Not all pregnant women revel in their pregnancy glow, smiling at everyone they see while skipping down the street.
For many women, pregnancy is something to be endured rather than enjoyed, and there is nothing wrong with that.
So why aren’t they talking about it? The stigma around pregnancy and being grateful is unhelpfully huge.
Not Enjoying Being Pregnant? 8 Helpful Tips
All pregnancies are unique, and while some women may love every second of their nine months, you may be finding it less than fun.
This is normal, and rest assured that you are not alone in feeling this way.
If all the pregnant women around you seem joyous and excited, when you feel anything but, you may start to wonder whether there is something wrong with you. There isn’t.
It’s understandable to feel less than excited about the haemorrhoids, swollen ankles and sore breasts. It’s hard to feel joyful about anything when you have your head in a toilet bowl for much of the day.
Here’s what some BellyBelly fans have had to say:
- “Don’t get me wrong I want my baby, I’m just not finding pregnancy to be the magical experience a lot of other women make it out to be.” — Anon
- “I’m 34 weeks pregnant and have been absolutely miserable the entire time. I think it’s normal to loathe pregnancy.” — Kelsey
- “My friends all loved being pregnant and it was the best experience of their lives. I have been sick most of the time and moody and tired and I just want the baby to be here and I am only at 20 weeks. Pregnancy is different for everyone and there is no right or wrong way to feel.” — Stephanie
Some women find pregnancy hard to like at times, and others may never really settle into loving being pregnant. If you find that you’re not enjoying pregnancy, you may find the following 8 tips helpful:
#1: Be Honest
The reason you feel guilty and abnormal for not enjoying pregnancy, is because you think everyone else is revelling in theirs.
In reality, they may be feeling the same way as you, but be putting on a brave face.
Be honest about you feel, and when people ask how the pregnancy is going, tell them.
#2: Talk About It
Having someone you can talk openly to can be invaluable. Talk to your partner, or a close friend or family member, about how you are feeling.
Simply talking about this issue could help, and may help you to accept your feelings.
You may also find that the person you confide in is able to offer reassurance and support for the rest of the pregnancy.
#3: Don’t Feel Guilty
Some women find themselves feeling guilty for not enjoying pregnancy, and may even worry about whether they are cut out for motherhood if pregnancy is proving this difficult.
It’s important to remember that you have nothing to feel guilty for, the feelings you are experiencing are normal. How you cope with pregnancy has nothing to do with the type of motherhood you will be.
Just because you don’t relish throwing up mashed potatoes, doesn’t mean you are any less capable of loving your child.
#4: Bonding With Your Bump
Some pregnant mamas really struggle to bond with their baby while there only a bump to see. They might feel disconnected and detached from the pregnancy experience.
If you’re struggling to bond with your bump, or if you want some ideas to feel a bit more warm and fuzzy, try BellyBelly’s 12 Ways To Bond With Your Baby.
A little bit of connection may go a long way with how you feel.
#5: Make New Friends
It’s unlikely there is a ‘We Don’t Like Pregnancy Club’ in your local area, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find other women who feel the same way as you.
Try being honest when people ask how you’re feeling, and you’re certain to stumble across a couple more mothers-to-be who are also finding the road to motherhood less than smooth.
Having other people who feel the same way as you, and who understand what you are going through, may help you to feel ‘normal’. Online forums are a great place to look for support and friendship too.
#6: Focus On The Finish Line
Remember, you didn’t get pregnant for the pregnancy. You weren’t excited for the mood swings, forgetfulness and heartburn when you read the positive pregnancy test.
Pregnancy is simply the journey, and you may encounter bumps and potholes along the way, but eventually you will reach your destination, and will get to hold your tiny newborn in your arms.
On tough days, focus on the little baby growing inside you, and try to remember that there is nothing wrong with not enjoying pregnancy.
#7: Check Your Diet And Lifestyle Choices
Your gut is your second brain which contains most of your immune system and is involved with the production of happy hormones. What you eat can affect your mood and daily enjoyment.
Make sure you are eating a well balanced diet which includes a range of veggies of all colours, protein, some fruit, omegas (oily fish, eggs etc), deep greens and whole grain foods (avoid processed or white foods like bread, flour, sugar, biscuits or cake).
Drink plenty of fresh, filtered water and try to walk for 30 minutes a day where you can – it will lift your mood and help you get a good dose of the all important vitamin D3.
#8: Keep Connected With Your Partner
Disconnection and relationship issues can really take a toll during pregnancy and beyond.
If you’re having relationship issues or just feel disconnected, then it might be well overdue to schedule regular quality talking time with your partner… and some professional help if you think you need it.
