You’ve heard it before and it might even be happening to you. If you’re wondering what happens to your body when you press ‘pause’ on your sexually active life, you’ve come to the right place.

Yes, I’m aware I said ‘pause’; for you, though, it might feel like a permanent decision right now – a decision you’re likely to be grieving over without even realizing it.

Life is a continuum. You don’t stop something beneficial for your health just because you stop having sex, or you’re no longer fertile or interested in the kind of sexual activity you’ve had so far.

Perhaps a new gate to human sexuality is opening up for you, where you can remain sexually active but at a completely different level.

What happens when you stop being sexually active?

Every being’s ultimate purpose is reproduction. If you’re sexually active, life expectancy will increase, as your body understands it’s still in the game. When you stop having sex regularly or stop having sex altogether, your body heads into decay mode much faster. You become expendable and your body knows it.

A bit of reproductive anatomy and physiology

Oxytocin is called ‘the love hormone’. This is because you secrete oxytocin in large quantities when you’re experiencing love.

Breastfeeding, cuddling with a loved one, good sex, being in love, having a meal with loved ones… these are all activities where the oxytocin release is very high.

Our body thrives on love. That’s our natural status – the state we want to be in, regardless of our age or our interest in sex.

When there’s no oxytocin running through our veins we don’t experience a neutral status but a negative one. This is because oxytocin’s antagonists are stress hormones (the ‘villains’ if oxytocin were the ‘hero’). Whenever there’s a lack of one, the other appears. High levels of oxytocin mean low levels of stress hormones and vice versa.

There are never low levels of both.

Read more about the love hormone in Natural Oxytocin | Benefits Of The Hormone.

Female sexual health

The role of the female in sexual reproduction is outstanding. With one tiny cell chosen from millions, she will make the perfect offspring. Once ready, she will birth it outside of her body and will nourish and do her best to make sure it survives.

Seeing how invested the female is in reproduction, it’s understandable that her fertile window is narrower than that of the male.

Many women, however, are under the impression that once they have passed their sexual peak, there’s no need to stay sexually active. It’s as though menopause wasn’t just the end of their fertile time but also the end of a healthy sexual life.

For many women, especially for those who didn’t really enjoy their sexual activity, menopause is a time of discovery – a time for a different, new and exciting sexual function.

For many generations, women’s sexual activity was tamed by the men’s needs; many women’s sexual lives were directed by their partners. Menopause can open a world of discovery of female sexual satisfaction, where sexual performance issues are left behind and a sexually active life gained through others’ sexual desire is now open to self exploration.

Read more about female sexual health in these BellyBelly articles:

Fertility And Menopause | Critical Facts You Need To Know After 40

Menopause | 10 Symptoms, Signs And Treatment.

Male sexual health

The male’s role in sexual reproduction is less demanding than that of the female. When conception has occurred the man’s role is expendable.

Of course, the more supported, loved and nurtured the mother is, the better the offspring will develop but, once the sperm has reached the egg, the father’s active role has been fulfilled. Pregnancy will carry on, regardless of where the father is or how involved he is with the mother.

In other words, strictly physiologically speaking, when a man has impregnated a woman, his reproductive role is fulfilled and his next sexual mission will be to impregnate the female again.

This is, at cellular level, our mission as animals. When the rational part comes into play, men are able to see and realize all the benefits a monogamous relationship can bring to them but it’s our animal instinct that drives sexual function. Men, therefore, remain sexually active for almost all their lives as they simply need to produce healthy sperm and make it reach the egg. Staying sexually active is the only way for men to keep fulfilling their reproductive mission.

What happens when a woman stops being sexually active?

When a woman stops being sexually active, her oxytocin levels will be much lower and, as a direct consequence, her stress hormone levels will then rise.

A woman who could be experiencing love is living in fear, simply because she has stopped being sexually active. In most cases, she doesn’t suffer sexual dysfunction or have sexual problems. Usually, it’s because her partnered sexuality has favored the male, to the extent that the relationship has modified her sex drive. When this happens, women usually see the reduction of their sexual activity or sexual frequency as a welcome liberation – often because they weren’t leading healthy sex lives but sex lives dominated by their partners’ sexual desires.

What happens when a man stops being sexually active?

A man stops being sexually active for two main reasons. One pertains to his physical health and the other is more aligned with his mental health.

If there’s an underlying condition, such as erectile dysfunction, immune system imbalance or prostate cancer, naturally it will put a stop to his sexual activity.

When a man stops being sexually active with no underlying physical causes, it’s usually because he feels he’s accomplished his reproductive role or he has lost the person with whom he’s been sexually active. As a man ages, his sex drive naturally diminishes; his testosterone levels drop and he’s not up for regular sex as he was before.

When a man stops being sexually active, his body will start to shut down and oxytocin release will be replaced by adrenaline and cortisol release. The risk of prostate cancer, cardiovascular disease or developing chronic health conditions increases greatly when a man stops being sexually active.

We must ditch the harmful idea that being sexually active just means having regular intercourse. A man and a woman can be sexually active in so many different ways.

Research suggests that lower levels of sexual activity lead to poorer health.

A healthy lifestyle means more sex, regular sex, and frequent sex. Being sexually active brings plenty of health benefits that will mean overall good health.

What causes a woman not to engage in sexual activity?

Men and women experience their sex lives very differently. The difference in how girls and boys have been educated about sex will greatly influence their future sexual relationship health.

A healthy libido is one of the key factors in a healthy sex life. Unless she has a hormonal imbalance that tampers with her sex drive, a woman will most likely not be sexually active because she doesn’t enjoy sex anymore.

Sexual medicine research suggests that unfulfilled expectations tend to be behind this problem. If patriarchy has really tampered with male sexuality, the damage done to female sexuality is far greater. Most women who put an end to their sex life do it because their lives are better without the sexual activity that’s available to them.

A woman who stops being sexually active might do so mainly because, for her, sex was not about her pleasure but her partner’s; the relative health benefits of a healthy sexual life are not there when sex is no longer about your own pleasure.

Older women might lose interest in sex altogether when they’re just not interested in the sexual activities they’ve been engaging in so far.

What causes a man not to engage in sexual activity?

If a man doesn’t engage in sexual activity it’s quite likely due to a physical cause. If the cause is mental or emotional it will most likely manifest physically, too.

Patriarchy has placed a heavy toll on men’s sexuality, too. The idea that a man must be sexually active for at least an additional decade after women experience menopause helps no one (well, except big pharma and its ‘magic blue pills’ producers).

Men tend to hide any emotional problems, especially if they believe their manhood might be questioned if they express them.

Always talk to your partner if you see any unusual behavior in his sexual life.

At what age do men stop being sexually active?

Age is just an indicator of the amount of time spent on Earth. Some men will stop frequent ejaculation and frequent sex but will carry on exploring their sexuality, as a way to stay healthy. Other men remain sexually active until their last days. In terms of their sex life, there isn’t an age limit that fits all men and this is totally natural and normal.

At what age do women stop being sexually active?

In terms of women’s sexual health, menopause is a very important milestone. Losing the capacity to get pregnant, though, doesn’t mean that oxytocin should stop being a rich component of your blood flow or that sexual arousal will disappear along with menstruation. Just as men do, women will stop sexual activity when it’s the right time for them, regardless of age or fertility status.