7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Comment On The Size Of Her Bump

7 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Comment On The Size Of Her Bump

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where this article was unnecessary?

A world where people didn’t comment on women’s bodies – pregnant or otherwise.

A world where women were able to enjoy their pregnancies, free from the judgemental eyes of society.

A world where women’s bodies were simply accepted and celebrated instead of compared and criticised.

Sadly though, we don’t live in that world. Not yet, anyway.

We can create that kind of world though, by taking the first step and stopping ourselves from commenting on the size of the bumps of the pregnant women we encounter.

7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Comment On The Size Of Her Bump

You shouldn’t comment on the size of any pregnant woman’s bump. I know, it’s right there and you can’t help noticing it, but that doesn’t mean you need to voice your thoughts.

You probably don’t mean anything by it. You’re probably just trying to fill the silence, chattering away about pregnancy and life without really stopping to think what you’re saying.

Perhaps you don’t even realise what you’ve said. You just skip away happily at the end of the conversation and get on with your day. You won’t lie awake at night thinking about it – but she might.

Here are 7 reasons why you shouldn’t comment on the size of her bump:

#1: It’s Rude

Isn’t it obvious? It is incredibly rude to greet people by commenting on their size. Would you do that to a friend who had put on weight over Christmas? You’d hope not.

It might be a shock when you see a friend who suddenly looks pregnant and totally different, but the world would be a happier place if you could keep those thoughts to yourself instead of saying them aloud.

Yes, she is pregnant and yes, she has a bump. It might not be exactly the same shape or size as other bumps you have seen, but there is no need to comment on it.

You wouldn’t point out that she has a big spot on her chin or one of her boobs is bigger than the other, so don’t comment on her bump either. It’s just as rude.

#2: She Has Enough To Worry About

Even a straightforward pregnancy can leave a mum-to-be feeling weighed down by worry. There is a lot to organise before the baby arrives. She has to tie up loose ends at work, decorate the nursery, wash all the baby clothes, and work out all the other baby items she needs to buy.

On top of that, she’s probably trying to make sure she’s eating ok, worrying about how the baby’s doing, and trying to stay positive in the face of a zillion unpleasant pregnancy symptoms.

She also has to make sure she isn’t feeling stressed, because that might be bad for the baby, so there’s that to worry about as well. She has quite enough on her plate. Don’t throw extra worries her way.

#3: It Scares Her

Flippant comments can easily get stuck in her head, distracting her from the things she really needs to worry about.

You might make an off-hand remark about her bump being too big or too small and she might spend days worrying about whether her baby is getting enough nutrients or whether she’s going to give birth to a giant.

Nobody wants to believe she’s going to give birth to a huge baby; that’s not going to make for a relaxing pregnancy. And nobody wants to lie awake at night worrying that her baby isn’t growing properly.

Pregnancy can be daunting enough. Then add pregnancy hormones to the mix, and the fact she is hyper-sensitive at the moment. If she’s already feeling anxious, your comments could scare her.

#4: You’re Not A Medical Professional

The size of her bump is pretty meaningless. She could have a big baby hiding in a small bump or a small baby bobbing around in a big bump. You have absolutely no idea what is going on underneath her skin.

You can’t predict the size of the baby from the size of her bump. You are not a medical professional and you have no reason to make any judgements based on her size. So if you have no medical advice or guidance to offer, there is really no need for you to comment on her bump at all.

#5: It’s All She Hears

You might think it’s just a one-off comment, but most likely it’s not. People are probably commenting on the size of her bump all day long. It’s the first thing friends say to her when they see her.

Her body has been under public scrutiny since she announced she was pregnant. Strangers stop her in the street to ask her when she’s due and then comment on whether her bump is big or small. Your comment isn’t the only one she will hear that day; it is likely to be just one of many.

Each time somebody comments on her bump being too big or too small, the doubt in her mind grows and she starts wondering whether perhaps everybody is right. Maybe there is something unusual about her bump; maybe something isn’t right.

#6: You Don’t Know What’s Happening

One important reason why you should avoid flippant comments is you simply don’t know the full story. Perhaps there are concerns her baby is on the small side, and she might be due to have a scan to investigate it. Maybe she is already feeling overwhelmed.

Perhaps she’s struggling with accepting her pregnant body and the changes it has gone through and maybe her self-confidence has nose-dived since her bump started to grow.

You can never know what a person is going through, so try to be gentle when you speak to her. Don’t make sweeping statements or rash remarks. Be kind. That’s all, really. Be kind; it’s all you need to do.

#7: There Are Other Things You Can Say

You’re just trying to make small talk. You’re chattering away about her being pregnant and it just comes up. But now you’ve read this article, you can see why comments like that can be problematic.

Focus on saying other things instead.

If you want to comment on her pregnancy, tell her she looks beautiful. Tell her she looks happy and glowing and pregnancy suits her. Say something that will make her feel good. Compliment, don’t criticise. Lift her up and make her feel amazing; don’t weigh her down with worry.

Will you join the revolution? Will you stop commenting on pregnant women’s bodies? Will you look for ways to support them and compliment them, and not reduce them to mere body parts?

Recommended Reading:

7 Reasons Why Belly Size Doesn’t Always Equate To Baby Size

 

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Fiona Peacock CONTRIBUTOR

Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.


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