A troublesome relationship can leave you concerned for your future and wondering if you’ve made the right decision to have a baby. Nip any relationship issues in the bud and you may notice a massive difference with how you feel about being pregnant.
Check out our 10 Minute Relationship Rituals article for some inspiration.
When To Seek Help With Your Feelings During Pregnancy
There is nothing wrong with not enjoying pregnancy, but if you find yourself struggling to cope, you may need some extra help.
If the less than joyous feelings towards pregnancy are accompanied by extreme fatigue, constant low moods and feelings of worthlessness, you should contact your healthcare provider for advice.
Anxiety and prenatal depression are rare, but onset can occur during pregnancy. There are counsellors and psychologists that specialise in pre-natal health – it can be worth your while doing a little research and finding someone to help you who truly gets it.
Check out BellyBelly’s article on 8 Tips To Help Prevent Post Natal Depression to help boost your mood and reduce those down times.
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I am 19 weeks pregnant and I hate it…. I will not be getting pregnant ever again!!!! I am always tired and drained and can not get anything done because of it…. I feel much better then I did in first trimester but still sick, can barely eat, and vomiting…. I can’t do anything for my 2 boys I already have… it was a lot easier with them during pregnancy. This is definitely the last pregnancy and I can not wait until it is over…. I seriously think I need a counselor I am about to loose my mind… please pray for me… I know this is supposed to be a happy process and I feel so guilty that I hate it…. I don’t hate my baby I just hate the pregnancy… please prayer is needed for me….
I am 6 weeks and miserable. The constant feelings of nauseous and metallic taste in my mouth. I hate so many foods. So grateful and blessed for this baby. Just wondering when it will get better. I’m 34. Its my first pregnancy. I feel so guilty because I prayed for this.
I’m 18 and I’m 10 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I’m miserable.. before I got on zofran and another nausea medicine I could not function at all. I still have absolutely no appetite and it’s so hard for me to actually eat. I have terrible headaches that Tylenol won’t even help. I Try to talk to my mom about it but she always just tells me I need to eat more. Like I don’t already know that. I would love to be eating more than I eat as of right now. I just can’t. I’m so tired of being pregnant
I am so relieved I found this thread! I HATE BEING PREGNANT SO MUCH. I am 13 weeks and the perpetual nausea has only gotten worse, while other fun stuff like bloatedness, constipation, headaches and just in today, sciatica, have joined the party. I live in Singapore, a very Confucian-driven society where children are seen as treasures from heaven and pregnancy is the best thing that could happen to a woman (some would say we were born for the sole purpose of reproduction) and so would you imagine the reactions I get if I were to say this aloud in my country? I have tried going on forums in my country and talking about the difficulties of pregnancy, but the only responses I get are, “Be grateful, this is a blessing many women would long to have” or something to that effect. It’s terribly disempowering and shaming. I am excited for this baby, I truly am, but I hate every single moment of this pregnancy. I am also emetophobic (fear of vomiting) and so morning sickness is really a 100x worse for me because I have to face my fear 24/7. I haven’t allowed myself to throw up yet and actually bought Zofran from Thailand where it is over the counter and really cheap. I have read many medical journals that say Zofran has not been proven to harm the developing baby, but I still feel guilty about putting the stuff into myself so that I can prevent myself from throwing up. I’m just waiting on some relief in the much talked about second trimester, and I honestly don’t see it coming at the moment. So so so tired of it all, and only 13 weeks in. Thankful for the best husband ever, but still feeling lonely and miserable.
Hi my dear,
Also from Singapore and it IS hard to find an outlet to show how you are truly feeling!! I have not settled on a gynae yet but know that i want one that isnt all ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ and would generally be concerned for the wellbeing of the baby AND my mental health. I am only 8.5 weeks in and feeling sea sick and i just have no appetite to eat anything even though my tummy is hungry! The constipation makes me a whole lot grumpy too!! Im fortunate that my boss will let me work from home should my body need the rest but i know i will just slack so i push myself to get to the office so at least i can be productive and mentally stimulated. This pregnancy wasn’t 100% planned but we are grateful at the same time that we get to do this a second time. My first was a little more smooth sailing than this but maybe life just gets a bit more complicated when you age and it takes more of s toll on the body. Most of my anxieties now are about not being able to bond when the baby comes or just nit being mentally healthy since I’m having more panic attacks than usual 🙁 i do hope yiu’re getting along better but please know that theres another mummy out here in the westside who is having some challengeswith this journey too!!
