There are few things in life more stressful than hearing your baby cry. The sound of a newborn’s cries will send most mothers into panic, even if it’s not their baby. They immediately feel how can they help with a crying baby.
New mothers feel their heartbeats quicken, their breasts may start tingling in response to the cries and they can end up feeling pretty stressed out which, as you can imagine, isn’t a great help when you’re trying to calm a crying baby.
If it happens in public, it’s even more difficult. You can be left feeling that the whole world is judging you because you don’t know how to soothe your child. It gives mothers a real confidence boost to be able to quickly and efficiently calm their crying child, but what if they can’t?
What if their baby keeps crying and nothing seems to be helping? It’s a daunting situation and even the calmest of mothers will be feeling under pressure.
There some things you can do to help with a crying baby:
Help with a crying baby tip #1: Don’t Just Grab The Baby
All mothers are different. Some will love nothing more than somebody else to rock, cuddle and hush their baby for a little while so they can have a break.
For other mothers, it can be really horrid when somebody snatches away their crying baby, even if it’s done with good intentions.
Always offer your help and ask if she’d like you to take her baby. If she doesn’t want you to take the baby, don’t. If she does want you to take the baby for a bit, convince her to have a cup of tea or a rest so that she makes the most of her few minutes of peace.
If she doesn’t want you to hold the baby just yet, try one of the other things on this list instead.
Help with a crying baby tip #2: Follow Her Lead
Some mothers will want to carry on their conversation while they try to soothe their babies, others might find it too stressful to split their attention in that way.
Don’t just carry on, pause and see what the mama does. If she keeps chatting, feel free to carry on. If she seems to want to focus on her baby, give her a break so she can soothe the baby before she carries on whatever you were doing before the crying started.
Make sure she knows you’re happy to wait and there’s no rush. She’ll probably be feeling guilty that she’s not able to enjoy her time with you because she’s in mother mode.
Help with a crying baby tip #3: Offer Practical Help
With an older baby who is crying out of boredom, you might be able to help by offering a distraction.
See if mother wants you to offer toys to the baby or find anything she might need from the changing bag, such as a drink or snack.
See if mother needs anything too. Does she want you to order her meal or go buy her a drink? Make yourself useful, by taking care of other things you free up her mental capacity so she can fully focus on her baby.
Help with a crying baby tip #4: Stay Calm
The baby is screaming, and your friend seems to be going into panic mode, don’t join her. Stay firmly planted in a calm place. Give reassuring smiles and empathy, don’t start panicking about what might be wrong with her baby.
Sometimes babies cry, it doesn’t mean there’s anything seriously wrong. It might not be fun to listen to, but trust that the baby is having a worse time than you. Your attitude could be the difference between the mama staying calm and feeling flustered.
Help with a crying baby tip #5: Tell Her She’s Doing A Good Job
Even the most natural mothers have a little voice inside their head that tells them they’re doing a bad job. New mamas worry they’re no good at motherhood, or their baby doesn’t like them, and they’re doing it all wrong. There is so much to worry about when you have a baby to take care of.
Give her confidence a much needed boost by noticing what a great job she’s doing. Compliment her mothering skills and point out her baby is lucky to have such a caring mama. She might not acknowledge what you say over the cries of her baby, but she’ll remember your kind words at 3am when she’s lying awake feeding her baby.
Are you a mother? What do you wish your friends would do to help with a crying baby?
A research review found ‘some evidence suggestive of improved mother-infant interaction, sleep and relaxation, reduced crying and a beneficial impact on a number of hormones controlling stress’.
If you’d like to learn more about the reasons why babies cry, look at our article Baby Crying? 10 Reasons Why Babies Cry.
