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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester May 07

  1. #55

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    Lynn - We must have posted at the same time. I am on CD 22 too! Hopefully when we both get a BFP this month our babies will be born the same day Though, I don't really know when I am meant to be ovulating, I have been temping and OPKing but still nothing. Though the OPK was darker today than yeaterday, but not quite as dark as the control line yet. Good Luck tomorrow!


  2. #56

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    Bailey - LOL! We have been there for each other on this journey so it would be great to be on the pg journey with you too Fingers crossed that we both catch the eggie this month and our bubbas are born on the same day!

  3. #57

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    Lynn: Whoo Hoo on the rise, I am been thinking about you and that is just wonderful news. I hope so much that tomorrow you get some awesome levels and when you have the US see some big fat ripe follies. GO TEAM 'HOPE'

    Deb: I posted to you in the other thread but I also wanted to say here I am so sorry for your friends loss. What I can say is that she is so lucky to have a wonderful friend like you. Sending Big :hugs: your way.

    Well Lil' Spring has been quiet over the last few days, I have been really worried to be honest. The ob said at this stage it is totally normal and not to worry (TBH there is nothing I can do anyway) he said that I should start doing my kick chart from about 25 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I am still feeling movement, just feels different IYKWIM, not as direct.

    Oh well, I am going to have a warm shower and lay on the bed for a while to really concentrate for half an hour on any movements. Oh the joys of being a 'crazy lady'

    Be back later
    Lv Spring

  4. #58

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    Thankyou Spring for thinking of my friend (and me) today. You are a very special person - I hope you know that...

    It is really hard re: movements at this stage. I know you know that but I just want to say it again. If the baby moves so his/her back isa against your umbilical side then the movements will be more muted as the legs and arms are moving inward. That you are feeling movement is really good and important. A kick chart is a wonderful way to go but it's probably a bit early yet.

    Push on the sides of your belly a bit - drink some sweet cold drink and TALK to Lil Spring and tell him/her you want some action! Sending you lots of love - this is a really tough gig and how you are feeling is so very normal...

  5. #59

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    Hi Girls,

    Chelle - I am so sorry you are going through this again Life is so unfair, some people have to work so hard for something they want (and lets face it, need) but yet for others it comes so easily. I ask myself all the time why we are the ones chosen for the hard road and I cannot come up with a reason. However, if we have to go through this at least we can go through it together and with so much support. If you feel you need to hang around please do, whether you TTC again or not. I am sure you still need the support, maybe even a little more.

    Deb - Sorry to hear to about your friend, :hugs: to her and Spring is right, she is extremely lucky to have such a wonderful (and clever) friend.

    Klee - I was so great meeting you and DP, you were extremely strong telling your and Phoebe's story and yours and all the others made me feel so sad and teary. If only I could have gotten teary at my own story - everyone must have thought I was a freak not crying talking about Nicholas, I just couldnt though

    Spring - Try not to stress too much about lil Spring, I remember with Nicholas it wasnt until towards the 30 week mark that I used to feel him moving around more than not, and from then on he was such a rough-nut too! Listen to your OB (& Deb of course) he has gotten you this far... Although I can understand why your stressed so big for you anyway.

    Lynn - I already spoke to you about your results yesterday, I am hoping so much that there is some really good stuff going on in there tomorrow. Hope you are feeling ok.

    Hi to everyone else.

    Well to catch you all up on the argument with DH, he found last night to be really helpful and made me realise that it was his first opportunity EVER to talk to another father who has lost their baby. I have you girls but he has no one who understands what it is like for him. I mean I understand my feelings but dont know what he feels. He said that he wants to continue to go to the meetings and he is going to try to be more open with people instead of pretending everything is good. I think yesterday made me realise that I have been relying on him to support me but forgetting he needs my support as well. God I feel like a bad wife! But I am aware that he is not coping as well as it seems now so we just have to try to work together.

    Well like Klee, I am absolutely wrecked today so I am going to have a quick read through some threads and go to bed (well after I eat a veg pastie, so easy having them in he freezer!).

    Love to all, Mel

  6. #60

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    Mel: I am glad that yesterday opened up some lines of communication with you and DH about your grief and how you are both dealing with it. I guess no one writes a book about how to get through this so we are all fumbling our way through this journey. Don't be worried that you didn't cry, sometimes I am the same when I talk about Harry, some times I ball, that is how unpredictable grief is.

    Well, I'm off to try to find some dinner.

    Be back soon.
    Lv Spring

  7. #61

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    Hi gals,

    Mel - Great to hear you and DH found the meetings helpful. I agree with Spring, sometimes I can tell my story without crying and other times I cannot get a word out without blubbering. Not sure why, it is so random. I sent you a little good luck charm yesterday to give you some good vibes for this month. Hopefully you will get it tomorrow

    Spring - I know that everyone has already said, but please try not to stress about movements yet. One of the reasons that you don;t need to do kick charts this early on is because the movements are too hard to feel unless the baby is in the right position. They still have so much room in there you just cannot always feel them. I know it is easy for us to say. I am sure that in a few months we will be here posting the same thing and you will giving us our own advice back....