I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant and for the last 3 weeks I’ve absolutely hated it. I’ve always been on the fence about whether I wanted to have children due to the lifestyle I like to live so I always kinda expected that the adjustment wouldn’t be smooth sailing. I’m not ashamed or guilty about the feelings I’m having about it, as I know it’s completely normal. The main thing I’m struggling with is other people’s reaction to my feelings. Up to now, I’ve been fortunate enough not to be vomiting, however the overwhelming nausea, tiredness, sore breasts (it’s that bad I struggle to roll over or sleep on my side), struggling to sleep and dizzy spells are life draining. So as you can imagine, I’m not enjoying it. I happened to have a particularly bad day a week or so ago and the response I got from my mum was ‘you feel crappy but it’s giving life to your little one’ – as if that is helpful or changes the fact that I’ve been totally wiped out the entire day. Every conversation she has with me is how positive pregnancy is and this new life I’m bringing into the world – yet if I dare say how I’m not finding it amazing or enjoying it, I get demonised for it. She’s actually now stopped speaking to me altogether because I told her I don’t enjoy talking about being pregnant as if it’s this amazing thing when I’m having a really hard time with the physical side of it. There’s more to me and my life than just being pregnant – so I don’t want that to be the main topic of conversation every time. Or if I’m feeling shitty, I’d prefer not to have to talk about it. I don’t like to be fussed over and I feel smoothered being made to talk about it. Quite frankly, I’d rather just be left alone and it not be brought up at all. Luckily, my boyfriend is very supportive and is letting me just do my thing and be the miserable broad I am (haha)
Wow so suprised to hear others are also going through the same thing as me, I though my body just couldn’t handle pregnancy but it looks like I’m not alone. This is my second pregnancy I am 26 with a 7 year old I am 17 weeks & completely miserable. I had no health issues before this now I have acid reflux & taking meds for that. Weeks 7 to now have been non stop sick. I’m either nauseous, vommiting, dizzy or having anxiety that I am going to get sick out in public. B6 & unisom have helped alot but I’m not really liking the idea of being on a sleeping pill while pregnant even though the doctor reassures me it is safe. I have been trying to wean myself off even though I only take 1/2 of a pill each night. I can’t even stomach the gummy prenatals I was taking for the first 2 months & now everyone gives me crap about not taking them so it makes me feel bad! I am just ready for the baby to be here & hoping everything is healthy even though I have been so sick. My s/o also thinks I am faking how sick I am! I work part time & can barely do that anymore, the house is a mess which is not like me & dinners haven’t been getting cooked. I feel like I’m failing but what can I do when I feel this bad?
Hello ladies,
Is there anyone here based in the Sydney Area that wants to connect? I am in the inner West.
I’m 9 weeks today and totally relate to all of you. Be nice to catch up over a soft drink (booo)
Sammy xx
I went through so much to get pregnant (many rounds of IVF) but here I am at 31 weeks and hating every minute of being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful and thankful that I will be a momma but why couldn’t this have been a bit easier to handle? I have no control over my emotions, I get sick constantly. I hate that my baby is so active I’m actually in pain from his kicks. I just want this to be over with. I see my doctor practically every week as I am a high risk pregnancy but all I keep getting told about my misery is that it’s normal.
This is my second pregnancy and it’s been miserable. I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through, because I really don’t have anyone to talk to. My husband keeps telling me it’s all in my head, so I feel like he doesn’t get it. I’m so sad and moody and sick all the time. I’m only 14 weeks and I’m just over it. I’m ready for the baby to get here already. Please pray for me.
Hi Ladies
what a relief to read you all. I hate being pregnant too. I love my menstrual cycle, great way to feel life and its different colors and energies. Now I’m feeling bloated most of time, my clothes don’t fit me, it’s cold and winter, I have a very erratic sleep pattern, usually fall asleep at 7 pm and wake up at midnight, and then wake up about 6 to 8 times until morning to go to the toilet or because of anxious thoughts, a nightmare!! I’ve had nausea all along, night and day, which has kept me away from my yoga practise. This morning for the first time, I managed to meditate for 20 minutes and do some asanas, yayyyy!!! Let’s all connect internally to all pregnant women and hope we receive plenty of support and compassion from the Universe to have the patience …I’m only 3 months into it :-//
Good day everyone,
I’m in desperate need of help or advise. We are 18weeks along, and it hasn’t been an enjoyable experience at all. From middle to end of the first trimester it was alright, my wife was constantly tired so she sleep most of the time which we were ok with. However, going into the second trimester has been quiet rough, the first 2-3weeks she couldn’t stand food at all so she had to force herself to eat, now she’s gotten better a little bit but can’t stand certain food, in addition to that she’s been having constant abdominal and/or lower back pain, she says that when the baby moves, which is quiet frequent, it hurts her and makes her think that the baby hates her and it makes her sad, I have unsuccessfully tried to reassure and comfort her. I am in desperate need of help and/or advise. Thank you all in advance for any and all help/advise.
