Not Enjoying Being Pregnant? 8 Helpful Tips

Not Enjoying Being Pregnant? 8 Helpful Tips

Not all pregnant women revel in their pregnancy glow, smiling at everyone they see while skipping down the street.

For many women, pregnancy is something to be endured rather than enjoyed, and there is nothing wrong with that.

So why aren’t they talking about it? The stigma around pregnancy and being grateful is unhelpfully huge.

Not Enjoying Being Pregnant? 8 Helpful Tips

All pregnancies are unique, and while some women may love every second of their nine months, you may be finding it less than fun.

This is normal, and rest assured that you are not alone in feeling this way.

If all the pregnant women around you seem joyous and excited, when you feel anything but, you may start to wonder whether there is something wrong with you. There isn’t.

It’s understandable to feel less than excited about the haemorrhoids, swollen ankles and sore breasts. It’s hard to feel joyful about anything when you have your head in a toilet bowl for much of the day.

Here’s what some BellyBelly fans have had to say:

  • “Don’t get me wrong I want my baby, I’m just not finding pregnancy to be the magical experience a lot of other women make it out to be.” — Anon
  • “I’m 34 weeks pregnant and have been absolutely miserable the entire time. I think it’s normal to loathe pregnancy.” — Kelsey
  • “My friends all loved being pregnant and it was the best experience of their lives. I have been sick most of the time and moody and tired and I just want the baby to be here and I am only at 20 weeks. Pregnancy is different for everyone and there is no right or wrong way to feel.” — Stephanie

Some women find pregnancy hard to like at times, and others may never really settle into loving being pregnant. If you find that you’re not enjoying pregnancy, you may find the following 8 tips helpful:

#1: Be Honest

The reason you feel guilty and abnormal for not enjoying pregnancy, is because you think everyone else is revelling in theirs.

In reality, they may be feeling the same way as you, but be putting on a brave face.

Be honest about you feel, and when people ask how the pregnancy is going, tell them.

#2: Talk About It

Having someone you can talk openly to can be invaluable. Talk to your partner, or a close friend or family member, about how you are feeling.

Simply talking about this issue could help, and may help you to accept your feelings.

You may also find that the person you confide in is able to offer reassurance and support for the rest of the pregnancy.

#3: Don’t Feel Guilty

Some women find themselves feeling guilty for not enjoying pregnancy, and may even worry about whether they are cut out for motherhood if pregnancy is proving this difficult.

It’s important to remember that you have nothing to feel guilty for, the feelings you are experiencing are normal. How you cope with pregnancy has nothing to do with the type of motherhood you will be.

Just because you don’t relish throwing up mashed potatoes, doesn’t mean you are any less capable of loving your child.

#4: Bonding With Your Bump

Some pregnant mamas really struggle to bond with their baby while there only a bump to see. They might feel disconnected and detached from the pregnancy experience.

If you’re struggling to bond with your bump, or if you want some ideas to feel a bit more warm and fuzzy, try BellyBelly’s 12 Ways To Bond With Your Baby.

A little bit of connection may go a long way with how you feel.

#5: Make New Friends

It’s unlikely there is a ‘We Don’t Like Pregnancy Club’ in your local area, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find other women who feel the same way as you.

Try being honest when people ask how you’re feeling, and you’re certain to stumble across a couple more mothers-to-be who are also finding the road to motherhood less than smooth.

Having other people who feel the same way as you, and who understand what you are going through, may help you to feel ‘normal’. Online forums are a great place to look for support and friendship too.

#6: Focus On The Finish Line

Remember, you didn’t get pregnant for the pregnancy. You weren’t excited for the mood swings, forgetfulness and heartburn when you read the positive pregnancy test.

Pregnancy is simply the journey, and you may encounter bumps and potholes along the way, but eventually you will reach your destination, and will get to hold your tiny newborn in your arms.

On tough days, focus on the little baby growing inside you, and try to remember that there is nothing wrong with not enjoying pregnancy.

#7: Check Your Diet And Lifestyle Choices

Your gut is your second brain which contains most of your immune system and is involved with the production of happy hormones.  What you eat can affect your mood and daily enjoyment.

Make sure you are eating a well balanced diet which includes a range of veggies of all colours, protein, some fruit, omegas (oily fish, eggs etc), deep greens and whole grain foods (avoid processed or white foods like bread, flour, sugar, biscuits or cake).

Drink plenty of fresh, filtered water and try to walk for 30 minutes a day where you can – it will lift your mood and help you get a good dose of the all important vitamin D3.

#8: Keep Connected With Your Partner

Disconnection and relationship issues can really take a toll during pregnancy and beyond.

If you’re having relationship issues or just feel disconnected, then it might be well overdue to schedule regular quality talking time with your partner… and some professional help if you think you need it.

