When you become a mother, whether it’s for the first or fifth time, you need mama friends around you.
These are the women who know what you’re going through, who are just as tired as you are, and who know exactly what to say to make you feel better.
They’re the women you can sit with, in comfortable silence (because you’re all too tired to think of anything interesting to say), the women you can be honest with, and the women you can talk about anything and everything with.
These are the women who will give you strength, help you laugh off the bad days, and teach you the hacks that will help you survive those first few years of motherhood.
They’re your mentors and your guides. And you’re theirs. You will find them at baby groups, at the park, and online. They will help shape your motherhood experience, and accept this ‘new normal’ that is now your life. You need these women just as much as they need you.
7 Mama Friends You Need In Your Life
Here are seven mama friends you need in your life:
#1: The In-The-Same-Boat Mama
This mama is your mirror image; she knows exactly what you’re going through because she’s living it. If you’re a single mama, she’s a single mama. And she’s the only mama friend who really understands what it’s like not to have a partner to talk about the baby with, at the end of a long day.
If you’re breastfeeding, she’s breastfeeding. And she knows better than anyone else exactly how exhausted you are after being up feeding for most of the night. If you’re going back to work full time, she’s going back to work full time. And she’ll really know what it’s like to try to juggle a demanding full time job with the joys of motherhood.
The in-the-same-boat mama friend keeps your sanity in check. She knows.
#2: The Calm Mama
This mama isn’t fazed by anything. While you’re busy freaking out over your baby’s rash, stressing about when and how to wean your baby onto solids, and panicking that your newly-walking baby just bumped her head at the park, she’s taking it all in her stride. She calms you down simply by being calm herself. She reminds you to stop, breathe, and think, before getting yourself into a panic.
On the days when you’re feeling anxious about everything, she’s the perfect person to bring you back down to earth.
#3: The Experienced Mama
This mama knows what she’s doing because she’s done it all before. While you’re stuck in the middle of first baby anxiety, she has the confidence that comes with practice. She remembers what it’s like to be in your position, because she was once a brand new mama herself.
Those days seem like a distant memory now though, because she’s confident and knowledgeable and has the benefit of experience. You can ask her anything and she’ll tell you what she knows. She’s familiar with your deepest, darkest parenting worries; she’s felt them and, most importantly, she’s survived them.
This is the mama friend you want to speak to when you’re about to make a decision, because she can offer you personal anecdotes and words of wisdom to guide you. And she won’t be offended if you don’t take her advice, because she’s not a defensive first time mama; she knows every parent makes different choices.
#4: The Researcher Mama
Being friends with this mama is like carrying the world’s best parenting manual in your back pocket. She knows everything about everything. She reads all the latest parenting studies, obsessively scans parenting blogs and over thinks everything before making a decision. Better still, she never offers unsolicited parenting advice but is more than happy to share what she knows if you ask.
If you trust her opinion, you can save hours of time by listening to her, instead of researching your parenting dilemma for yourself.
#5: The Straight-Talking Mama
This mama doesn’t sugar coat things; she just tells you the truth about her parenting experience. If the incessant crying is driving her crazy, she’ll tell you that. If she sometimes thinks about listing her kid on eBay, she’ll admit that too. She doesn’t care about promoting a picture perfect representation of family life to the world, she’s just being real.
She’s witty and funny, and you can say whatever the hell you want to her, because she’ll know how to take it with a pinch of salt. She’s the mama you can text at 3am with a rant about never getting any sleep, and you know she’ll reply immediately with something hilarious that will cheer you up.
#6: The Non-Judgemental Mama
This mama could be friends with anyone; she doesn’t have a judgemental bone in her body. You might occasionally worry whether other mama friends are judging you for breast or formula feeding your baby, but you’ll never doubt the non-judgemental mama.
She truly doesn’t care what you do with your child; she loves you regardless. She just wants to meet up, catch up and have fun, and she doesn’t want to judge you or criticise your parenting choices. This mama will help you feel good again if you’re lacking in parenting confidence; she thinks you’re doing a great job, no matter how you’re doing it.
#7: The Couldn’t-Give-A-Hoot Mama
This mama doesn’t lie awake at night wondering whether she did a good job as a mama that day. She doesn’t spend hours Googling potty training techniques, or scouring parenting blogs for advice on how to deal with undesirable behaviour. She doesn’t care what other people think of her. She’s just doing what she instinctively knows she should do. She won’t sit down and talk about teething, nappy rash, or toy-snatching for hours with you, but she’s the perfect person to make you feel human.
She’s not interested in parenting chat; she’d rather talk about music, what she did at the weekend, and the things you have in common. Simply put, she’s the mama who helps you to feel like yourself again, and that’s why you need her.