Hi everyone,

Still feeling mixed up today. Dont really know how to explain it.

Sometimes i think that i am portraying my grief in a negative light. I think that i am dealing with it as best i can and that is ok. Katelyn's loss is so huge......

Thanks for replying though it really lifts my spirits.

I have a question about AF. Hope that it is not tmi.

Here goes - I had my first AF since Katelyn was born. It was very light and only lasted 4 days. My usual cycle is about 32 days and an even up and down with blood flow over 5 days. So on the 1st i got my second AF (32 day cycle). It was very light almost stopped the first day. From then on it was very very heavy i have never had bleeding like it before. So today is the 8th and i am still bleeding but it is more of a smudge now so i guess it will finish soon but my questions are: Is this normal? Will this affect the amount of days in this cycle? Will i still be able to TTC this cycle and still get preg?

Tootie, Thanks for your thoughts. Its good to know that what i am thinking is ok. I dont think that i will ever be able to let go of Katelyn at least not in the near future. I also dont feel that i can start to move on until i have another little life within me. Both my DH and i think that another baby will help me to look forward to the future. I dont feel that i am punishing myself just that i should be upset because of whats happened. If i dont cry everyday i feel very bad about it because i lost my little girl i should be crying and then i end up crying anyway. I will have a bit more of a think about this. Thanks.

Kirsty, Im so sorry about your grandma. When i lost my grandad in January i had told him about Katelyn. I like to think that Katelyn and my grandad are together now and he was such a great grandad to me that i know he would look after my little girl very well. Im glad that you have James but understand that it doesnt make Alex's loss any easier. I look at Katelyn's photo all the time. Its very difficult to see them isnt it. I hope that you are having a good day today.

Angel, Thanks for telling me that you are sure Katelyn knows how i feel. Its nice to know that someone else believes in this too. Good luck at your appointment - let me know how it goes.

Michelle, I am so glad that you have had a couple of good days. Im sorry that you lost your mum, i cant imagine how hard that is. Hope that your days continue to be as good.

Love Sarah