10 Things Babywearing Parents Get Tired Of Hearing

10 Things Babywearing Parents Get Tired Of Hearing

Babywearing is one of the rare things in life that never gets old.

Having your baby snuggled up on your chest, reaching out to hold your hand, and babbling away to you as you go about your business isn’t really something you tire of.

No parent has ever thought, ‘I am just so fed up of this new baby smell,’ or ‘These teeny tiny soft baby feet are just so tedious now.’

Having your baby in a sling, wrap or carrier means you can sniff that sweet head whenever you want, and of course, it means your baby is pretty happy because he can touch and smell you, too.

There are only two downsides to babywearing. The first is that when your baby is old enough to eat solid foods, you will spend your evenings digging out raisins from your cleavage. And the other is the comments you will receive from other people.

Of course, not all of these comments will be bad, you will get lovely comments too. People who run over to tell you how much they loved babywearing when their kids were little, or those who can’t help but comment on how happy your baby looks nestled against you. And then you will also get the odd negative comment, from friends and strangers alike.

How many of these 10 things have you heard?

#1: Oh, Your Poor Back!

Ah yes, this tiny baby is absolutely killing my poor, decrepit back. I can barely hold myself up, the baby is just so heavy. You would think nature would have made our infants smaller so they could be more easily transported from place to place, hey wait a minute…

#2: You’re Making A Rod For Your Own Back There

Actually, it was the surgeon who made me one, and then fitted it. Seriously, give my spine a tap, it clinks like metal!

#3: That Looks Complicated

I’ve just watched a woman flip her pram handle bars to change the way her baby faces, turn a carry cot into a car seat and clip it in the car before collapsing the pram using just her little finger. She did all of this while carrying a smoothie, and without waking the baby, and in under one minute flat. And you think this rectangle of cloth looks complicated?

#4: We Didn’t Have Those In My Day

Ah yes, the crazy newfangled parenting craze of carrying your own baby. Things were much better in your day, back when nobody had to waste any energy picking up babies if they cried. The good old days, sigh.

#5: Can Your Baby Breathe In There?

Baby, what baby? I just like the carrier. Kidding, of course. Yes, there’s a baby in here, he may or may not be breathing. Thank goodness you reminded me. I’ll just check, yep, he’s breathing. PHEW!

#6: You’re Spoiling That Baby

I totally agree with you there. Babies these days are so pampered with love and attention, it’s appalling. What babies really need is to be ignored, and to get used to how uncaring life is. After all, carrying babies around now is going to leave them entirely unprepared for life as adults. That’s actually why I’m carrying her like this. Not so I can comfort her easier, but so she can see that I’m NOT comforting her. When she cries, I just ignore her, and I don’t want there to be any confusion as to why.

#7: You Won’t Be Able To Do That For Much Longer!

I have already vowed that I will do this either until he leaves for uni or until my back breaks, whichever comes first. And nothing you say is going to change that.

#8: I’m Not Really Into That Sort Of Parenting

You mean, parenting? I’m not entirely sure what you mean by this sort, I hope you’re not judging my entire parenting style simply off how I transport my baby. That would really suck. It would be like if I assumed you were always rude just because you made one insensitive and judgemental comment.

#9: I Can’t Carry My Baby All Day, It Hurts My Arms

I’m not trying to insult your intelligence or anything, but trust me when I say this wouldn’t hurt your arms. Unless you were lifting weights at the same time, and then had muscle ache the next day. Or unless a door closed too fast and you got your arm stuck in it, that would probably hurt. But having your baby securely fastened into a carrier so you can have your arms free really doesn’t hurt your arms. Believe me.

#10: I Have An Old Pram You Can Have

Oh, thank goodness. All this time I’ve been pretending that babywearing was a choice, but really I hate it. I am forced to babywear simply because I don’t have a pram. Thank you so much for saving me from myself.

Note: BellyBelly is committed to gentle parenting, supporting mothers and fathers to be the best parents they can be and helping you to raise happy and healthy babies. Sometimes we like to balance the important knowledge we share with a little humour. We also think it’s important to acknowledge the some of the reals of parenting that we know from experience are often thought and felt privately, but not often said out loud. Hopefully you’ll laugh, connect with these experiences and be affirmed that your parenting journey is just as wild as ours.