    Well me, still not sure when these bl00dy eggs of mine are going to show up!! I have been doing the OPK's for a week. The line seemed darker today, but still not as dark as the control, so I am hoping that it will be positive tomorrow. I have been temping for 2 weeks to, and there hasnt yet been a rise, so I don't think I missed it? But we have been DTD quite a bit, so hopefully we caught it!!

  8. #62

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    Good morning ladies.

    Lynn - Thank you for your post, to be honest I think Thomas was stillborn - I did not know the definition of stillborn so thank you for the info. I basically went into labour at 25wks and Thomas was very much alive (they kept checking his heartbeat and he was very stable), but when I gave birth he was breach and I had not dilated enough to let him through without problems. So i think he died as i was delivering him so he was born still (or was unable to breath and died??). Sorry did not mean to give so much detail there but it just sort of needed to get off my chest.

    I have not spoken to anyone about it as the ob who saw us 6wks after the birth told us to go back when I was pregnant again. I am scared to go back too soon for fear of what he might say - sorry i am still burying my head in the sand about some things (trying to make some memories go away as it is easier).

    Anyway I am hoping todays results for you are good - to be honest i do not really understand most of what you guys are talking about but I like to hear good things happening to you all so keep up those positive posts!!

    Spring - It is good that you are feeling some movement this early - I did not feel anything even at 25wks. I am so hoping my next pregnancy has a posterior placenta so that the kicks are not masked so much.

    Deb - so sorry to hear about your friend. She is fortunate to have you as her friend to help her though this difficult time.

    Mel - Glad you and DH are talking things though - it can only be a positive thing. I wish my DH would talk to me about his feelings too, he just seems to worry about me and forget about himself and changes the subject when i bring it up. Hopefully it will come with time.

    Bailey - hope you caught the egg this month - if you are DTD often I am sure its just a matter of time. Good luck.

    Well best get back to work - can't spend all my time on BB (unfortunately!).

  9. #63

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    Tess - Thank you for sharing your story with me. Sometimes it is good to get things off your chest, as you write it, perhaps it can make more sense or you can understand it better. I don't know. I guess whenever I say that I lost Cooper to a cord accident, I understand how he passed but don't understand how this happens. I'm not sure if I am making any sense, so I'm sorry. My head is all over the place at the moment. I understand that you are scared of what your ob might say. I was the same but then I got to a point where I just had to know. You just need to do what is best for you.

    Tommysmum - sorry you asked me if I had to go through all of this to conceive Cooper and I never replied. It took 2 years to conceive Cooper including 6 cycles of Clomid (which for me is not 6 months, as you know I have the world's longest cycles!!!) I was never monitored during these 6 cycles (which annoys me now but that was through a different ob who I didn't end up seeing through my pg) We fell pg on the 6th cycle of Clomid which was going to be my last before we went back to my ob and try something else. The weird thing is that the past 4 months have seemed longer than the 2 years. I guess because of the desperation to be pg. I know what it is like to be pg now and I know what it is like to hold my baby.............if only for a while.
    I hope you are well and bubba is growing nicely

    Chelle - have been thinking of you. Take care :hugs:

    Bailey - thanks for my little golden piggy. He is sooooo cute! He is under my pillow with everything else! I'm suprised I can sleep. This little porker better get his butt into gear otherwise he knows where he is going!!!! I won't say it just yet, because I need his help first! LOL!

    Mel - I'm glad you found the S&K helpful especially for DH. Sometimes I think my DH needs to talk to someone perhaps another dad, but he says that he doesn't want to. He is one to bottle things up. Looks like you will be getting busy soon Thanks for everything the other day Talk soon, perhaps tonight if you are free?

    Deb - I hope your friend is doing ok. I have been thinking of her. How are you going? How is your little bean? Are you still having your levels tested?

    Klee - hope you are doing ok. Thinking of you

    Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.

  10. #64

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    Thanks Lynn - I am sorry that it took a long time to conceive with Cooper. It took us 12mths to conceive Thomas - I have PCOS and had one appointment with a fertility specialist 2wks before I found out i was pregnant. I am hoping it will not take so long this time for you (or me).

    My DH is the same where i feel he bottle things up and is so concerned about me that he is not allowing himself the time to grieve. At the moment he is keeping very busy at work and home. He wants to put all his energy into getting our house/garden finished (we are renovating) so that i can have a pregnancy without the paint fumes/stress etc.

    I am sure things will get better - life cannot continue to be crap forever i am sure.
    T.

  11. #65

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    Tess - that is why we are struggling so much because I have PCOS too. It is so frustrating isn't it?!?!?! Yes I agree, life must get better because it can't get any worse. I hope that your TTC journey is short and sweet and you are holding that earth baby in your arms very very soon.

  12. #66

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    The results are in..........................................

