7 Reasons Why I Can’t Be Mama Today

7 Reasons Why I Can’t Be Mama Today

I love being a mama.

I love the cuddles and I love seeing the joy on my children’s faces over the littlest things.

There are actually so many things I love being about a mama I can’t count them.

As much as I love being a mama, there are days when I’m over it.

7 Reasons Why I Can’t Be Mama Today

I’m not over my children. I’m not over the joy. But some days I just can’t be mama anymore.

I can’t hear my name shouted one more time. I can’t find the energy to help my toddler find matching socks. I can’t prepare another healthy, balanced meal or drag everyone from one activity to another.

Most days, I’ve got motherhood down. But today, I can’t be mama and here’s why:

#1: The Rules. So. Many. Rules

Before you have a toddler, you think you can make up a list of basic rules. No food out of the dining area. No hitting. Use kind words.

And then the list gets longer. No, you can’t have ice cream for breakfast. No, you can’t jump off the table. You need to eat at least a few bites of your vegetables.

Well today, I can’t do the rules. Ice cream is milk. Milk is definitely appropriate for breakfast. So, if you see my toddler eating ice cream for breakfast, you know today I just couldn’t do rules.

#2: I’m Drowning…In Laundry

Some weeks, I’m on top of it. Other times, the days I couldn’t be mama, the children grab wrinkled clothes from the giant clean laundry pile I’m drowning in.

They got to school, and that’s what really matters, right?

Laundry isn’t really that hard. It’s just never ends! That never-ending pile wears you down. It’s like a taunting reminder that you weren’t quite mama enough today (which isn’t even remotely true, but nonetheless, it taunts you).

#3: I Can’t Remember The Last Time I Slept Through The Night

I love those midnight cuddles. I enjoy the benefits of co-sleeping. But I think we can all agree that nothing is as great as sleeping through the night.

Sure, those fatigue filled leap weeks are spaced out. But add in your preschooler’s nightmares, staying up to finish cupcakes for the school bake sale, and last year’s pregnancy insomnia – and who knows the last time I slept through the night.

Most days, I’m fine. But today? I’m too tired to be mama.

#4: My Kids’ Social Calendar Is Packed

I want my kids to stay busy, have fun and become well-rounded. Piano lessons? Check. Accept every birthday party invite? Check. Go to the zoo, museum, science camp and baseball practice? Yup, check there too.

Never mind that our parents didn’t schedule us nearly as much and we’re okay. Somehow, we’ve bought into the idea that our children must do everything.

Some days, I have balance. Other days, I worry they’ll miss out on an important opportunity for personal growth. I’ll fill their schedule, and then the next day? Well, I’m just too tired. Too tired to deal with a busy social calendar.

And you know what? The kids have no problem just running outside or riding their bikes. Of course, I’ll still accept the next invite and get myself exhausted all over again.

#5: The Social Media Comparisons

Look, we all know even the most together Pinterest board is just that – a board. That mama doesn’t have it together any more than you do.

And yet, we still compare. It’s nearly impossible not to. You can’t bring in plain vanilla cupcakes to the class Easter party. Not when Sally’s mother posted cupcakes arranged and decorated like the Easter bunny on Facebook.

Most days, I remember it’s silly to compare. But some days, I compare. And then, it makes me tired. Too tired to “compete”, and then too tired to be mama.

I need to go read Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself To Other Mothers before I completely give up on being mama today…

#6: We’re Running Late, Again, And It’s Too Defeating

Nothing sets you up for a hard day like running late from the moment you wake up. It doesn’t matter how much you plan, some days, you just can’t get it together. Why? Because kids.

You can’t control the newly made strawberry jam stain on your preschooler’s shirt that means changing thirty seconds before you need to be on your way.

You can’t control the newborn diaper blowout as you buckle them into their car seat. And so, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you’re late.

Nothing makes me want to give up on the day quite like giving it my all and still being late.

#7: The Food Rules. Why Are There So Many Food Rules?

I want my children to be as healthy as possible, just like every mama. But all the nutrition guidelines, which really feel like rules, they can be exhausting!

Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve probably heard that everything our parents were told about nutrition, well it was all wrong. Everything we ate growing up? Poison. All that milk we drank? Unnecessary. The food pyramid? Wrong.

When you know better, you do better, right? The only problem is now, I think we “know” too much. Gone are the days of just throwing together a ham and cheese sandwich and calling it a proper packed lunch. Is the bread wholegrain? Is that ham organic? Were the cows who produced the milk for the cheese only grass-fed?

Physically feeding your children isn’t that hard. But the mental toll of living in the age of information mixed with loads of commercial junk, well it’s exhausting! Some days I care, I try. Other days, the kids get a bag of chips and fluffy white bread because my mama brain is too tired to try!

Being a mama is awesome. Some days I can mama like a pro. But today? Today I’m tired. Today we’ll just survive.

I’ll remind my exhausted self that I’m more than mama enough, and I’ll start fresh tomorrow.

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Maria Silver Pyanov is a mama of four energetic boys and one unique little girl. She is also a doula and childbirth educator. She's an advocate for birth options, and adequate prenatal care and support. She believes in the importance of rebuilding the village so no parent feels unsupported.

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