15 Great Ways To Support Her During Pregnancy

15 Great Ways To Support Her During Pregnancy

It’s fair to say that women do most of the work when it comes to pregnancy. After all, your baby has set up camp in your partner’s uterus, so she is the one who will be peeing every twenty minutes, struggling to get comfy at night, and giving birth. Your lack of uterus puts you on the bench, but you can still be a team player when it comes to pregnancy. You are charged with the vital role of providing support, being a shoulder to cry on and, of course, getting the snacks.

As your partner battles her way through morning sickness, fatigue and the job of relearning her centre of gravity so as not to fall over, you can help out by:

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #1: Help Without Being Asked

Pregnancy takes its toll on her energy levels, and you may find that your partner is falling asleep as soon as she gets home from work. Simply put, she just doesn’t have as many hours in her day now that she’s pregnant – growing a baby is exhausting. There are lots of ways you can help her out, and the best place to start is around the home. Take on a few extra chores so that your partner can get some much-needed sleep without the house falling into disarray.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #2: New Her, New You

Your partner has probably had to make a few lifestyle changes since finding out she was pregnant. She may have given up smoking, stopped drinking alcohol, switched to a healthier diet and started doing more regular exercise. Help her out by making these changes too. If you smoke, now is the perfect time to quit (read our helpful article here), and you will have the added benefit of providing a smoke-free home when your baby makes an appearance. Not just second hand smoke, but third hand smoke is now being identified as a risk factor for babies and children. Reduce the amount of alcohol you drink (consider becoming a ‘Pledge Dad’ via Pregnant Pause), join your partner on her healthy eating mission, and start going for long walks together.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #3: Get Informed

Knowledge is power, and the best way to get clued up is to do your research. Read books, look online, and speak to your dad friends about pregnancy, birth and beyond. Find out what to expect, and get advice from the people you trust about how to be a great birth partner and father. BellyBelly has a range of helpful articles on books to read and everything you need to know about pregnancy, birth and parenting.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #4: Be There

The best way to support your partner during pregnancy, is to be there – and not only be there, but be emotionally present with her.

Go with her to as many antenatal checkups as you can, and make sure you are there for the ultrasound scans. Go with her to all of her antenatal classes, breastfeeding support classes, and anything else she decides to do to prepare for the birth of your baby. You will find that you get as much benefit from these classes as she does, and may even make some new friends to see you through those first few months of sleepless nights.

Make time each week to sit and be present with your partner and your baby. Talk with your baby together. Feel your baby in her belly. Read a baby development book or website together to see what your baby has grown this week and share the wonder, joy and excitement of that. It’s a great way for you to feel more connected to the pregnancy journey and a gateway to your partner seeing how you’re becoming a dad and a family man – she needs to know you’re there now and going to love this baby and her as a mum when you get there.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #5: Tell Her She’s Beautiful

Many women find it difficult to cope with the changes to their body during pregnancy. She may be worried about stretch marks, concerned about weight gain, or just be feeling not much like her old self. Tell her when she looks great, compliment her on her bump, and make sure she knows just how much you love her.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #6: Learn To Love The Pillows

You may have noticed that as your partner’s bump grows, so too do the number of pillows in your bed. Your once roomy bed is now cripplingly small, and you may find yourself teetering on the edge most nights and you battle against a makeshift wall of hollow fibre comfort. It may seem personal, but it’s not. Your partner is likely to be suffering from aches and pains in places she didn’t even know existed, and the pillows are vital in allowing her to get some sleep. Yes, all 57 of them. If you really want to win her over, treat her to a maternity pillow.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #7: Run Her A Bath

It’s important that your partner gets some time each day to relax, and focus on herself and the pregnancy. If she’s suffering from aches and pains, and is struggling to fall asleep at night, she may benefit from a soak in the tub at the end of the day. Invest in some sweet-smelling bubble bath, light some candles and run a bath for your partner so she can have some peace at the end of a long day. Do this often, daily if necessary. And while she’s in there, take some time to relax yourself, it’s important to make sure you are feeling cared for as well.

A nice warm bath can also help wash away all the stresses of the day, at a time when stress reduction is very important. Here are 10 tips that also help her with stress in pregnancy.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #8: Give Massages (Lots!)