    Estrogen is 398 and 2 follies - 15.6 and 14.9.

    The level is going up so that is a good thing, I just wish it wouldn't take so long. I am staying on the same FSH dose of 75 and going back on Saturday for another bt and u/s. Hoping for a miracle

    Does anyone have any tips on reducing the pain of the internal u/s?????

  13. #67

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    Lynn - Yay on those levels!! Maybe cos you were good to the piggy I've never had one of those internal ultrasounds, but if you look at it as a positive step towards having your baby here with you, then maybe that will lesten the pain a little. Good Luck with it all on saturday, I hope the news gets even better.

  14. #68

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    You're getting there LYnn!!!!! It looks like both of those follies will ripen so you get double the chance this month! I know the whole process is frustrating but you ARE getting there. So that has to be a big woo hoo!!!!!!

    As for the pain - I have never experienced pain with an internal ultrasound. Are you getting vaginal pain or is it pelvic? The only advice I can give is that you try to relax as the probe goes in - some nice deep relaxing breaths.

    Soon, you will be telling us you are being triggered and it's action stations at your house!!!
    Thanks for asking how I am - I am fine I think! I am incredibly tired - to the point of exhaustion. Waves of nausea but nothing much which is normal for me. Tingly boobies now and then. Nothing too remarkable - well except for the GAS. Man have I got it bad. Sorry guys! Thank your lucky stars you don't share a bed with me at the moment!!!

    I am off to dinner tonight - my girlfriend who lost her baby and a few other friends. One of our friends is off to Canada for a 12 month stint - we made her a quilt I think I mentioned it a while back. Anyway we are hitting the new Indian restaurant in town.

    I will *see* you all tomorrow...

  15. #69

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    Thanks Deb Yes I am getting there, just very slowly!! Double chance that is great! I told DH tonight that I should start pricing a double pram I never got to use the pram that I bought for Cooper so I want to be able to use that.

    *warning TMI* It is pelvic pain, when they are moving it around and pushing it. It was ok on the right side but when she was trying to do the left it just hurt so much. She said that it may be tender because of the follies.

    That is great that you are feeling good (except for the gas!!!!) I hope that improves soon! If not for you, for your families sake!! LOL!

    I hope your friend is doing ok. I'm sure with you around her she is gaining strength. Enjoy your dinner and I'm sure the quilt looks beautiful!

  16. #70

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    Lynn - the two internal u/s I have had both were painful in the pelvic region. The nurse got me to move slightly and it relieved the pressure - maybe you could do that??

    How long are your cycles normally?


    Flowerchild - glad to hear your symptoms aren't too bad - except for the gas (very funny!!) Hope you have a nice time at the indian restaurant tonight - I am definitely glad I am not at your house tonight after that.

    T.

  17. #71

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    Lynn: That is great news about the levels and even better news about the follies. Good on you Hope About the ultrasounds, the internal ones I have had have never hurt, not the most plesant experience, but not painful. I wouldn't be surprised if everything is a little more sensitve due to all the pills you are on. I hope Saturday's scan brings more great news and isn't too painful.

    Bailey: Thanks for the advice about the movement. I know, I know but I just feel really down about the irregularity of movement. I just am driving myself nuts. With the OPKs, just keep using them, but the sounds of it, you and DH are DTD enough to catch that eggie.

    Tess: Reading your story about the birth of Thomas just broke my heart. I am so sorry babe, sending big :hugs: your way.

    Deb: Bad gas and Indian, nevermind you hubby, watch out Deb's neighbours (lol)

    Well, today I have just reached my limit. I sort of lost the plot before on the way home from work, I couldn't stop crying and called DH and he did a wonderful job of calming me down. I guess up until now, when I couldn't feel Lil' Spring I didn't have to worry, now that I can feel bub, I am finding that my anxiety is just skyrocketing because every minute of every day I am on tenderhooks wondering when the next movement will be. I also went and picked up the bracelet that my Mum got me for Mother's Day, I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back. It just hurts so bad, I am dreading this Sunday so much that I think I am getting myself all worked up.

    Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

    Sorry for the lack of personals, I promise to write more tomorrow.

    Big love to all.

    Spring

  18. #72

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    Hi everybody!

    Lynn - I am so excited! Go Hope! It must have been the piggy. I hope he works for me too.

    Spring - I know it so easy for us to sit and tell you not to worry. I can only imagine how stressfull it is for you just waiting for the movements. Cheeky Lil Spring. We have spoken about the 'feeling' before, so just try to sit somewhere quiet and listen to that voice. Trust yourself.

    Flowerchild - I's so Sorry to hear about your friend. It is so sad.

    Mel - How are you doing today?? I hope that you are too busy doin the deed to come in and see us

    Hi to everyone else, I hope everyone is ok.

    I don't have anything much to report. OPK'd still negative on day 23. No CM to speak of and temps doing nothing, so I am still unsure of what is going on. Suppose I will just keep BDing and hoping to fluke it.

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