Cyberbullying is becoming increasingly common. As young people spend more time online, cyberbullying incidents are likely to increase. Unfortunately, as with adult trolls, the anonymity provided by the Internet can bring out the worst in some people.

Keep reading to discover what constitutes cyberbullying and our 10 tips to stop cyberbullying.

Around a third of all young people aged between 12 and 17 have been victims of cyberbullying in the US. In Australia, 44% of young people report having had a negative experience online in the past six months. In addition, 15% of respondents had received online threats or abuse during the same period.

You can read more about cyberbullying statistics here: ESafety Commissioner – Cyberbullying

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is any bullying or unkind behavior that utilizes digital technologies. It can take place via text messages, social media apps, email, online gaming platforms and other places online.

Examples of cyberbullying:

Sending nasty messages
Hacking into somebody’s accounts
Being mean to someone in an online game
Spreading rumors about someone online
Harassing somebody online
Posting private or embarrassing photos of somebody online
Creating fake social media accounts to make fun of somebody
Sharing private messages received online with other people.

Cyberbullying can be an extension of regular in-person bullying – for example, receiving nasty messages from the school bully over the weekend. Or it can be a standalone incident, such as threats from a stranger during an online game.

What are the signs of cyberbullying?

Your children might not tell you when they are being bullied online. If they’re using platforms you’ve explicitly banned them from, they might feel unable to tell you. In addition, many victims blame themselves for the bullying, which can deter them from speaking up.

Here are some signs to look out for if you think your child might be a victim of bullying online:

Your child seems upset when online
Your child closes the laptop or locks the phone when anyone approaches
Your child seems anxious or depressed
Your child seems reluctant to go to school or do activities she previously enjoyed
Your child deletes social media accounts
Your child isn’t doing as well in school.

As a parent, you know when something isn’t right. If you think something is wrong, try to open a dialogue and let your child know you’re there if she needs you.

Keep communication lines open

One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to be your child’s safe space. When you give your children access to technology, you need to discuss the very real risks of online bullying.

Your children need to know which behaviors are not ok. They also need to be able to talk to you about problems they are having online. Make sure your children know you will always try to help them and listen to them, no matter what.

How to stop cyberbullying

It is heartbreaking to discover your child is a victim of bullying, whether online or in person. Seeing your child in emotional pain or distress is awful and will most likely leave you furious and heartbroken.

Firstly, if your child has opened up about being the victim of online abuse, you are in a good position. Many children keep bullying an online secret. Now that your child has opened up, how can you help?

Firstly, take your time. You do not need to rush into any action. It’s better to carefully consider your options and slowly decide what to do next. If your child is a victim of cyberbullying, you should:

1. Emphasize the importance of not retaliating

Discourage your child from getting into an online battle with the bully. It won’t help and could make matters worse. Instead, focus on the things your child can do.

2. Save the evidence

Although you might want to delete the messages, keeping the proof is important. For example, if cyberbullying occurs between students at the same school, the school will want to see the messages involved.

3. Report and block the bully

Encourage your child to report cyberbullying messages to the relevant social media companies and immediately block the bully from your child’s accounts. You should also encourage your children to protect themselves from online abuse by only accepting friend requests from real-life friends they can trust.

4. Be supportive

Your children need somebody to listen to them and support them during this difficult time. Don’t minimize their experience or dismiss their emotions; instead, hold space so they can talk if and when they need to. You don’t need to solve all of your children’s problems in life, but you do need to be there to listen, if and when they need you to.

5. Don’t let it overpower your child’s life

It’s crucial to counter negative experiences with positive ones. Encourage your children to join clubs and spend time with the friends they love. Bad things happen to all of us, so it’s essential to teach resilience and build a child’s self-esteem.

Spend time with your children, encourage them to do things out of their comfort zone, and generally spend time focusing on what a great person you’re raising.

6. Speak to the school

You should speak to someone at the school if the cyberbully is from the school. School staff are best placed to handle the bully and, unfortunately, will be used to dealing with these situations. If the bully is somebody from an afterschool activity, speak to the staff for advice.

