Sarah, hope you are doing OK, sounds like you have been having a really rough time. I am a bit of a vivid dreamer too and it is horrible when they are quite traumatic. I guess for me though, they can sometimes give me a message to move on something, or make me more aware of something in my life. I hope something good can come out of it for you.

Sounds like your mum and my mum should get together. My mum has told so many people about what is going on for us. She thinks that that is OK b/c being my mother, she is going through grief too, for me and for the loss of a grandchild. I do acknowledge that, and I know it is her way of coping, but it can be a little difficult. I doesn't worry me alot in the sense that I think that the more m/c is talked about the less stigma will be attached to it, it is something that does happen, it is nobody's fault, none of us wanted this to happen, it just does. I know that many people don't feel like that and you have to work out for yourself who you do and don't want to know, and for your mum to respect your decisions re that. For me that I know that having something wrong in a sense made it better, it was explainable, and I think my mum totally grabbed onto that, she loves a diagnosis that she can tell people about. I think it has also made it a little easier as, as with your case, it is treatable and I really emphasise that, so there is no reason why you and I can't have a healthy pregnancy and hold a healthy baby in our arms. I think b/c there is a treatment it makes things more positive, rather than negative. I wonder if you focus on the treatment with your rellies now that they know, they will be positive about your prospects. I think that by them knowing, perhaps they will be better able to support you??

I know that I too went through a stage of blaming myself, hating my body for letting me down, and that I killed our babies, and it was an awful way for them to die, to not have enough blood flow and to be unable to grow. I know this sounds harsh, but I really did feel that. I think these feelings just pass with time, as I feel fine with my body, and whilst I am still scared and do have a greater chance of complications, I can make it.

We will get there, if not just sheer determination, and with the right treatment we do have good prospects. We will have our babies! It sounds like you relly believe that which is fantastic. Don't let anyone shake your faith in yourself and your destiny. Take care and hope tomorrow is easier for you.