Hi ladies,
Thanks you all for your honesty; until just now, I thought it must have just been me that was secretly not loving being pregnant! I’m 16 weeks and have spent the last 8 weeks with severe nausea, vomiting and dry fetching (which I feel is even worse than vomiting, as there is never the “relief” of something coming up, plus you feel like you’re suffocating as your stomach is spasming-it’s awful). I’ve had a few days of feeling well (and then excited that the worst might be behind me), only to be smashed by more vomiting and retching. Women at work and friends seem all to be having smoother pregnancies that me, so I feel pathetic that my body isn’t coping so well. I feel like I’m letting down my colleagues by taking sick leave (having never really taken sick leave in my life), although I know that’s illogical, and everyone has been quite understanding. Like many ladies here, I’m also frustrated that pregnancy is touted to be this “magical and beautiful experience”… I would do ANYTHING to fast forward to the birth! I also feel guilty about being honest about how I’m feeling with my pregnant friends; I don’t want my misery to impact their happy pregnancies! I don’t feel anything towards my baby yet, I’ve been so disappointed about how sick I’ve felt.
I hope that changes once I feel it moving…. I have all the sympathy in the world for you all, I hope we all battle through this together and make it out the other side!!!
I have read each and every comment.It has given me hope….Am sure most are mothers now.I feel the same way loneliness and guilt for hating the pregnancy and loathe for the whole experience.11wks and just trying to take a day at a time which is pure torture
i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel……
im ten weeks and i feel like this will never end.
im not good in general with being sick and so feeling claustrophobic in my own body and feeling like im about to burst out of my skin is constant and gives me panic attacks.
i wasnt a big eater before this and now having to shovel food into a place that is slow in digesting and full is depressing. i have a constant bloated stomach which is painful and what makes it worse im not showing much but because of the bloat i have started to get stretch marks on my sides…. like WTF
and not being able to keep healthy food down is annoying as i dont eat take away or hot chips and now its the only thing im not scared to eat.
heart burn is horrific but id rather that then vomiting nothing up because i slept in to long and woke up super hungry or ive had dinner its been 3 hours and apparently im hungry again…. that stuff burns.
i dont want to be touched but i need back rubs and body heat
my house is a mess and my work is suffering because im tired by 11am and dont really care about anything.
i have never heard anyone ,mention how horrid it is but it makes sense as my friends didnt have to work while pregnant and so they were asleep most the time and disappear for weeks on end before showing up again and announcing their pregnancy.
i hate being so negative but because i feel so stretched i cant escape this head space and cry all the time.
24/7 head ache and the burping
its upsetting as i have said to my partner i dont see us having another one after this and i just hope it sticks and we make full term because i just cant do this again. im worried about postnatal depression because of the way i feel now and it scares me.
i see everyone writing how i feel and what im experiencing too and feel a little better
WHERES THE GLOW
Finding this website gave me so much relief because I am not alone. 8 weeks and after a previous ectopic I find myself worrying even after hearing heart beat. I was so used to working for myself and being on the go that I feel so depressed and useless. Maybe once I hit 3 month mark and can talk about it I’ll feel better. I’m in my 30s and have a great partner and I’m on lucky not another ectopic but I feel useless and like my life’s work and meaning I am on hold. I just want my baby in my arms and for a new chapter to start. All they show us is happy smiling women and i feel guilty for just wanting this over with. I cannot see myself wanting to do this again. I’ve already told my partner and excitedly grandparents to be…don’t expect a fleet of grand kids to follow. I really hope the baby is healthy and feels how much I love it regardless of my anxiety and feelings right now. 🙁
I’m so glad I read this. I took a home test because I was feeling a little “off” and thought it would reassure me that I wasn’t pregnant. It was positive and since then I’ve just felt worse and worse. Husband and I thought we’d start trying soon but never really made a plan, just started being less and less careful. Now it’s done and I’m totally ambivalent about the whole thing and mostly just feel crampy and sad. And I want to wait until after my first appt to start letting people know but I also could use some support getting my head in this. It was helpful to read other’s stories. I’d love to hear how everyone is doing and if it ever got better.
How are you feeling now?
Im 8 weeks pregnant with my second child and finding this pregnancy so much harder im constantly feeling sick but not actually throwing up, constant back pain and very bloated i look like im 8 months. I love this baby already dont get me wrong took us 5 years to conceive and over the moon but this pregnancy is actually killing me dont feel like myself anymore too tired all the time working 40 hours a week with a 11 year old and my partner is the same just dont no how im going to be able to do another 7 months
I hope you are surviving. Personally I am sick a lot and at home a lot rather then working when I should be at my job. But I can’t help it my body feels like it’s falling apart – sickness , tiredness, can’t eat much it’s so crazy… I’m 22 weeks now and should apparently be feeling better but I’m really just not and im struggling to keep it together after being I’ll my body breaks and I get chills and shudder. I am just praying that the new tablets the dr gave me help with all this and am giving myself a break because if I can’t forgive myself who will.
