I agree Liz. The happy mum thing bothers me a little bit sometimes too. Not because mums shouldn't be happy - I don't think we should all be martyrs or anything like that, but so often it seems to come down to a happy mum OR happy baby choice.... I guess one underlying problem really is the fact that so many parents (and that often means mum, really) are fending for themselves without much support. In the end we all just have to make the best decisions we can in the circumstances we're given.
It is really difficult to function and care for someone without sleep. Wow, three years Liz! I've only been going 9 months... I don't think that should mean I leave my DS to cry it out or switch to formula, though, I think that means his dad and grandparents need to step up to help out where they can (which they do).
I wish we had a government programme for home-helpers to come and support new parents in their homes in those critical first few weeks, and that could come back occasionally for parents desperately needing break time later on. That would be far more constructive than any CIO advice, etc.