightest bit guilty about finding out.
I found out the sex of both of my kids….and I’m happy I did. I loved knowing I was having a girl (my first) as I got the bedding I saw perfect for a little girl. And the sdame for my son…my aunt found the perfect bedding for him. I wasn’t disappointed for either of them. And I pushed them out just as hard as I would have if I didn’t know the sex. No offense but I think that these 8 “reasons” for not finind out at the scan is a bit out there…exposing babies to gender stereotyping? come on! That’s whole point of knowing if you’re having a girl or a boy! You can prepare their room and their clothes…that’s part of the fun in preparing for the baby! Anyway, that’s my personal opinion on the subject.
We were surprised with our first baby and found out with our last one and with this current pregnancy. Having done it both ways, I can say with certainty it is exciting and wonderful finding out at your ultrasound or in the delivery. Neither is better. Just different 🙂
almost 34 weeks pregnant n pretty sure that i want the gender of my baby to be a surprise.initially my partner made an invitation to check the gender and was not too keen.i am happy.i enjoy(ed) buying unisex baby grows and other cute baby clothes.cant wait to meet my baby.
Found out the sex of all 5 of my children. I did it because I wanted to know.
We did find out the sex of our baby. I don’t like surprises. Also my other 2 children wanted to know. They were so excited to be a part of the ultrasound. I also found out with my other two, who are 17 & 12yrs.
this is a ridiculous post. How about we let people decide what they would like to know about their baby instead of pointing out all the reasons why they shouldn’t? Worry about what you want to do with your baby/pregnancy and let others worry about theirs.
Personally, I am struggling with the decision. Ultimately I know it is up to my husband and I but it’s nice to have articles like this to read to think of different reasons we may not have thought of. I don’t think it was written to make anyone feel like their decision wasn’t the right one. It’s whatever is right for you 🙂
Me and my husband found out in February that we r having a boy u can see it in the ultrasound also its amazing he’s due in 57 days
What a load of biased nonsense. My wife was a high risk pregnancy and well aware of the medical reasons for the scans. Finding out that we were having a little girl at the 20 week scan replaced the stress of the scan with joy. It was still a surprise, just a little earlier.
I definitely hear you on that one. For my first I was high risk and being able to find out she was a girl brought positivity to the scan. :)With all of the stresses and tests and scans you go through it was a breath of fresh air to find out something so wonderful…on top of finding out that she was healthy in there LOL
Yes. I waited with my first. After a long pregnancy and truly only hoping for a healthy baby, I didn’t care if it were a boy or a girl. For my second pregnancy, I wish to wait as well. I really want a girl, but again, I’d rather have a healthy boy than an unhealthy girl, so it really doesn’t matter to find out early what the gender is. Just keep me informed of my baby’s healthy status Doc.
I found out as I had no choice – she was there,clear as day on the scan legs akimbo showing the world all that she had and there was no mistaking her for a boy. Didn’t even have to ask the nurse.
lol That happened to me on my second pregnancy. On my first one I told the ultrasound technician not to tell me and he was surprised. The first one happened to be a girl. And my last one the technician said he couldn’t figure out the baby gender but it didn’t bother me. I was hopping for another girl though but it was a handsome boy. So I ended up with a girl and two boys.
My girl did the same thing she never wanted to show her face but we always knew we weren’t having a boy! I think she must have heard everyone telling me I would have a boy in the early weeks lol I love my happy healthy 4 month old more than anything and I can’t imagine my life without her!! I did want to know if I was having a boy or girl just because it was my first child and I wanted to be as prepared as possible lol haha
We did not find out with all 3 of my kids. It is THE BEST thing ever to wait. I promise. My kids are 18, 17 & 1 (yes one) NOTHING better than waiting. And you can never “prepare” for a baby with color.
How can you promise it is the BEST thing if you’ve never done it the other way? Perhaps just the best thing for you. I’ve been surprised and I’ve found out. Both are wonderful experiences.
I’m sorry, but you can’t judge both experiences as you’ve never experiences both. Finding out for both of my kids was an amazing experience. Don’t judge what you don’t know.
Again, relax ladies,
She is saying it’s the best thing for her. I found out and it was wonderful but obviously for Kate it was an awesome experience by knowing. Take it easy
Why all the rude comments judging people who say waiting was the best decision. They are obviously saying it was the best decision for THEM.
We did not find out with all 3 of my kids. It is THE BEST thing ever to wait. I promise. My kids are 18, 17 & 1 (yes one) NOTHING better than waiting.
I’m 31 weeks and we did find out the gender very early (around 11 weeks). I feel very motivated for labor because I want to meet my tiny person and see what this little man looks like who has been kicking me and moving around! I have been very surprised at all the gender specific comments. People need to keep it to “that’s wonderful” and “congratulations” and not project their feelings about gender on a pregnant woman.
We found out but totally to appease my own curiousity. I kept having dreams about a boy, and I wanted to see if my subconscious was all that keyed in—and it was [I guess? haha whatever right?], we had a baby boy. We didn’t tell a whole lot of people though, but it does get around cos people can’t keep their mouths shut XD
I have been having dreams about a girl and I also dreamt her name. I’m also dreaming that I go to early and that scares me
I’m at week 21 and my husband and I have decided to not find out. Of course, I’d love to know b/c I’m a planner, but this is truly one of the best surprises one could ever get. BTW, I’m fairly certain I’ll have a boy 🙂 We’ll see if the mother’s intuition is right.
