10 Silly Reasons To Have A Homebirth

10 Silly Reasons To Have A Homebirth

There are so many great reasons to give birth at home. Being in the privacy of your own home may help you to feel more safe and relaxed.

Everything will look and feel familiar, you’ll have your fave home comforts to nurture you, you’re in control of your surrounds, and when that baby is born, you’ll be tucked up in your own bed where you belong.

These are just some of the reasons why expectant parents choose to welcome their babies at home.

If you’re currently trying to decide where to give birth, you may find it helpful to write down a pros and cons list.

It’s important to fully investigate your options and think about which setting will work best for you.

The most important thing is that you feel safe – that is essentially the greatest need of a birthing woman to labour.

Now, that’s the serious side of choosing where to have your birth. Here are 10 silly reasons to have a homebirth. Enjoy!

#1: You Get To Freak Out Your Neighbours

Your neighbours are about to pay for every bit of noise pollution they have subjected you to. The late night parties, the deafeningly loud television, and the shouting matches are nothing compared to what you’re about to throw at them.

On the night of your labour, your neighbours will be sleeping soundly in bed, until they will sit up with a jolt, and quickly turn their bedside light. They will glance nervously around the room, unsure whether they are still dreaming, as they try to work out whether there is a cow in the room. There isn’t, so where is that mooing coming from…?

#2: No-one Is Going To Judge Your Music Taste

If you’re on a labour ward, chances are you’re surrounded by other labouring women. As well as hearing your moos, they may be able to hear your birth soundtrack. Now, a birth soundtrack is a very personal thing. Only you can know what music will help to motivate you and keep you focused during the birth. Whether that’s Cyndi Lauper, Michael Jackson or an incredibly offensive rap song on repeat, giving birth at home will save you from having to play your birth soundtrack in public.

#3: You Will Have A Freezer

If you were to give birth in a hospital, it is unlikely you would have room in your hospital bag for your freezer. And even if you did managed to force it into your Mary Poppins-esque hospital bag, you’d be unlikely to find room for it in your birth room. Plus, all the contents would have melted on the way to the hospital, so it would be sort of pointless anyway.

Most likely you’d have to make do with the ice chips from the hospital machine. One. Cup. At. A. Time.

At home, however, you can give birth whilst hugging your freezer, if you so wish. You can fill every last freezer draw with ice pops and ice cubes, and then spend your entire labour demanding ‘MORE!’.

#4: You Won’t Lose Your Birth Partner To Loose Change

In the run up to all births, expectant dads suddenly become obsessed with loose change. All coins are met with excitement, immediately separated from the notes, and stored in a VSP (very safe place). It becomes almost a compulsive habit, as change is squirreled away for the birth, because on that fateful day, while you are busy worrying about giving birth, he will be totally consumed with paying for the parking or deliberating over what to buy from the vending machine. If you give birth at home, you won’t need to go through this ordeal. And won’t have to pretend to be impressed at his coin securing abilities when you’re actually in the midst of a contraction.

#5: Your Cat Will Get To Be Part Of The Birth

What could be more tranquil than the shocked stare of your cat from across the room as you cry out during a contraction?

If you’re having a water birth, you’ll get the added bonus of a constant fear that your cat is about to pop the pool each time he darts across the room. And what could be better than welcoming your beautiful new baby with loving arms only to look up and get a full view of your cat licking his privates?

#6: You Can Lock Your Bathroom Door

Some hospital staff have a weird habit of standing at the door to the toilet, chatting to you whilst you try to relieve yourself. Oh, and the door will probably be open. One of the benefits of giving birth at home is that you know the layout of the house much better than your birth attendants, so as soon as you feel the need to use the bathroom, you can waddle full speed to the bathroom and lock the door. Privacy. Enjoy.

#7: You’ll Get A New Sieve

Your midwife will probably bring round a birth box a few weeks before your estimated due date. In it will be all the weird and wonderful things you might need during the birth. If you hire a pool, you’ll probably also get another birth box with that too. From angled mirrors to use during water births, to cardboard tubs to store the placenta in, these boxes will be jam packed with everything you’ll need to accessorise your birth. Oh, and there might be a sieve in it, just in case you decide to go for a water birth. Don’t use it for making cupcakes though, this sieve is really just for use in the pool. You’ll find out why on the day, or not.

#8: You Won’t Be Able To Hear Other Babies Being Born

It’s pretty unlikely that your home birth loving neighbour will be giving birth at the exact time as you. So the chance of you hearing another woman labouring during your home birth is pretty slim. You’ll be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home, without having to worry about the sounds of anyone else’s baby being born. You won’t hear mooing, or aggressive swearing (aimed at the soon-to-be-dad, obviously) or even the cries of a newborn baby. Well, unless it’s you and your newborn making those noises.

#9: You Will Discover New & Exciting Uses For All Your Things

Once you’ve spent half an hour walking sideways up and down the stairs like some kind of demented crab, you’ll never look at that simple staircase the same way again. The kitchen door will take on a new life as you hang off it with your bum pushed out during contractions. And the kitchen stool will become even more useful when your partner sits on it and holds you up by your armpits as your sink into each contraction. Who knew your house was filled with so many innovative birth supports?!

#10: You Won’t Need To Be Discharged

One of the worst things about a hospital stay is how long it takes to be discharged. You find yourself waiting hours, fully dressed and sat next to a packed bag, as nurses and other staff rush around telling you ‘it shouldn’t be long now.’ There’s always something to delay you leaving – whether it’s test results that haven’t quite arrived back, an emergency in another room, or the inevitable wait to speak to a medical professional. By giving birth at home, you bypass all of this.

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Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.

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