10 Things Experienced Mamas Do When They Visit A New Baby

10 Things Experienced Mamas Do When They Visit A New Baby

Mamas know. They know what it’s like to survive nine months of pregnancy.

They remember how vulnerable you feel during those early, sore, hibernating days of motherhood.

They have been there, got the t-shirt and survived to tell the tale.

10 Things Experienced Mamas Do When They Visit A New Baby

Experienced mamas know how to be good new baby visitors. They aren’t going to leave you feeling harassed, they’re just going to take amazing care of you so, by the time they leave, you feel like the world has given you a cuddle.

All new baby visitors could take a leaf out of the experienced mama book, and the world would be a much kinder place if they did.

Here are 10 things experienced mamas do when they visit a new baby:

#1: They Show Up On Time

Time is precious for new mamas and it’s important to stick to schedule.

New mamas get that. They remember the days of rushing your lunch between visitors or trying to shower quickly before the next guests arrive, and how infuriating it is when people just don’t turn up then stroll in casually an hour late.

New mamas will be on time, and if they can’t be, they’ll let you know in good time. They’re not going to leave you hanging around for them, they know how precious your time is.

#2: They Arrive Quietly

You know when you’re just so excited to visit a newborn baby that you scream really loudly and wake said baby up? No, experienced mamas wouldn’t know about that. They know all too well how frustrating that kind of behaviour is.

You can tell the experienced mama in a group because she’ll be the one slinking silently to her chair whilst whispering her greetings so as not to wake a baby who may or may not even be sleeping. Better asleep than sorry, that’s what experienced mamas say.

#3: They Leave The Kids At Home

The newborn days are a little bit like living in a bubble. You have your sofa, your bed and your pyjamas. You have a baby to cuddle and all the chocolates you can eat (hopefully).

Your days are 24 hours long, there are no nights when you have a newborn, but they are filled with cuddles and baths and sleepy smiles. Life feels pretty good, even though you need to sit down carefully and your nipples are chapped.

You should be hibernating in a bubble of love. You know what will burst that bubble? Kids. Specifically, someone else’s kids running around, shouting and generally being kids.

Kids are great and, of course, you love kids, but experienced mamas know to leave their kids at home when they go to visit a new baby.

#4: They Bring Cake

You must experience birth to truly understand how much new mamas deserve cake. Experienced mamas will turn up with huge slabs of cake. Chocolate fudge, victoria sponge, whatever you love, they’ll bring it.

They know you’re bleeding heavily and hormonal and sleep deprived, so don’t worry, they’re bringing cake.

#5: They Listen

From your childfree friends, you should expect cries of ‘gross’ ‘eeeeeew’ and ‘did you poop?” when you recount the birth story. To the child-free, a birth story is little more than a fictional horror tale.

To other mothers, it’s important. They will listen. They won’t dismiss your feelings, tell you it’s gross or interrupt you to tell you a more horrific tale. No, they know how badly you need to talk and they are there to listen.

Let it all out, mama. Tell her about how scared you were, how much it hurt and how powerful you were as you welcomed your baby into the world.

#6: They Do Something Helpful

An experienced mama will stroll into your house and sort something out for you. You might be protesting she doesn't, but she will see what needs doing, and do it.

She might fold your washing while she’s talking to you, take care of the dishes while she’s making you a coffee, or take the dog for a quick walk so you can spend some time with your new family. She makes it her duty to make your life a little bit easier so you’ll be glad you invited her round.

#7: They Know When To Leave

When you have a new baby, time is of the essence. You’re split between wanting to show your baby off to the world and wanting to be alone with your family so you can bond.

Some visitors outstay their welcome, they wait too long and fail to notice how exhausted you are, leaving you in the awkward predicament of whether you should ask them to leave or fall asleep during their story.

Experienced mamas won’t do that to you. They know how tired you are, they know when it’s time to leave and they will hotfoot it out of there as soon as they think you want them to. And, they wouldn’t be offended if you asked them to leave earlier. They get it. They remember.

#8: They Leave No Trace

There’s nothing worse than visitors leaving a pile of mess in their wake. Empty cups, glasses, a plate of crumbs that you have to pick up and tidy away when they’ve gone even though you're still moving gingerly.

An experienced mama knows how annoying this is and so would never do it. Instead, she’ll leave no trace of her visit. In fact, if it wasn’t for the huge slab of cake awaiting you in the fridge, you’d have no clue she’d been there at all.

#9: They Inhale The Baby Smell

Everyone loves that new baby smell, don’t they? You’d have to be pretty cold not to find it at least pleasant, but most people find it a little addictive. This is never more true than when you’re a mama. Especially if you’re a mama who has finished having babies, then that smell if pretty much crack to you.

Your childfree guests will politely mumble something about the new baby smell, but the experienced mama guests will snort your infant so they can get high from the smell of cuddles and dreams and tiny toes.

#10: They Send You The Photos

You’ll probably notice her snapping away during her visit, as though you welcomed the paparazzi into your home. She’ll take plenty of photos of your new baby, a couple of selfies with the new baby (for the insta-likes, of course) and, as long as you don’t tell her not to, a few photos of you being a mama.

She doesn’t care whether you’ve done your hair or whether your pyjamas are stained, she just wants to help document these early days for you. And, whilst most visitors disappear with their photos, she’ll make sure she sends them all to you after she leaves. She knows how important those photos are to you and how much you will treasure them for years to come.

To summarise, experienced mamas make the best visitors because they know exactly what you need even when you’re too tired/hormonal/busy breastfeeding to work it out. And, they’d never do any of the things on this list of 16 Things To Avoid When Visiting A Newborn Baby.

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Fiona Peacock CONTRIBUTOR

Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.


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