Exhausted Mothers, You Are Enough

Exhausted Mothers, You Are Enough

Motherhood is one of the most challenging jobs out there.

It has many rewards, of course, but oh it is exhausting!

We all know that feeling, pure exhaustion.

The type that feels like you’ve hit a wall you can’t climb, but also knowing you have no choice but to find a way to climb it.

Exhausted Mothers, You Are Enough

We have those moments where we feel we aren’t good enough. If we had it more together, if we knew what we were doing – we wouldn’t be so exhausted, right? Wrong.

We’re doing the best we can. We give it our all. We want what’s best for our children, but without completely losing ourselves.

We struggle to find that balance between being mama enough, but also finding time to fill our own cups.

Why Is Motherhood So Exhausting?

There’s one song that has absolutely nothing to do with motherhood, and yet I’ve never heard a phrase that better described it.

“Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard,” words from Coldplay’s The Scientist, sums up how we enter motherhood.

No one ever said motherhood was easy. At the same time, no one could really prepare us for how hard it can be at times.

Before we had children, no one could explain just how strong the love we’d have for our children. The kind of love that makes us strive to raise them perfectly. The kind that wants to protect them from everything.

No one could really prepare us for the mixed feelings of pure love, but also genuine frustration from unsettled cries at 2am.

You can’t understand that feeling of the weight of the world on your shoulders when you look at your calendar and wonder how you’ll fit everything in while also really showing your children you love them.

Now, as mothers, we get it. We know that exhaustion. We know the joy, but we know that exhaustion.

It’s no wonder then, why a beautiful post addressed to every exhausted mother written by Bethany Jacobs went viral. It resonated with every mother that’s ever felt like she wasn’t enough, like she didn’t have it together.

How Can I Be Enough?

Bethany Jacobs wrote the following deep and truthful words reminding every exhausted mother that she’s enough.

She wrote:

To the mom hiding in her bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..

To the mom who is so tired she feel likes she can’t function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs…

To the mom sitting in her car, alone, stuffing food in her face because she doesn’t want anyone else to see or know she eats that stuff…

To the mom crying on the couch after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…

To the mom that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…

To the mom that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…

To the mom that is calling out for pizza again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…

To the mom that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd…

You are enough.

You are important.

You are worthy.

This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.

In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it’s hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don’t always talk about it, but it’s hard and it’s not just you.

You are enough.

You are doing your best.

Those little eyes that look up at you – they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.

Those little hands that reach out to hold you – they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.

Those little mouths eating the food you gave them – they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.

Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours – they don’t want anything more. They just want you. Because you are enough. You are more than enough, mama. You. Are. Amazing.

– Bethany Jacobs Latched and Attached

What Can I Do When I’m Too Exhausted?

For many of us, those words are a much needed and beautiful reminder that we are enough. That we are all our children need.

But what if knowing you’re enough isn’t enough to get you over your current wall of exhaustion? What can you do when you’re overwhelmed?

Here are five things to try when you’re exhausted:

  1. Find time to do something for yourself. It should be something that leaves you feeling recharged, like time for reading or a soak in the tub, and not going out to buy groceries.
  2. Sometimes unrealistic or unnecessary tasks and goals are the reason we’re exhausted. Re-evaluate your day, you might be making your job unnecessarily harder. Be sure to read 10 Things Parents Should Stop Doing Today.
  3. If you have a chronic illness, please take care of yourself! And most importantly, don’t allow guilt about your own health to add unnecessary stress. Learn more about coping by reading Parenting With A Chronic Illness – 10 Tips To Help.
  4. Check your nutrition. It can be a catch-22. You’re so busy and tired from motherhood, you have little time to eat well. At the same time, some of your lack of energy can be from inadequate nutrition. Do your best to find ways to get proper nutrition.
  5. If you’re facing a crisis, dealing with postnatal depression, parenting a child with special needs, or just plain overwhelmed, ask for help. We all need a village, we all need support. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are more than enough, but no one needs to do this alone.
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Maria Silver Pyanov is a mama of four energetic boys and one unique little girl. She is also a doula and childbirth educator. She's an advocate for birth options, and adequate prenatal care and support. She believes in the importance of rebuilding the village so no parent feels unsupported.

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