I thought through my whole first pregnancy it was a boy and boy was I wrong lol
I had a feeling that I was having a girl for my first and I was right..hoeverever, I had a feeling that I was having a girl for my second, and I was wrong LOL!!! I wasn;t as in tune I guess with the second one 😉 LOL
I didn’t find out and thought it was a boy the whole time and I had a beautiful girl!! Congrats and so excited for you!!
No, a surprise all 3 times.
Never understand why people do find out – it doesn’t change your love for the baby and it certainly doesn’t help you plan anything – not even the colour of the nursery that the baby will not spend any time in and not bloody care anyway 😉
I’m almost 36 weeks pregnant and am one of what seems very few, that is waiting to find out the gender. I find that we live in “intsta-gen” everyone needing instant gratification. People need to know things now. No patience. I figure my mom didn’t have the ability to find out, so why should I. I’m waiting with excitement to meet my bundle of joy whatever gender it may be.
Absolutely agree about the instant gratification. Some comments above mention dealing with gender disappointment too. oh my word…at a scan my foremost thought is healthy baby please be a healthy baby.
It is possible to wish for a healthy baby and a baby of a particular gender as well. Some people do so for many different reasons, including already having a child/ren of a particular gender and wanting to balance the family, or because they are concerned about their relationship with a particular gender because of past experience/trauma/abuse from that gender.
Personally, I think if someone is aware that they are wanting a particular gender and choose to find out the gender of the baby before it’s born to avoid gender disappointment, that this is a very mature and responsible response. It gets all the grief/loss feelings out of the way and just lets that person focus on building their relationship With the baby and loving that baby once the baby comes.
Totally agree. Even if you have other children of the same sex it shouldn’t matter. A healthy baby is a healthy baby.
I am due in two weeks, and we have waited to find out! The only downside I have come across, is having to pick names for both! I am having a hard time coming up with names! Also I would add reason #9 is saving money! A lot of the cute stuff that you might buy during this long nine months of waiting, you don’t really need. You will really limit your purchases if you are waiting to find out he gender!
I waited until the birth to find out and it’s the best!! It really is true you have motivation to push when you’re so tired to find out what the baby is. I absolutely LOVED that moment!
That’s amazing for you, however others like to know. Personally i found out for both of mine and I pushed the hardest I could to meet my little girl and my little guy. What works for one, may not work for another.
Mi is right – there is no right or wrong when it comes to finding out or waiting. What’s right for one person isn’t right for another and Mi’s comments are no more rude or judgmental than someone saying their experience was more special because they waited.
Seriously Mi,
Why are you being so sensitive to other people’s responses? Take it easy…. She’s not saying it’s horrible to find out she’s just saying it’s an awesome surprise and gave her motivation.
Take a chill pill
Mi is obviously jealous of everyone elses experience. I feel bad that your experience wasn’t what you expected. I didnt find out and I thought it was AMAZING! Thought i was having a boy the whole time and out came my beautiful baby girl! Best day ever!!
Mi isnt pushing her opinions on others she even writes “personally” and “what works for some may not for others”.
She isn’t busting anyones chops. Everyone else needs to chill
Another reason: you can re-use all the gender neutral stuff you get for your next baby. It seems loco to spend all that money on girl stuff or boy stuff if you plan on having a second baby, or third or fourth! Aside from the fact that it’s the most wonderful surprise. When people asked if i was having a boy or a girl i would respond honestly: “yes! “
Haha, I said “hopefully!”
We have 2 weeks to go and have avoided finding out…
Makes the whole trepidation that comes with the upcoming birth seem less awful know i get to find out at the end!
So excited now!
We did find out. I’m a nurse & this is my 1st. I’m very relieved to know something about our baby. And I’m happy to have another way to prepare for the birth. I also really really really wanted a boy. So I wanted to deal with any gender disappointment long before baby’s arrival. I’ll never forget that moment with my husband where we found out. It was precious and perfect, and I’m beside myself excited.
We found out for the exact same reason. This is our first and I wanted to know what the gender was so we could deal with any gender disappointment before the baby was born. It is a good thing we found out, because it gave my husband and I time to re-adjust our expectations so to speak.
We didn’t find out and it was AWESOME! People thought we were crazy…in general I hate suprises. But the minute my husband and I found out we were expecting we BOTH didn’t want to know. We are planning on NOT finding out for any of our future babies. Also think about how cool this is……finding out from the doctor? Or your husband as he places your beautiful baby you created together on your belly and tells you what you have!!!!! I wouldn’t trade that for the world 🙂
It’s special either way because you both find out at the same time when you find out at the scan. One is not more special than the other.
Who are you to say what she thought was more special. RUDE
She didn’t say it was more special, she said one is not more special than the other… she has the right to her opinion as anyone else.
Aniko was kind of smug about not finding out and I think that all Mi was trying to point out is that whatever you decide is special for you.
Mi,
Your commnets are rude and judgmental. Enough.
Having a scan and knowing everything is OK is special enough for me. Finding out after giving birth was amazing.