 
Last Updated: November 9, 2015

CONTRIBUTOR

Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.


43 comments

  1. Oh and number 11….
    Your baby will never learn to walk if you don’t put him down.
    Well actually I do put him down but if I do it in this social situation you will want to pick him up and breathe on him and give him sugary foods to eat when he is only 6 months old.

    1. Ah yes, the real reason we wear our babies: Then no one else can hold them. Best advice I got after a woman at church TOOK MY BABY AND WOULDN’T GIVE HER BACK was to put her in a carrier. The “that looks complicated thing” was actually good because then I could say I didn’t want to take her out because it took so long to get her back in there lol

      1. I wear at church and people still touch. They rub their back or touch the bottom of their feet. I actually got blank name stickers and wrote don’t touch sleeping baby and stuck it on there. I got some looks but no one touched him after that.

    2. I didn’t use a sling all the time, but I do hold my baby when ever and as long as he wants usually. My grandmother made the comment one time that I should put him in his bed because he was asleep on my chest. I just told her, “He won’t be this little very long. I will cherish this time as long as I can.” She mostly left me alone after that.

  2. I enjoy wearing however the “hurts my arms” bit is not untrue. I have bursitis in my shoulders. I have a carrier that keeps their hips spread wide and fastens well BUT there is no getting away from it. After a few hours my shoulders feel like they have been lit on fire. Yes I have tried different carriers including the ergo which was worse for my shoulder than the 25 year old papoose I use now. Some people are going to have a sore back or sore shoulders from wearing. It is unfair to claim that no one will. In fact if I am correct most baby wearing groups stress that if carriers cause pain to get support so they don’t. That doesn’t always work either but clearly demonstrates that yes some carriers will hurt your upper arms

    1. Have you tried a torso carry? Using a woven wrap with no straps over your shoulders? I love a good torso carry =)

      1. I need to try the torso carrier too then because my baby bjorn carrier has my neck and shoulders hurting very bad…i even feel the fire sensation she speaks on

        1. Yay for babywearing but the Bjorne is very uncomfortable. There is no support at your waist. There are many different brands of ergonomic carriers that will make all the difference in the world. We started with a Bjorne and hates it because it killed my back, shoulders, basically everywhere. A friend showed me her Ergo Baby carrier. Instant love. Not only is it more comfortable for the baby, but it will feel weightless on you. From there I’ve developed a terrible addiction with carriers, mainly Tula, and ring slings. Check to see if you have a local babywearing group where you could try different carriers before buying.

  3. People are just curious and full of opinions. It’s a shame that there has to be an article written about what people comment on. I hope no one reads this that has said any of those things to a mother. It’s embarrassing to think you have said something stupid and have to read about it on a mother’s page. Can’t we just absorb someone’s else’s point of view, smile and move on? Before social media we just listened to what we felt was valid in our lives and maybe had a laugh with friends over a silly question and that was that.

      1. Note: BellyBelly is committed to gentle parenting, supporting mothers and fathers to be the best parents they can be and helping you to raise happy and healthy babies. Sometimes we like to balance the important knowledge we share with a little humour. We also think it’s important to acknowledge the some of the reals of parenting that we know from experience are often thought and felt privately, but not often said out loud. Hopefully you’ll laugh, connect with these experiences and be affirmed that your parenting journey is just as wild as ours.

    1. What a kind and thoughtful comment Shauna. One is made to feel very stupid for voicing the “wrong” comment, meant kindly. Baby fashions in care change….there is no need to be superior in manner because you think your ways are best and put others down by smart replies.

      1. Note: BellyBelly is committed to gentle parenting, supporting mothers and fathers to be the best parents they can be and helping you to raise happy and healthy babies. Sometimes we like to balance the important knowledge we share with a little humour. We also think it’s important to acknowledge the some of the reals of parenting that we know from experience are often thought and felt privately, but not often said out loud. Hopefully you’ll laugh, connect with these experiences and be affirmed that your parenting journey is just as wild as ours.