I am 3 months pregnant and I absolutely hate being pregnant but I really need a baby!! The worst thing I am experiencing is excessive salivation. It is HORRIBLE!! I feel like staying home all day everyday and not working. I am always feeling tierd, fatigue, moody…….just uncomfortable!! I can’t wait untill 9months to go back to the normal me!! Please God let this time pass by quickly 🙁
And there I was, thinking long and hard, how to put a smile for the show and pretend to be enjoying it.14 weeks and not enjoying the vomit, drooling,crying for no reason, dizzy, fainting,multiple bathroom breaks, constipated, don’t sleep, back pain, sciatica and metallic taste in my mouth that makes me spit.I force myself to eat as I had lost weight too fast and I hate everyone and everything. I find no joy in anything or anyone. So far to go..I love the baby but loathe being pregnant.
I’m 7weeks pregnant and I really don’t feel good about anything 🙁 I feel so miserable and on top of that am already skinny and becoming more skinny day by day coz I’ve been puking all day and stopped eating though :/ even my bf don’t understand me..he says am neglecting my body etc..but I just can’t eat but nobody understands that ..feeling so awful 🙁 want to cry
Are you feeling any better these days I hope? I am in my 26th week and am absolutely hating every minute of this pregnancy. I broke my kneecap last month too and am in a brace that keeps it straight. I thought I was doing ok the last week, starting to get around better and nesting and organizing all of my neglected piles around the house, until I pulled a ligament in my sacroiliac joint and am now on my couch in agony unable to sleep and missing more work. I can’t take care of my 3yo by myself and my husband works nights. I am at a new low point. Not sure how I will make it through to the end without losing my mind.
I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I hate this . I love feeling my baby girl move and I’m extremely excited for her arrival but I’m jus so over being pregnant . My mood swings are ridiculous still even though I’m far along . I can’t sleep at night because I cannot comfortable anymore . I feel so ugly and unattractive rn . Work is becoming unbearable , working 8 hour shifts standing all day is far too much . Achy hips , achy back.. having to pee all the time . And ohh I get lightheaded so much I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen backwards . Shortness of breath . Sex isn’t even fun anymore . Like I cannot deal with this . I know I’ve made it this far , but I’m dreading going through this for another 7 weeks .
Omg you are my twin!
Although I am 16 weeks and 2days, everyone keeps saying that it will get better. Well it honestly hasn’t. I’m still nauseated throughout the day and when I do eat something, if the baby doesn’t like it, it doesn’t seem to stay down,. I’ve been hearing all of my friends talk about this pregnancy bliss I’m supposed have at this time, but I am truly hating being pregnant. It really makes me feel like not wanting to have anymore kids after this. Sometimes, I think to myself,. Why are some women so fortunate to have a pregnancy no nausea or vomiting and then there’s people like me who have been sick I found out I was pregnant. My vomiting and nausea was so bad that I had to be hospitalized for a couple of weeks. I have doctors telling me to gain weight , but how is that possible when nothing you tastes good and better yet wants to stay down. I cry out of frustration because I want to eat and take care of my baby, I want to have a good pregnancy, but it’s simply not the case. I love my baby, but I’m not enjoying my pregnancy at all. Where is the infamous “pregnancy glow ” that everyone says your supposed to have , cause I haven’t seen it and I don’t feel anything but resentment toward women who have awesome pregnancies that they can brag about. When does it end? When does it get better? Because so far, I wish I could fast forward to the end and she already be here.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who is feeling miserable; absolutely miserable during this pregnancy. This is my third child, my bfs first. My other two are from a previous marriage when I was younger, about 9-11 years ago so this feels all new to me again. I know I was not this miserable though. I’m 22 weeks now after having 2 miscarriages in the past two years so it’s been a blessing to hang on to this pregnancy, yet I haven’t enjoyed any of it. I’ve had severe morning sickness for 4 months straight. Puking every day all day. Going in for IV treatments because I’ve been so sick. Had to get put on bedrest for placenta previa and bleeding which cleared up. But now I’m bleeding again. Been out of work for half my pregnancy due to all my problems. Freaked out and told them I was quitting if they couldn’t offer me first shift instead of third. Had to take a 5 dollar paycut to do it. I feel like I’m the only one suffering. Bf hasn’t been affected. I’m the only one this is affecting. And everything hurts. My back is killing me. My stomach is huge and I cannot breathe, I’m so uncomfortable. I still get nauseous. I can’t imagine another 4 months of this. I’m stressed out and depressed and not looking forward to the sleepless nights when the baby comes. I hate feeling this way. I know it will get better but that’s a really long ways away and doesn’t make me feel better now.
