When you first decide it’s time to start trying for a baby, sex is usually fun and exciting. The types of sex you will have seems endless, on demand seem like an awesome idea for the first few weeks.
A few months down the line, however, and you might find that the passion has started to fizzle out.
Since sex has a pretty important role to play in conception, it’s important that you both nurture and enjoy this part of your relationship. That said, no matter how much you try to avoid letting sex feel like a chore, it’s likely you will experience that at some point whilst you try for a baby.
Most couples can recall moments where sex didn’t feel particularly sexy as they tried to conceive, and luckily most of them can laugh about it now.
The types of sex you’ll have whilst trying to conceive
#1: The ‘Want To Make A Baby?’ Intimacy
This is the most exciting sex you’ll have whilst trying to conceive. It’s early days, and the mere fact that you’re even trying for a baby is enough to excite you both. Foreplay these days consists of little more than sticking your head round the door and coyly saying things like ‘Wanna make a baby?’
Sex on demand, and with good reason, is a new and exciting concept that you think will never get old.
#2: The Inappropriate Location Intimacy
You can hardly be blamed for ovulating at your great aunt’s birthday lunch, but don’t expect family members to be very understanding when rumours fly that you got frisky in her downstairs bathroom, whilst everyone else was singing Happy Birthday.
To you as a couple, this sex is probably one of your greatest achievements. It is nothing short of impressive to be able to get it on under the watchful eyes of the creepy knitted doll your great aunt keeps over her spare toilet roll.
#3: The Poorly Intimacy
It’s inevitable that at least one of you will get sick during at least one fertile period. In a more compassionate and caring world, you might decide to give that month a miss. But instead, you’ll just have snotty, sneezy, sweaty sex together, and try to pretend it’s not disgusting.
You’ll make like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and avoid kissing on the lips, not because of love but because you don’t want to end up with the vomiting and diarrhoea bug that’s been plaguing your partner for the past few days. If you’re lucky, you’ll finish the act before anyone has to run to the bathroom.
#4: The I’m Mad At You Intimacy
Before you started trying to conceive, an argument would usually result in one of two things. Mind blowing make up sex or absolutely no sex until the anger had subsided. These days, there’s no such luck as ovaries do not consider relationship status before releasing one of those precious eggs. And so you will find yourself having sex with the person you’re not currently speaking to, hoping that angry sex doesn’t impact upon the pregnancy and result in an angry baby.
#5: The Going Through The Motions Intimacy
Since the very first time you had it, sex has always been about fun, enjoyment and desire. Until, that is, you decided to try for a baby. Now you are having sex for one very important reason, and that is a sure-fire way to zap the fun out of sex. A lot of couples find themselves simply going through the motions around the time of ovulation, desperate to increase their chance of conception. It won’t be steaming hot or erotic, but hey, it might just make a baby.
#6: The Hurry Up Intimacy
Remember in the olden days? You’d be about to head out of the house, and then all of a sudden desire would overcome you both and you’d find yourselves having a quickie before running out of the door? Well, this is like that without the desire. This is more of a ‘We need to do it now, I’m ovulating.’ ‘But I have a meeting in 20 minutes!’ ‘Well, hurry up then,’ situation. It’s probably the world’s most disappointing quickie.
#7: The Experimental Intimacy
When you’re trying to conceive, you can’t help but click on websites or read articles that promise to help you get pregnant fast. Some of these articles will contain good advice, and others will be full of strange ideas. Eager to get pregnant, you’ll absorb it all and try to put it into action as soon as possible. This may mean experimenting with some new and, erm, interesting positions. It might not help you get pregnant, but livening things up in the bedroom isn’t going to do any harm.
#8: The Too Much Pressure Intimacy
Trying to conceive isn’t always fun. In fact, it can be pretty damn stressful at times. It can also be frustrating, upsetting and heart breaking. And when it feels like that, sex can not only stop being fun, it can become pretty impossible. Sometimes it can feel like there is just too much pressure on you both to get pregnant. As you begin to fall out of love with the bodies you feel are letting you down, it can be hard to simply enjoy sex. When it feels like your future happiness is riding upon sex, it can be hard to get in the mood.
#9: The Really Amazingly Good Intimacy
It’s not all doom and gloom. Yes, sometimes sex might be inconvenient, samey and awkward, but other times it will blow your mind. Sometimes it will be so good, you’ll feel like you should document it or share your secrets with the world.