    2. Perhaps you could take this article as an educating tool to prevent you from saying “embarassing” things again. By being embarassed on one occasion reading something in private is much better than mothers who do things differently than you being judged, harassed and also maybe embarassed too on a regular basis. Or don’t read these types of articles.

    3. I could not agree with you more! As if one person speaks for all moms who transport their babies in a certain way? It would be nice if people took curiosity at face value and didn’t treat it like criticism.

    4. I agree!! Social media gives people the confidence to be rude regarding other opinions. I know that on a way this article was most likely intended to be humorous but for most of the points, if someone took the time to explain and educate the ill opinion on baby wearing would likely be dropped.

      1. Note: BellyBelly is committed to gentle parenting, supporting mothers and fathers to be the best parents they can be and helping you to raise happy and healthy babies. Sometimes we like to balance the important knowledge we share with a little humour. We also think it’s important to acknowledge the some of the reals of parenting that we know from experience are often thought and felt privately, but not often said out loud. Hopefully you’ll laugh, connect with these experiences and be affirmed that your parenting journey is just as wild as ours.

    5. It’s grest that u have the self confidence and can roll it off ur back..but there are others who need to know that they aren’t the only ones who hear it and should still ware….and IF someone who doesn’t wear decided to read an article about it I hope would be more the huh I didn’t think of it that way and realised they were rude and change their a price instead of stuck in their ways

  4. I got a ‘What happens if you fall over?!’ I am pretty pleased i had the brain power to respond with, ‘Why? Do you fall flat on your face on a regular basis?’ Though recently i have had several strangers approach me, asking where they can get a carrier like mine, and how they can learn to do it too! baby wearing is spreading! Though yesterday in the shop, he was asleep and i heard a little boy asking why i was carrying my baby like that and his dad told him ‘ because she wants to, you can carry a baby like too!’ and someone was like, ‘Oh wow, you have a bay in there!?’ And i showed them his little sleeping face!

    1. I had the bad fortune of falling down a small set of uneven stairs in Old Montreal while I was wearing my seven month old kangaroo style in a sling. Your instincts kick in and you do everything possible to protect the baby. My little girl never even cried. But in trying to protect her I sprained my ankle pretty darned good and got a HUGE bruise on my ass.

    2. I too have fallen whilst baby wearing. I slipped on ice while front-carrying on the school run in winter. I got a bruise on my behind but baby stayed asleep. The same happened moments later with a parent struggling with a buggy. Unfortunately a hospital trip was required.
      More recently I was wearing my 3 year old in a wrap on my back on a wooded trail. Summer but damp. I misjudged a small slope, slipped on a rock, and fell backwards. I instinctively reached back and hurt my arm. I was terrified that she had cracked her head on the ground but she was fine – just got a fright as I instinctively absorbed the fall.
      Anecdotal yes – but those are 2 falls out of 3+ years of babywearing in rough terrain.

    3. I was walking on a gravel road with my then 14mo in a ring sling. Stumbled on a rock a I FLEW forward. Instinctively rotated to the left and spun about 300° landing on my rear facing the way I had come. Little one scraped his head a bit and was crying because he was scared. I scraped my legs, arms, hands; sprained my ankle; sprained my wrist & arm; and knocked my hip out of whack.
      Had I not been babywearing, I shudder to think what would have happened to him.

  5. Sorry, but a lot of these are women being too sensitive. A Moby wrap, for example, DOES look complicated and for someone that is not used to seeing people baby-wear, it makes sense that they would think/say that. It isn’t rude. Asking if it hurts your back is ALSO not rude. Some people are just curious, and it’s a shame that babywearing parents come off as being so stinkin’ offended by comments that are not intended to be mean.

    1. Note: BellyBelly is committed to gentle parenting, supporting mothers and fathers to be the best parents they can be and helping you to raise happy and healthy babies. Sometimes we like to balance the important knowledge we share with a little humour. We also think it’s important to acknowledge the some of the reals of parenting that we know from experience are often thought and felt privately, but not often said out loud. Hopefully you’ll laugh, connect with these experiences and be affirmed that your parenting journey is just as wild as ours.

