With a new baby in the house, it can be difficult to squeeze in some time to connect like you used to.
In order for your relationship to thrive, it’s so important to make time for each other every day.
A new mother spends her whole day nurturing someone who is completely dependent on her.
This can be a very rewarding thing to do, absolutely.
But it often creates such intense demands for time, emotion and energy that she is left feeling empty by the end of the day. This is especially true when trying to function on broken sleep.
As her partner, you can offer some regular nurturing to help her feel loved, appreciated, and supported. A little nurturing fills her up again, so she can keep giving – to you and your baby.
9 Quick Ways To Nurture A New Mama
With that in mind, here are 9 suggestions, in no particular order, which require 30 minutes or less, and will help any mother (new or not) to feel special, nurtured, and loved up.
Bear in mind that every woman is unique and will equate the feeling of being loved and nurtured with different things. So ask her what nurtures her the most. Find out what she’d like most of all, and whether you’re giving it to her in a way she wants or needs.
The key is to keep communicating, and go with whatever works for you, your partner, and your relationship.
Don’t worry, there’s something in it for you too!
The benefit for you in all this is that if a woman feels you’re taking care of her in this way, she’ll feel more connected, open, trusting, loving, and feminine.
Women naturally want to give back, and while it may not be immediately reciprocated due to the intense demands of early motherhood, she will take note of all the little things you’re doing and have done.
When things aren’t so crazy, I am sure she will want to lavish her love and appreciation on you in return!
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #1: Brush Her Hair
I don’t know many women who don’t love having their hair brushed. When you have a quiet moment while baby is sleeping, have her sit in front of you, so you can brush her hair for a little while.
You can get creative here, by putting on her favourite T.V. show, or lighting some candles – anything you like. She’ll feel soothed and relaxed, and close to you too – with little effort required.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #2: Moisturise Her Skin
Mams are so time poor that they often miss out on doing the little things they used to do for themselves.
Skin dries out quickly, and it’s one of the things busy mothers often ignore, preferring to get other things done first.
Something as simple as moisturising her skin has a double bonus; she’ll appreciate you helping her have soft, moisturised skin, and you’ll also get to give her your loving touch.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #3: Give Her A Foot Massage
Everyone loves a good foot massage – especially a mother who has been up and down on her feet all day.
Settling and soothing a baby might mean jiggling, pacing the floor, walking bub in the pram, and wearing baby – and feet get tired very quickly some days.
Massaging her feet is a great way to connect with her through touch, and something you can do face to face, while you chat about the day.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #4: Cook Her A Nutritious Meal
Healthy eating tends to go out the window when there’s a new baby in the house. Quick and easy tends to be the norm. It might solve the time problem, but it often means poor nutrition, which can leave everyone feeling even more tired and grumpy.
But healthy can be quick too! Whether it’s for lunch or dinner, a nutritious meal will help her feel better.
Avoid meals with sugars and processed grains (breads, pasta, cereals etc.), which are inflammatory and lead to spikes in blood sugar levels. Instant energy is great, but the crash afterwards – not so much. And it only makes you crave more junk to keep the rollercoaster going.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #5: Run a Bath For Her
There are few things in life as wonderful as taking a bath. It is a simple pleasure, but one not to be underestimated.
Run her a nice, warm bubble bath. Light some candles, lay out some towels, and leave a magazine for her to read if she wants to.
Then take the baby and enjoy some daddy-baby bonding time while your partner relaxes in the tub. Epsom or magnesium salts added to the bath will help to ease sore muscles and encourage relaxation.
Take a look at this article for bath soak recipes that will make her bath extra special.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #6: Neck and Shoulder Massages
She’s busy all day looking after your baby and that means lots of bending, lifting, and carrying.
Baby is getting bigger (and heavier) by the day and that can take a toll on her body. When you add the fact that she isn’t getting much sleep, and that her body is still recovering from pregnancy … well, it’s not hard to see why a massage would go down well.
If you use a cream that contains magnesium, it will add a little extra relief for those aches, pains, and cramps. It’s important to keep up the body’s magnesium levels, and this is a great way of doing it.
You don’t need a full evening to yourself; just a quick five or ten minute neck and shoulder massage in the evening will help her to feel more relaxed, nurtured and loved.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #7: Paint Her Toenails
You probably mastered this skill while she was pregnant, so put it to good use. That huge bump has finally gone. She can reach her toenails now, but there’s a baby in her arms 24/7 so she can’t find the time to paint them.
While she’s busy feeding the baby, you can get busy too. They don’t have to be perfect; she’ll love them anyway because it’s something you did for her, to make her feel loved.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #8: Buy Her A Facemask
She might not be ready to leave the baby just yet, but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy being pampered.
If she can’t go to the spa, you’ll have to bring the spa to her.
Pick out a facemask for her – preferably a nice relaxing one. If you like, you could pick out some other little luxuries for her too: a lovely moisturiser, a new flannel, just a few treats for her to use when she washes her face.
With a new baby to care for, your partner is probably struggling to find the time to do her hair and makeup each morning.
A new facial routine could help her to feel beautiful even when she’s too busy being a mother to look perfect.
Lovin’ Up Mama Idea #9: Give Her Time To Read
Books can transport you to another place or time. And nothing recharges the batteries quite like a little bit of escapism.
New mothers find it almost impossible to find the time to read. To help your partner feel nurtured, and to provide her with a little mental stimulation (not that changing nappies isn’t stimulating), give her some time to read.
Carve out a slice of time for her so she can finally finish that book she started during pregnancy, or that new best seller she’s had her eye on.
Article includes contributions by Fiona Peacock.