Family mealtimes are meant to be sociable and enjoyable events where you each share news from your day. But what if you spend your mealtimes with a picky eater? If your child refuses to try new foods and tends to stick to ‘safe’ foods, you might have a picky eater on your hands.
You probably worry about your child’s nutrition at mealtime. After all, what’s the health value of breadsticks, really? And you might feel jealous when other families get their kids to eat a variety of foods. As your children grow, so too will your worries about the limited range of foods they enjoy.
What is picky eating?
A 2015 article in Appetite states:
Picky eaters are defined as those who consume an inadequate variety of food through rejection of a substantial amount of food stuffs that are both familiar and unfamiliar.
There is no ‘definite’ definition of a picky eater but if you have one, you’ll know. Parents of fussy eaters worry about mealtimes and their child’s health. Your child might stick to a limited number of foods for every meal or be unusually wary of new foods. Many parents describe their children as ‘fussy’ eaters but many of these children might not be clinically considered ‘picky eaters’.
Is picky eating normal?
Although not all kids go through a fussy eating stage, it’s generally considered to be a developmentally normal stage of child development. In 2017, a study published in Appetite assessed the food intake of picky-eating toddlers in China:
In healthy children with typical growth patterns, picky eating seems to be a normal phase of development experienced by some children, without substantial consequences on their nutrient or food group intakes.
What causes picky eating?
There are thought to be various causes of fussy eating, such as:
- Medical conditions, including autism
- Your child’s temperament; some children are born more sensitive and fussy than others
- Negative food experiences
- Late exposure to different tastes, textures and food types.
Parenting style can also affect the food your child eats. If a parent is controlling or anxious about food, it can affect a child’s relationship with food. It’s important to let your child explore new food types and continue to offer new foods regularly. Both permissive and strict parenting styles are linked with fussy eating.
When to worry about picky eating
All parents worry. Parents of picky eaters worry a lot. You might worry about whether your children are getting enough nutrients, whether they will grow properly, and whether their food provides enough energy for a healthy lifestyle. You might also worry that your children will have an entirely ‘beige’ spread at their future wedding if the picky eating continues.
When it comes to nutrients, you might not need to worry as much as you’d think. According to a 2018 research review published in Nutrients:
Although, in some studies, picky eaters had lower intakes of certain vitamins and minerals, the levels consumed generally exceeded the recommended values, suggesting nutritional requirements are being met.
A 2016 study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that picky eating did not seem to affect macronutrients but that zinc and iron were lower amongst fussy eaters by age three. If you’re worried about your child, ask your healthcare provider for advice. Pediatricians are familiar with extremely picky eaters and will be able to offer support.
How to deal with a picky eaters?
Here are some tips to help your child and take the stress out of mealtime and meal planning with your fussy eater:
1. Establish a routine
It’s best if meals are served at the same time each day, although this can be tricky when different family members have different commitments throughout the week. Have a ‘no electronics at the table’ rule for every family member. Make sure toys are kept away from the dinner table.
Use family meals as an opportunity for family members to discuss their day. This will take some pressure off mealtimes and make them about more than just food. Your child will also learn important conversational skills, such as turn-taking and listening.
2. Make sure your child is hungry at the table
Kids are snack addicts; they love snacks. They might even be sneaking snacks without you realising. Children are more likely to sample new foods if they arrive at the dinner table hungry. You should ideally aim for a two-hour gap between your child’s last snack and a big meal. It’s okay if your child is hungry before dinner; you don’t need to provide a snack to stave off hunger. Instead, try to keep your child entertained until the food is ready.
3. Don’t give up
You might have to offer a new food repeatedly before a child accepts it. If you’re worried about food waste, offer a tiny portion, but continue to offer it daily for at least two weeks. It can take a while for your child to become familiar with the sights, smells and textures of different foods. Remember, it’s okay if it takes weeks for your child to try the new food. No pressure.
4. Praise good eating habits
Fussy eaters often find mealtimes stressful. The atmosphere might be tense, and a child can usually sense your frustration. Although frustration is understandable, you shouldn’t let your child know when you’re annoyed. Instead, praise good eating habits. When your child tries new foods or is more adventurous with foods, make sure you acknowledge it.
5. Don’t bribe
Parenting can be frustrating. You desperately want your children to try a new vegetable and you might promise them ice cream if they do. Not only does this not improve your child’s experience of the new food, but it can actually backfire and teach kids to see healthy foods as a challenge to be overcome and food bribes as better food.
If you’d like to know more about why you should avoid using food as treats, read BellyBelly’s article An Important Reason Why Food Shouldn’t Be Used As A Treat: Study.
6. Focus on weeks, not days
If you obsess over your child’s dinner plate every day, you’re putting too much pressure on one meal. Even considering your child’s food intake over a day could leave you feeling frustrated. Instead, focus on a whole week. Consider every food your child has eaten over a week. Not only does this lessen the pressure on a single meal, but it will probably leave you pleasantly surprised.
7. Lead by example
Children observe their parents, so ensure you are modelling positive food choices. Eating the same food as your child does might be easier but you should make sure you eat a balanced, healthy and colourful diet, rich in flavours, whole foods and fresh ingredients.
It’s easy to fall back on unhealthy food choices, especially when you’re a sleep-deprived mum, but try to show your child a variety of different food choices. The more frequently your children see parents enjoying fresh fruit and vegetables, the more interested they will be in those foods.
8. Don’t blame yourself
Some kids are just fussy eaters; it’s not a sign of bad parenting. Stop blaming yourself and instead remember that, for many kids, picky eating is a developmentally normal stage of development. You haven’t done anything wrong and are not a terrible parent.
Some parenting styles are associated with picky eating. Specifically, a permissive parenting style and authoritarian (strict) parenting can affect your child’s eating. These parenting styles are associated with control. Permissive parents have little control, whereas authoritarian parents have too much. If you are worried your parenting style might be influencing your child’s eating behaviours, speak to your healthcare provider and ask for advice.
9. Limit unhealthy foods
Many picky eaters prefer sweets and chocolate to vegetables and pulses. If you don’t want your children to eat a diet full of unhealthy foods, limit their contact with them. Don’t buy sugary sweets and chocolate bars if you don’t want them to become a regular part of your child’s diet. You don’t need to label foods a child likes as ‘bad’ or add them to a banned list, but limit how frequently you offer them.
10. Ask for help
If you are worried about your child’s eating habits, it’s time to ask for help. If your children show an extreme aversion to certain foods, refuse to try any unfamiliar foods even after plenty of opportunities, or if they’re starting to limit food choices even further by cutting out foods they previously enjoyed, then it’s time to seek professional help. Speak to your child’s healthcare provider and request a pediatric dietician referral.