7. Tighten up your online security

It’s essential to take steps to protect your child online. Passwords should be robust, secret, and different for each platform. Teach your child to keep accounts secure so they can’t be easily hacked.

It’s also important to keep social media profiles private and to reject online friend requests from strangers or people your child doesn’t know. Finally, teach your child to be mindful of sharing personal or private information online.

8. Help your child be assertive

Role-play with your children, so they can say no and ask people to stop. The best response to a bully, whether online or in person, is to say ‘Stop. I don’t like it when you do that’. Help your children become more assertive by practising this and allowing them to use their new skills in the real world.

9. Start checking in with them about their online world

Just as you would ask them about their day at school, ask them about the time they spent online that day. Did they have any positive interactions or any trouble? Did they learn anything new? We spend so much time online that discussing this time with our loved ones makes sense.

10. Don’t take away their technology

Although you might want to protect your children from bullies, taking away their technology is not the answer. It will seem like a punishment and can make children feel blamed for what has happened. Instead, you should work together to keep them safe in their online world.

Our article might help you if your child is a victim of bullying: Bullying: Is Your Child Being Bullied? 5 Tips To Help.

Tips for encouraging online safety

Here are some things you can do to help your child stay safe online:

1. Teach online skills early

You don’t need to give your two-year-old a Twitter account to teach online skills; this is something that can be developed over time. As your child’s technology usage increases, ensure the conversations you have about online behavior do, too.

2. Encourage your child to type only things they would say publicly

Imagining their messages being read out in assembly might help your children consider more carefully what they say online. Messages can easily be forwarded or screenshotted and shared with other people. Imagining saying things out loud will also help children determine whether what they’re saying is nasty or could make the receiver feel bad.

3. Encourage your child to analyze things they see online

Identifying fake news is an important life skill young people need to learn. Make this a part of your family learning; look out for fake news online and discuss why people are falling for it.

Teach your children about the ease of taking on a new persona online. How can they trust that the people they’re talking to are really who they say they are?

4. Have rules about online behavior

Before giving your child her first phone, discuss the rules about how she will use it. If you want your child’s social media accounts to be private and restricted to real-life friends, make this a rule. You are allowed to set boundaries regarding your child’s online life. The online world can be tricky to navigate and parental help can make this easier, especially in the early days.

5. Educate yourself on the risks of the online worlds

You must be well-informed to help your child understand the importance of staying safe online. If you don’t know how the latest social media account operates, you aren’t going to play a valuable role in keeping your child safe.

So why not learn alongside your child? There are lots of e-courses designed for parents and young people to learn online safety skills.

How to stop your child from cyberbullying others

As many as 1 in 4 young people have sent nasty messages or been unkind online. As technology invades our lives, the torments of everyday life are moving online.

If your child has been accused of cyberbullying, there are some things you can do:

Listen to your child

Give your children a chance to explain their behavior. This doesn’t mean letting them off the hook; it means giving them a chance to explain. Use this as an opportunity to explain why their behavior is unacceptable.

Set boundaries

If your child is struggling to be kind to others online, she might need some help from you. This could come in the form of reduced access to technology, closer monitoring of online activities, and rules about which sites and social media platforms she’s allowed to use.

Encourage children to imagine things from the victim’s perspective

One of the problems with online bullying is the lack of face-to-face reactions. When bullying occurs online, the bully doesn’t see the tears or misery inflicted on the victim. Always encourage children to consider how their actions affect other people.

Encourage children to apologize to the victim

If your children have done something wrong, it’s vital to help them own it. We all make mistakes, but apologizing is an essential part of the process. Don’t shame a child for what has happened; instead, work together to make a positive change for the future.

Encourage them to speak out

Cyberbullying is prevalent amongst young people, and your child will probably come across further incidents in the coming months. Encourage your child to speak out and question these incidents and offer support to the victims.