Does happy mum REALLY equal happy baby?

[sushee]

I actually agree with LuluHB to an extent. I know she's decided to leave the thread, but wanted to agree with some of what she had to say.

I stayed home for two years with my very much wanted son. I went back to work even though I honestly didn't want to, but now I'm back and currently in a job I absolutely love, I cannot imagine going back to being a SAHM. I have an amazing, challenging, exciting job working with people who I enjoy spending time with. And because I feel challenged and fulfilled doing what I'm doing right now, I think I'm a better mum for it. Could my son be happier if he was at home all day with me still? Probably. But it won't make ME happy.

I do feel that while I was at home with my son, the sacrifices I made for him meant that, in my own personal circumstances, I wasn't the happiest mum but it meant that I had a happy, secure child. So as I said in a pervious post, I don't believe happy mum=happy baby necessarily.

I will admit that if not for BB, I would have felt incredibly intellectually stifled as well during my two years at home. I think if most of you would look deeper, you would admit the same thing, otherwise why get involved in these contentious topics over and over again? Isn't it about exercising your brain? Does it mean you love your child any less? I don't think so at all. I know I still love my son with a fierceness I cannot begin to explain.

Yet I will admit that in hindsight, being a SAHM wasn't fulfilling me. I did it anyway though, because I love my son, and his needs, back then, came first. I would do it again if I were faced with the same decision. But it doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to admit that I quite like NOT being a SAHM mum either. If you do, and it fulfills you, fabulous for you. But we're not all the same, and I think everyone needs to respect that. He's now almost 3, and you know what? His needs don't necessarily come first anymore - we compromise now, just as most people do.

And personally I don't think for a second it makes me less of a good mother than anyone else in this thread. Not that anyone has said that, mind you, I just think that when you're happy with the decisions you've made, for your family and yourself, there is no need to be defensive, or allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself.