Is this rude ? ... Wedding ... Couple asking for money as a gift !!

[Aimz]

I was about to start a thread for something similar to this.

I have to say that I am not very impressed with a couple we know.

Their wedding invitation contained a little card which asked for a donation to their wishing well in the place of a gift. That part is fine - I have seen this many times. We won't be giving them money though - as I think it is a little rude and I have instead asked them if there is anything they would like as I would prefer not to give cash.

BUT...... I got an invitation to the Bride's hens night the other day and get this... She is having a ****tail party and on the invitation the wording said...

"You are required to bring: A bottle of Strawberry Liquer"

WTF????????????

I SMS'd her and asked if it would be ok if I just BYO as I'm not a fan of ****tails (they trigger my migraines) and that I would prefer to just sip on my JD and coke like I always do. She wrote back asking what she had "designated" me to bring.

Am I just old fashioned or are the words "required" and "designated" just down right rude when it comes to gifts?

[briggsy's girl]

we've had ****tail nights in the past where we've asked people to put in money towards the alcohol so that there isn't a huge expense on the person organising. i know a lot of people do it as each person brings a specific bottle of alcohol instead. i don't think it's rude to ask people to chip in, but i think the way this person has gone about it is probably not particularly polite.

we worded the invites in a way that said we'd be asking people to chip in, and to contact us. there was no issue with anyone as we worded it in such a way that it wasn't a demand, it was a request. we had one person decide they weren't going to drink ****tails, so they were asked to BYO. we had the drink that they would drink here, but if they weren't contributing to the ****tails the same as everyone else, there was no way we should be supplying alcohol for them.

[~clover~]

We had a ****tail night for my hens night & I asked everyone to either bring a bottle of something to mix, or what ever they prefer. I ended up with 4 bottles of Blue Curocao(sp?), 2 bottles of Malibu, Tequila, Vodka, Sambucca - YUK! - Plus everyone bought something for themselves as well.
I think we all thought the Blue was exotic & different!

We also asked for money at our wedding. We had lived together for 6 years & already had the girls. We wouldn't have asked for anything, but people kept asking what to give us. Thats when we decided on the Wishing Well idea.

We had a Chest instead though. Our cake table had a guest sign book, the chest & a photo album to sign all with the chest. Plus we left a pen, paper & envelopes there as well.
I had a few people just leave a little message. Most of them put the money in with the card. They'd sign the book & add the card to the chest if they wanted.

I also had a gift table at the other side of the Bridal table.

We got any where from $30 to $100. Mostly $50.
Our money paid for our Honey Moon.

[Aimz]

I think that if she had asked for people to chip in for the alcohol then that would have been fine - I probably still would have BYO as I don't drink ****tails. But it was the fact that she used the word "required" and then specified what I needed to bring - almost like I didn't have a choice in the matter. That is what I found offputting. She has even asked one of our friends, who is 27 weeks pregnant, to bring the Midori!! I just think the invitation was worded very badly. I have no intention of drinking any of the alcohol except for my own - and I am happier to spend my money on something I will actually drink than something that I won't even touch.

I hope I don't end up drinking too much... I might accidently let slip how I feel!