I am so grateful to have found this and the comments! I’ve been feeling odd because I already love my baby and love being their mom, but I hate being pregnant and I feel like I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick for 6 hours after I wake up. Then I get sick again after eating dinner. Thank you for the reassurance that I’m not a bad mom for feeling this way. The problem is that if I try to talk to anyone, they just say, “Well, you planned this pregnancy.” Super not helpful.
Just because it’s a planned pregnancy doesn’t mean you can’t feel miserable. I totally get it. They have no idea what you’re going through. Just remember it’s temporary. I know that may not be reassuring. Not a lot feels reassuring during all the misery. Just know you’re not alone!
Reading through all of these different pregnancy experiences from others is definitely making me feel a sense of relief, for I too am also feeling miserable so far throughout this whole pregnancy experience. While finally coming to the end of mu 1st trimester (13 weeks,) I am so far… do not have a positive “pregnancy story” to tell meanwhile, I hear other females practically brag about how easy-breezy theirs was for them. Perhaps I feel slightly envious?
I work 36 hours a week and was a full-time student until literally today, because I posponed my enrollment due to feeling so ultimately low. And to make matters worse, my exit interview was terrible. The lady who I talked to must have NEVER experienced pregnancy at all, because she pretty callus and apathetic while speaking to me. She went as far as saying, “If you were just going to get pregnant then why did you ever even enroll at all?” — Oh geese, yeah… I am sorry, I guess that being a fortune teller should be attached to every female’s diplomas JUST IN CASE they get pregnant le attending school. We all see it coming a mile away…. How rude! Mood swings make it difficult to even sit back and listen to people patronize you and keep a cool head.
All and all, I am terrified of childbirth, but totally grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. We cannot blame ourselves and let it detach us (as mothers) from the bigger picture.
“My current situation is not my permanent destination” – I chant this to myself every day.
I hope that this helps others.
Your comments have definitely assisted me.
Thanks ladies. ❤
I’m 13 weeks and it’s my 2nd pregnancy. I have a 6 year old and after trying 3+ years for the 2nd one, finally got prego with IVF. However, I have been so tired and sick for the last 7 weeks I feel I just made the biggest mistake in my life. I should have accepted we have a wonderful 6 year old. I feel hopeless and depressed, to make it worse, I work at home and have no one to talk to all day. Don’t know if I can make it another 6 months.
I am 21 weeks and so completely sick of being pregnant. I was looking forward to the second trimester but nope just keep getting worse. I am tired i have gd low iron antinatal depression I’m still sick and i feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life. I wish i could just fastforward the next 19 weeks and be over and done with this.
Hello Sharon, I can sooo relate to that! I found out I was pregnant March 31st. Although me and my partner planned having a child one day it came totally unexpected and way too soon. Hating it with all my heart and wish I could take it all back. Feeling nauseous pretty much every day, I’m constipated, tired and short of breath even if not doing anything. I feel like crying all the time, that’s how much I hate it. My partner is super excited, so are my parents and sister. I do not have an idea how I’m gonna last the whole 9 months and stay sane. Feeling like I ruined my life. I am 40 and therefore I think I should keep the baby. My partner is the best guy I’ve ever met still I think I am making huge mistake. I used to be so active and energetic and loved my life. Now I feel like I am just wasting one day after another. Can’t find joy in anything. Keep sleeping so much and then angry at myself.
I m 22 weeks pregnant with twins, husband away. Feel like I won’t be able to handle it well. Tired mentally as well as physically. I am loosing confidence in myself. Sleepless nights. And now even I don’t connect to my babies. How can I overcome these feelings. Plz help.
I’m 7 weeks pregnant and absolutely miserable. Constantly fatigued, all day nausea, backaches and headaches… what part about this do some women love? I’ve tried talking to some friends and family… but everyone I’ve spoken to seems to have “loved” being pregnant. Its harder because I havent completed my first trimester so no one really knows aside from hubby and parents. I’m absolutely terrified at the idea of giving birth… I cry pretty much for no reason… just feel so disconnected and miserable. When will I start to enjoy this and get excited? Becoming a mother still hasnt really even hit me…all I feel is sick and tired.
I’m feeling the same found out I have twins too and I can’t cope. My head is all over the place I feel I’m not going to be able to cope and deal with this. I am a teacher and need to go back full time after 6-9 months my partner and family will look after them. I’m so exhausted at 9 weeks not sleeping and hip pain. Will i bond will I regret having them so many negative ressetful thoughts. Feel like I’m losing my mind
How do you feel now?
