Hi there,

There was a delay in the approval of my posting so it seems it got lost in the previous page (it was only approved today) so I thought I would re-post:

Hi All,

I've been in and out of this forum for the past six weeks now - drawing comfort from your friendship and support of eachother.

I hope you don't mind if I join in - I'm feeling despondent today and I really could do with some positive vibes.

Basically it's been six weeks since we went for our 19 week scan only to discover that our baby had died at 17 weeks. I'm sure you can all understand what a torrential rollercoaster this has been.

As you can see from my story (which I wrote a week or so after this happened) - I was impatient right from the time this happened to try again.

To be honest, I thought I would be pregnant by now (I was all for ttc immediately even though I knew physically it was better for me to wait) but I didn't reckon on things being so up and down (both physically and emotionally).

I started tracking my bbt straight away and worked out I o'd two weeks ago. But then about 9 days later I started getting some pain and spotting. I went for a scan yesterday and everything looks OK and my hcg is going down slowly (it's around 40-ish). It was all a little confusing - I wish I could have a way to see what is happening inside my body!!

My ob is keeping an eye on me and I've got our follow-up appointment next Wed where we'll get the post-mortem results etc - although I'm not expecting too much from that!

I am now waiting for af and I guess I am just so frustrated and impatient. I have always been such a positive person but this has really taken a kick to my self-confidence and I find myself doubting myself.

Pregnant women and babies seem to have multiplied by a million since this happened and it definitely does not make it easier that my sister, sister-in-law and one of my best friends are pregnant too (the latter two are due on the same day I was - I know, I know - really hard!!!).

I guess this is all a waiting game and patience has never been my strong point. On the positive side (see, I'm trying) it's not a bad life lesson to have to wait for something you really want. And also, at least when we ttc again, my body will be more healthy and ready.

Hope you all have a good day
Lemonade

UPDATE - so since I posted my AF has arrived -I felt sooo much better getting AF. I was really really down the day before - so teary and emotional and felt so much stronger when I realised my body seemed to be going back to normal.

My BBT is also down this morning. The only confusing part of the puzzle is that my HCG levels are being stubborn. The test this morning was still 55 (and hadn't moved since a few days ago)

I spoke to the obs and she wasn't at all concerned. I am seeing her on Wednesday for our post-mc consultaion.

Have a great looong weekend - I definitely need it!