Emotional Strain from DH Perspective

[briggsy's girl]

VR - i too have gone crook at my DH for being "too nice" - it sounds stupid, but some of it comes from him being there for me so much, and me not knowing how he's feeling. i've hurt like hell - and he's been there to hold me, comfort me, tell me it will be ok, we'll try again etc - but he hasn't said "well, that's just cr@p, my heart is breaking" or whatever. it's almost like i'm not sure he's feeling as bad as i am cos he's not expressing it - he's there for me (which, i know, is fantastic) - but i want to know he is feeling. i want to know this pain i'm feeling isn't just MY pain. and again, i lash out when i'm hurting - and i think it is, in a way, an attempt to get him to fight back and show me how he's feeling!

it's weird, and twisted - and doesn't make that much sense from the outside, but to me, at the time, it does (and i've since explained this to DH in a calm moment so at least he knows WHY it happens!)

i'm so sorry this cycle hasn't worked for you and your DW - i hope that you can take the time to "reconnect" and decide together what you wish to do for the future. AC is never easy and puts you both under emotional strain, so you have to be on the same page through all of it.

good luck

BG

[VelociRaptor]

Yes things are definitely improving, my DW is going to have at least the next month of trying to have kids while we sort out own lives out. I have suggested we live a bit for a while, not prevent from trying to have kids but try not put any emphasis on it. We can go holidaying, dancing, out drinking (She hasn't had much drinking in the last 2 years), basically just enjoy life for a while without the added pressure of trying for kids.

Once again thanks for all the helpful advice, it has made things a lot easier through these troubled times.

[tiggerlinda]

That is great news we needed to do that too