I feel like I’m in a horror movie, like my body has been taken from me and is no longer mine. I have a parasite inside me that I wish I could say I loved but all it does is cause pain and hatred towards it. I know that when it comes out I will love it but I have to make it 3 more months of hell. It’s nice to know that other women feel the same way as me. I feel so alone most of the time. No one i am around seems to understand in the slightest, just an onslaught of judgments. I seriously would rather die than do this again.
Hahaha I relate to this. My first I had dreams of the end scene of alien where it rips out of her stomach. It took me 9 years to forget enough to be fooled into thinking I would want to go through it all over again. So here I am caught in another 9 month horror story!
I am.23 weeks pregnant and.feel nothing towards my unborn child i feel so bad and not sure what to do all my friends and family and all so excited i smiled the first time i felt her move and i am conserned about her health but i just feel so bad when everyone else is so excited
Advice please
Hey Charlotte
I’m a bit the same and was worried that I’m a little resentful aswell. A good few of my friends have said the same so we are not alone. I’m 30+ and am surrounded by a maternal family that make it all a big deal and feel annoyed about it all, guilty that I don’t think of pregnancy as my life’s purpose etc. I want a family with my partner but I have hated every step of the way as I’ve just had one problem after the other from morning sickness though to extremely bad hip pain now. My friends have all said to me that even if you haven’t felt a connection straight up, it’s not the end of the world, one was honest enough to say she’s always loved them but didn’t fully connect to them until they were 5yrs and older…..she is a kick ass mum of 3 teenage boys now 🙂
Everyone is different I suppose and if it is depression there’s also nothing wrong with that since pretty much it’s the biggest spanner in the works of your life and hormones, it is also not a beautiful, wonderful experience for so many, like you see on Instagram & Facebook 😛
Finding yourself a few sarcastic friends helps plenty 😉
Charlotte, give it time. Some mums fall in love with their babies when they are pregnant and some mums fall in love at first sight and hold… some mums have to adjust to motherhood after baby is born and eventually will seek that love for their baby too. The fact is your showing signs you care deeply the fact your reaching out for help and are concerned. You deep down want the best for your girl and it’s clear to me that being concerned for your baby’s health you are showing love. Just give it time a don’t push any negative thoughts on yourself as your doing something so amazing! I hope you feel better!!! –
I’m 26 weeks and I absolutely hate being pregnant. I’m not looking forward to the birth, I feel absolutely disconnected from my body and this baby. I wanted this for so long, and now I cannot believe how silly I was.
I went through a miscarriage, and got pregnant within a week or two of miscarrying. This pregnancy is rough. I went to the hospital on July 19th 2016 with bad cramps and found out I was pregnant, and that I was under 6 weeks, and everything looked okay. Well, it’s August 7 and it’s hell. I’m throwing up everything I eat. I can barely take my prenatal vitamins.
It’s my first baby and don’t get me wrong I am super excited and already in love with my little boy (yes I know the gender) I’m getting close to 34 weeks and I am so ready for him to come out. I feel like I can’t so much. I am 22 so most of my friends are in to the parties and such. I actually feel so envious sometimes…I wish that could be me… even my husband goes out often I just feel like a stick in the mud.. I am just ready to receive this baby.
Ps. Doesn’t help when he doesn’t stop moving (very active ). I am tired and hungry more than ever! I can’t even go for long walks or anything anymore… I feel like a boring person …
I feel so guilty, I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way especially because I’ve come so far …but I’m just ready..any advice?
I know this post is old but I am dealing with the exact same thing. It’s the hardest thing ever I feel like.. I know it sounds so insane but I am only 23 weeks and I have so much anger and envy consuming me right now it’s terrible. Like I need this baby to come/ I was so sick in the beginning and now I’m just so tired.. addiction to sugar.. and feel so disgusting..
I am so excited and in love with this baby but I’m struggling beyond belief with not being able to do anything.. and also my body changing so much and being so envious of the Instagram models I see so much.. again I know this probably sounds shallow and I’m sorry I just needed to say it and see if I am a horrible person like I feel I am.
I’m pregnant with my 2nd baby & I hate being pregnant. I feel I’m not emotionally or physically ready to hv another baby,I hv a 2year old & I feel like anything she does just Piss me off which makes me hate having another child even more. Cld there be anything wrong with me? Pls help…
Thank you for your honesty. Your comment made me break out into laughter as I completely understand making me feel much better that someone else had the same feelings. I’m pregnant with my 3rd and I have 2 under 3 years of age. I’m taking everything one day at a time. You have to understand that it’s always super duper hard in the beginning. But this too shall pass. We have to stay patient and believe that tomorrow will be better. I can only suggest besides constant praying to take time outs for yourself. Instead of giving the kids a time out. Go take a 5 minute break while your 2 year old plays with her toys or something. Lie down and put your feet up when you get upset. And reach out to folks. Sometimes venting to someone you trust can change your perspective.