      1. Enough of the canned replies, BellyBelly! One was enough; two was overkill; and now you’re just being annoying.

        1. I’m not going to assume those who have posted comments are reading everyone else’s comments and replies also. Now everyone can see I have replied to their comment.

  6. I loved wearing my daughter but can’t stand doing it with my son. He is heavy and I’ve tried every cloth known to man and it still stinks to lug around 25 extra pounds all day. My daughter was tall but light so it was easy and fun to have her close. My son; not so much. He just continually tries to get out of it, eat my necklace, or pull my hair and he’s heavy to boot. So yeah it can hurt. Also some of the wraps I’ve tried are extremely complicated to take on and off. So either I’m just not that smart or that really isn’t a rude comment, it’s just people being curious how you manage it.

  7. Are you kidding!? I would carry my adult children if they would let me! LOL.
    More power to babywearing and co-sleeping! My children are both very well-adjusted adults and very loving young women!

    1. That made me laugh so much. My children are still children, but too big n heavy to carry. I feel the same way. I wore mine and I didn’t even know baby wearing was a thing! Why would you want to put them down when they can be in your arms. Thanks for the giggle

  8. I always get the question, “she isn’t going to fall out the bottom?” When she’s in the RS or moby wrap. It always makes me laugh, then I show them her deep seat and the fabric between us. But for the most part I get lots of positive comments. Good article! It was a fun read.

  9. Most people looked on affectionately when I wore our daughter for about a year. One time I got an awkward comment while shopping…A woman said “Is that a doll? I thought you were carrying a doll.”
    I think I got that comment twice.

  10. I absolutely LOVE this article – too funny! Equally hilarious are those who are offended by it. Who are probably also those people about whom this article is speaking. Babywearing is one of those “non mainstream” parenting choices like extended breastfeeding or home schooling and people who aren’t familiar (or simply don’t agree with it) will have something to say. Smart people are tactful with questions and curiosities, but others aren’t as smart or just plain rude. Happy Parenting everyone!

  11. I guess I’ve been really lucky – I’ve been wearing my 11 month old since birth and have received only positive comments. I’ve had some questions out of curiosity from people unfamiliar with baby wearing and have been asked for some brand/type recommendations, but nothing nearly offensive.

  12. I’m a pretty sarcastic person but this list was mean spirited. Humans say silly things to make conversation. I always wanted to wear my kids but having c-sections made it impossible. If wearing your child makes one this annoyed with others maybe I’m glad I couldn’t.

    1. I agree. I do a combination of wearing, carrying and strolling. And I found this list just as rude as the writer feels the people she is writing about are. The reasons i dont exclusivly wear is because sometimes its not near me, so i carry, sometimes my chronic stomach pain flares up and having the baby on my esophagus hurts, so i stroll and my parking is about 2 blocks from my front door so if i have been shopping i also stroll. It doesnt mean i choose to ignore my baby or make life complicated. BTW, I have never gotten any of these comments. If people say anything at all it is “aww how old is he/she”? Then they tell me about their own kids. It’s the same reaction as when they are in the stroller.

  13. My personal favorite? “When do I get a ride in that thing?”

    Usually said by 80 year old men who think they’re funny.

  14. The tone is super self righteous and slightly obnoxious and prideful — do people really care how you carry your baby as much as you think they do?

  15. hehe I hardly ever carried my first because my arms would hurt really badly! She was 12lbs already at her 6w check up, and by 4mos she was almost 20lbs. all breastfed but seriously chunky and I am a tiny 5″2′ size 2 after all the feedings. I was so grateful for carriers to be able to hold her close and still have my arms free..and yes I wore her until her 3rd birthday, when I found out I was 6w pregnant! Of course, she can walk a lot, up to a mile at a time, but I still wore her on my back because sometimes there were extreme hills, walking 30+ minutes one way, or huge crowds where we were going. #2 is 10 weeks and has been worn for most of his life. I have a stroller but hate going out with it, it’s big and bulky with the carseat and everything in it too, can’t go up stairs or bumpy terrain…can’t go on the bus…..it’s so much easier with just me, my baby, and my bag!

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