Whether it’s foot rubs, lower back rubs or all over body massages she wants, now is the time to hone your skills. Use massage oil and treat your partner to a relaxing massage to ease her aching body as it adjusts to pregnancy. Massage is a great skill to have, because not only will it put you firmly in the running for “Lover Of The Year”, it will also be a tool you can use during labour to help your partner between contractions (if she feels like it – some women don’t). And, as an added bonus, you might feel more confident about giving baby massage a try in the not so distant future.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #9: Be Understanding

Sometimes, pregnancy sucks. She might be feeling too nauseous to eat the meal you’ve cooked, too tired to go to that party, or too desperate for the bathroom to stop crying on the motorway. As her hormones wreak havoc on her body and mind, you may find that she gets upset about inconsequential things. Give her a break. Pregnancy has its fair share of ups and downs, but you can make it much easier by cutting her a little slack.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #10: Listen

It may sometimes feel like all your partner does these days is talk about the pregnancy. Well, that’s probably because it’s happening in her body every minute of the day. Whereas the pregnancy may occasionally slip your mind, she is carting around a very real reminder with her at all times. She may be finding the pregnancy tough, feeling worried about the birth, or having a confidence crisis about her mother abilities – or maybe all three. Be a shoulder for her to cry on, listen to all of her concerns, and offer her the reassurance and support she really needs.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #11: Talk About It

Listening is great, but talking and sharing your own feelings an experiences is just as important. You will have a whole set of worries of your own, and might be dealing with some conflicting emotions about the pregnancy and fatherhood. That’s ok, it’s normal, and it will help you both if you are honest about your feelings. You may find that she is worried about a lot of the same things, and that you can support each other through any concerns.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #12: Prioritise Her

The relationship a pregnant woman has with her partner is very important. A large study in Scandinavia recently identified that the single biggest factor in antenatal anxiety was a woman’s relationship with her partner, and there’s also a big link between mood disorders antenatally and postnatally.

Life can get busy sometimes. There are only so many hours in each day, and yet so much to be packed in. There are work demands, social activities, family to see, and a relationship to nurture. It can be pretty exhausting, and you may at times wonder whether you are neglecting certain areas of your life. Make sure that you are prioritising your relationship throughout the pregnancy. Make time for her, make the effort, and check in to find out how she’s doing.

Find out more about preventing postnatal depression which is so valuable to know before your baby arrives.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #13: Create Some Memories

You will soon be a family of three, and though you will find that life becomes more wonderful and rich than ever before, it’s true to say that it will never be the same again. The lazy mornings in bed, the carefree nights out, and the impromptu weekends away will be scarce, at least for a few years. Now is the perfect time to create some special memories together. Take a trip away, spend a weekend lounging in bed, and head off into the countryside for walks. Do whatever you want, just make sure you do it together.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #14: Be The Birth Partner Of Her Dreams

Talk to your partner about the birth, and find out her wishes. Make sure she knows you will be her advocate in the delivery room. Support her birth choices, and do your own research so you can help her on the day. Plan your route to the hospital, and make sure you have change to pay for parking. Pack snacks, make sure your camera is fully charged, and keep your phone with you at all times. Make sure she can always reach you, and that she knows you have this whole birth partner thing fully under control.

You might like to read our birth support guide for partners here.

Ways To Support Your Partner During Pregnancy #15: Look After Her

After the birth, your partner will need time to recover. She will be exhausted, sore and hormonal, and will be relying on you for support. Help with the baby, and do as many nappy changes as you can. If she’s breastfeeding, make sure that she feels supported, and seek help for her if she is struggling. Cook meals, help your partner get some sleep, and make sure she knows just how much you love her.

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  1. Thank you for all the advices there above i will be with my wife all the time and i will make sure i m there whenever she need me and i will make sure she takes extra comfort after giving birth to a baby

  2. This is really helpful. Most especially keeping my phone always reachable for my wife. my love really like hearing my voice every time I am away from her. So I will take this advise seriously.

  3. ‘Real men’? What does that even mean? Some men are not able to do this because they are not as capable as others in these areas or as emotionally available. If you are a man who struggles with anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, bipolar ….. mean that you are not a real man? No it does not. Most of these barriers to supporting your partner go undiagnosed, especially among men in the UK where mental health is poorly funded and stigmatised. Men can appear selfish, cowardly, moody, indifferent or unsympathetic when actually they may be feeling quite the opposite.

    If you have a partner who is not able to do all of these then do not worry, do not think yourself or your partner less worthy or not normal. You may have to do the lion’s share of organising and you may have to reach out to a wider support network to get all the help and reassurance you need. That is ok and every relationship is different.

    Most of our anxieties are from societal expectations and our perceptions of what ‘normal’ is. This one size fit all list should be taken with a pinch of salt and used as suggestions. Putting stress on your partner or yourself through unrealistic expectations is just going to make your pregnancy miserable and push your partner away.

    1. if your emotionally unavailable should you be even considering bringing a child into the world. I have depression, I have anxiety but that does not stop me from caring about the girl I love having our baby and to share the rest of our lives together. if you struggle to be there for your girlfriend/wife how are you going to be available for your child??