I totally feel the same, I have a 2 year old too and we are struggling a bit financially and I’m 6 weeks I’m really not excited about anything instead I’m angry and emotionally drained. I don’t know how to feel and what to think. I’m so sad
I know this is an old post, but I completely understand, they can really be a pain and very draining. I am pregnant with my second but my daughter is 17, and she drives me insane sometimes. I do want this baby very much but I have to stay focused on the end when they finally arrive. I am only 12 weeks and I have horribly slow indigestion, an acidic flu like feeling and taste in my body, headaches, gas, nausea but no throwing up and bloat every night that puts me at a 6 months belly! First time round was nothing like this but my body was younger then. My partner thinks I’m just being negative, and I wish he would just shut up. He has no idea. Plus I love food and this is changing all of that. I am trying to feel happy but It is so hard. I pray the 2nd tri is much easier.
Although this comment is old – it made my day! I’m pregnant with #5, and I don’t want to do this! I have a 3 yo who drives me insane as well as three teenagers (no better than 3 yo behaviour!) I hate everything about this pregnancy. I don’t want to do this. I have no family support, only my amazing husband but she works so much that I feel alone and miserable all the time. I have no connection to this new baby and seriously regret my life choices. I don’t believe in abortion. I have no doubt there’s something wrong with me.
I’m at 16 weeks and still absolutely miserable. Puking, nausea, tiredness, mood swings, loosing my balance and light headed. Have felt like this since about 8 weeks. The second I eat more than a couple bites if anything I puke. If I don’t eat almost constantly, my sugar drops into the 30’s or 40’s.
Sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time of it! Have you had your iron levels checked? Might be one of the causes of some of those problems. See if you can ask about your ferritin levels and if they are low, Metagenics in Australia have a great iron supplement (practitioner only so via a natural health therapist like a naturopath).
I’m only 8 weeks and feeling miserable. The nausea, mood swings and food aversion are killing me.
And it’s not something I can talk to friends or relatives because they just don’t understand.
We’re all supposed to be happy and over the moon for our babies, nobody tells us how difficult things can be during first trimester.
The dos and don’ts are also a pain in the neck.
Am 7 weeks pregnant and i feel sick and fatigued all the time
..its really getting hard on me..i wonder when will all this changes stop.
I feel the same way. I’m 8 weeks pregnant and get constant migraines and nausea. When does this stop?
The problem is that all the magazines show smiling happy pregnant women – so they promote an ideal and high expectations. My last child had a complex heart condition and my pregnancy was destroyed because of the stress in the last 20 weeks – and it’s ruined the excitement for my current pregnancy even tho I’ve been told his heart is fine.
11 weeks, this is my 2nd pregnancy and i’m miserable. the nausea is non stop nothing settles my stomach and i cry for everything. my 1st pregnancy was so different. i feel guilty for being so sick and not being able to do the normal things my son is used to doing with me but between vomiting and sleeping i have no energy. my family and friends have been great but i am really hoping this turns around for me soon
I’m only 7 weeks and I am not sure I can do this. I feel so overwhelmed by my mood swings and morning sickness. I’ve never felt so alone. Everyone expects me to be overjoyed but I can’t keep faking it.
It can be very intense in the first trimester! Hang in there. The second trimester is usually much more enjoyable for most women. If you don’t find it changes, then see if you can find a good perinatal counsellor (they are specialised in pre and post natal issues) and try and talk things through. Try and avoid sugar which can mess with your hormones further, as well as cause that sugar crash. Good luck!
I’m only 2 months along and feeling like I can’t do another 7 months !
Just feel so sick and so exhausted all the time just hope it will get easier !
This is my 2nd pregnancy and finding it harder this time round
19 weeks. I finally stopped puking consistently through out the day maybe two weeks ago but most mornings head in a bucket as the bathroom is downstairs and what feels like three blocks done. I am finally at a point were physically pregnancy is okay but I still hate it. For me it is mentally too trying. Hope things turn around for you good luck 🙂
i totally agree. i am only 12 weeks pregnant and i cant stand it anymore!! ugh!!!
Clarissa: I’m in the same boat. I’m was excited to find out I was pregnant and to have a baby – but I’m finding out that I hate being pregnant. Currently hoping that the second trimester gets better, as so many people/sites claim.