Ever wondered why they say ‘sleeping like a baby’ rather than ‘sleeping like a new parent’? Hmm, didn’t think so.
One of the biggest shocks for new parents is the total lack of sleep. During pregnancy, you think it will be the poo or the crying that breaks you, but more often than not, it’s the bone-crushing exhaustion of those early days (read: years). It’s not sleep deprivation, it’s sleep torture.
By the time your little darling blows out the solitary candle on his or her first birthday cake, you may have missed out on as much as two months’ worth of sleep. Two. Months. Sleep. That’s a lot of sleep.
So it’s no wonder you can be found with your head slumped into your breakfast most mornings before that all important coffee drip kicks in.
If you are fully fledged, sleep deprived new parent, see our list below, and see what you score out of 50. Do you have others to add? Make sure you include them in the comments section, below the article.
50 Signs That You’re Truly Sleep Deprived New Parent
Here are 50 signs that you might just be one of those sleep deprived new parents you often hear about:
Sign #1: You have given up on yawning, it takes too much energy. Instead you simply walk around with your mouth in a constant state of openness because it’s just too much work to keep it closed.
Sign #2: You have no idea what day it is.
Sign #3: Or what month it is.
Sign #4: Or who you are.
Sign #5: When speaking to strangers, you laugh at about 80 percent of what they say and hope that was appropriate because you have absolutely no idea what they just said to you.
Sign #6: You don’t have a phone because it broke when you threw it at the wall last time a nuisance call disturbed your sleeping baby.
Sign #7: Your entire front door is covered in bubble wrap to stop the postman making the same mistake.
Sign #8: And you are collecting egg cartons so you can attempt to soundproof the baby’s room.
Sign #9: No matter how big the doorway you’re trying to walk through is, you are guaranteed to stumble into the wall next to it. And you have the leg bruises to prove it.
Sign #10: You have totally and utterly forgotten your own phone number. That information has gone forever.