  4. Even if my husband attempted to achieve SOME of these, it would be amazing! I have never felt as alone and unsupported, not important enough…

    1. Yeah I’m kinda feeling like that myself . Don’t know if it’s me being hormonal / but ya I feel kinda alone in this …

      1. You are important and you matter, your husband may just not know how to cope or be “in tune ” with his emotions I’m sure he shows you how much he loves you in other ways or maybe subtle versions of these suggestions…. regardless this will just make u a stronger momma!!! Xoxo

  5. A real man would stop at nothing to put himself last and his partner first. A real man wouldn’t think twice about making his partner as happy, loved and as comfortable as possible regardless of his level of exhaustion from work and life in general.

    Why you ask?

    Because she is his world, the love of his life and he wants her to know that she is the most amazing thing that this universe has ever provided and for some reason she chose him and he will always be eternally grateful.

    Also because she will be going through an amount of physical pain that….A REAL MAN COULD NEVER HANDLE, and for that you’re also very grateful.

  6. I struggle with anxiety, depression and still these things are easy to accomplish. If you truly love the individual you are with and invested in her struggle with the entire process, you will make these changes no worry. Or better yet, just be a real man and get around those disabilities and not make excuses as to why you cant. If you can get her knocked up then you can do these little things.

  7. I totally agree with Wes

    My bf is so supportive and caring its like nothing changed between us he’s always touching my belly asking if i slept okay, i would wake him up at 2 a.m and tell him that im hungry he’ll go fix something for me or get me something from the filling station or McDonald’s without complaints

    Ive just graduated my Diploma and now doing my Degree hes doing an internship doesnt pay a lot but he is really sweet its definitely not about money he tells me everyday that he loves me and im beautiful. At 1st when i told him i was pregnant he was on my nerves telling me he’s scared and didn’t want a baby so i made it clear to him that he can leave cause im keeping this baby regardless

    Im now 6 weeks and happy.
    He used to go out with his pals somtimes but now we are always out bowling, Movies and doing all the fun stuff together. And he always puts my feelings first now his friends are always complaining that he has changed.

    Im 20 and he’s 25 we’ve been together for almost 3 years now and our future still shines, I couldn’t be any happier. Now that im pregnant i can’t help it my Hormones are way up and funny how he ignores me every time i start a fight he will go outside and tell me to call him when im done picking fights and always asking why do i hate him this much

    But i love him so much. Older man who are not supporting their woman are silly cowards who are inconsiderate

  8. HI this is my second child an my husband doesn’t attend none of my appointments, He only attend on which was to find out the sex of the baby, from day one I have been dealing with my pregnancy on my own. I still do everything myself my 7 year helps me out more than he does. also I just don’t understand by are man act like they don’t want to be involved when their partner is having a baby thy just seem distanced . just feel like im alone during this time. I have spoke to him about this and all nothing has changed an I have 4 more month to go

  9. My story goes a little more far than what I’m going to ask. This is my 3rd pregnancy. 2 were terminations due to high risk pregnancy and recommended by the doctor. The last one were twins and it took a big toll on us. This pregnancy has been rough, most of all I feel the father of my child is disconnected from the pregnancy. I want to know from a mans perspective if what I’m asking is wrong.
    1. Be there for all the appointments. Even the unexpected ones because you never know what can happen in a pregnancy.
    2. Be emotionally there for me.
    – his way of showing me he cares is asking me how my day went, how I’m feeling, getting up to get something for me if I need it and taking me out to eat.
    3. Understanding my hormones.

    Am I asking for too much?

    1. No I don’t think you’re asking too much at all. You’re having a child and going through a tough time. I would say that understanding your hormones might be more difficult as some humans just don’t get empathy or sympathy. It’s not personal but they don’t always see what something means to someone else. Perhaps sit him down and talk to him, ask him but more importantly, ask him what he wants. I know that might sound mental but he might have worries, concerns and things on his mind. Sadly with all things in life, there are times where people get overlooked and more often than not, during pregnancy it is all about the woman. It’s nice as a man to actually be asked how it is I feel and what concerns I have. Basically it boils down to one thing, communication. Life is so much easier when we communicate.

      I hope it all goes well for you.

  10. Fantastic advice although most are obvious and a man should carry them out even if a baby isn’t on the way! The advice on a maternity pillow slipped my mind so I’ve added that to the list. As for the comments about men that suffer depression or anxiety, join the club. Unfortunately I have always been an overthinker and I believe I suffer from dyspraxia, or have traits that lend themselves to it. However it is no excuse to be a better man and a better human. Sometimes putting yourself out there for the person you love and focussing your mind on her, is often a great way to deal with life’s other issues.

    If any women read this comment, please pass on suggestions for me that this artical might miss out. This is our first potential baby and it has come very early in our relationship. However, with previous medical issues that predicted that my girlfriend may never be able to have children and that we are both in our mid 30’s, what we have has blossomed into something very special, so we have decided to keep the child and go the course.

    Any advice would be amazing.

    Thank you.

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