That was hard work, I didn't like it but it had to be done. You just get on with it & do it.
Yep, and sometimes you might end up 'liking' it because of the sense of achievment from doing it - even if you didn't like it at the time. I would have felt pretty potent having made that trip, FJ - like "I didn't think I could and there, I proved that I'm super-capable of daunting tasks"!
Like me with BFing - it WAS bloody hard work and I did it knowing that I'd look back and thank myself for putting my own comfort way below DS's, because it would eventually be my own comfort, too. So, there's HB=HM & 'this too shall pass' all rolled into one scenario!
I definitely understand that not all mummies are created equal in the resilience stakes and need a leg up and need compromises. They need to know they're compromises, though, and not be told that HM=HB as if all decisions have equal weighting. Admitting you're having difficulty and asking for help is a tough thing, and to be told it doesn't matter which you choose because all roads lead to the ivory tower is misleading. And, sometimes, it is the only thing you can say as a stranger who doesn't know the person asking well enough to feel comfortable pushing them into a new zone of expectation of themselves.
Sorry if that's convoluted - I've just made another batch of playdough (thanks LuluHB for the idea you gave me, even though you're not here anymore! It was great hot day inspiration ) in bright purple and it's probably affected my reasoning :P