A troublesome relationship can leave you concerned for your future and wondering if you’ve made the right decision to have a baby. Nip any relationship issues in the bud and you may notice a massive difference with how you feel about being pregnant.

Check out our 10 Minute Relationship Rituals article for some inspiration.

When To Seek Help With Your Feelings During Pregnancy

There is nothing wrong with not enjoying pregnancy, but if you find yourself struggling to cope, you may need some extra help.

If the less than joyous feelings towards pregnancy are accompanied by extreme fatigue, constant low moods and feelings of worthlessness, you should contact your healthcare provider for advice.

Anxiety and prenatal depression are rare, but onset can occur during pregnancy. There are counsellors and psychologists that specialise in pre-natal health – it can be worth your while doing a little research and finding someone to help you who truly gets it.

Check out BellyBelly’s article on 8 Tips To Help Prevent Post Natal Depression to help boost your mood and reduce those down times.

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Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.

  1. I’m only 2 months along and feeling like I can’t do another 7 months !
    Just feel so sick and so exhausted all the time just hope it will get easier !
    This is my 2nd pregnancy and finding it harder this time round

    1. 19 weeks. I finally stopped puking consistently through out the day maybe two weeks ago but most mornings head in a bucket as the bathroom is downstairs and what feels like three blocks done. I am finally at a point were physically pregnancy is okay but I still hate it. For me it is mentally too trying. Hope things turn around for you good luck 🙂

      1. Clarissa: I’m in the same boat. I’m was excited to find out I was pregnant and to have a baby – but I’m finding out that I hate being pregnant. Currently hoping that the second trimester gets better, as so many people/sites claim.

  2. I’m only 7 weeks and I am not sure I can do this. I feel so overwhelmed by my mood swings and morning sickness. I’ve never felt so alone. Everyone expects me to be overjoyed but I can’t keep faking it.

    1. It can be very intense in the first trimester! Hang in there. The second trimester is usually much more enjoyable for most women. If you don’t find it changes, then see if you can find a good perinatal counsellor (they are specialised in pre and post natal issues) and try and talk things through. Try and avoid sugar which can mess with your hormones further, as well as cause that sugar crash. Good luck!

  3. 11 weeks, this is my 2nd pregnancy and i’m miserable. the nausea is non stop nothing settles my stomach and i cry for everything. my 1st pregnancy was so different. i feel guilty for being so sick and not being able to do the normal things my son is used to doing with me but between vomiting and sleeping i have no energy. my family and friends have been great but i am really hoping this turns around for me soon

  4. The problem is that all the magazines show smiling happy pregnant women – so they promote an ideal and high expectations. My last child had a complex heart condition and my pregnancy was destroyed because of the stress in the last 20 weeks – and it’s ruined the excitement for my current pregnancy even tho I’ve been told his heart is fine.

  5. Am 7 weeks pregnant and i feel sick and fatigued all the time

    ..its really getting hard on me..i wonder when will all this changes stop.

  6. I’m only 8 weeks and feeling miserable. The nausea, mood swings and food aversion are killing me.
    And it’s not something I can talk to friends or relatives because they just don’t understand.
    We’re all supposed to be happy and over the moon for our babies, nobody tells us how difficult things can be during first trimester.
    The dos and don’ts are also a pain in the neck.

  7. I’m at 16 weeks and still absolutely miserable. Puking, nausea, tiredness, mood swings, loosing my balance and light headed. Have felt like this since about 8 weeks. The second I eat more than a couple bites if anything I puke. If I don’t eat almost constantly, my sugar drops into the 30’s or 40’s.

    1. Sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time of it! Have you had your iron levels checked? Might be one of the causes of some of those problems. See if you can ask about your ferritin levels and if they are low, Metagenics in Australia have a great iron supplement (practitioner only so via a natural health therapist like a naturopath).

  8. I’m pregnant with my 2nd baby & I hate being pregnant. I feel I’m not emotionally or physically ready to hv another baby,I hv a 2year old & I feel like anything she does just Piss me off which makes me hate having another child even more. Cld there be anything wrong with me? Pls help…

    1. Thank you for your honesty. Your comment made me break out into laughter as I completely understand making me feel much better that someone else had the same feelings. I’m pregnant with my 3rd and I have 2 under 3 years of age. I’m taking everything one day at a time. You have to understand that it’s always super duper hard in the beginning. But this too shall pass. We have to stay patient and believe that tomorrow will be better. I can only suggest besides constant praying to take time outs for yourself. Instead of giving the kids a time out. Go take a 5 minute break while your 2 year old plays with her toys or something. Lie down and put your feet up when you get upset. And reach out to folks. Sometimes venting to someone you trust can change your perspective.

    2. I know this is an old post, but I completely understand, they can really be a pain and very draining. I am pregnant with my second but my daughter is 17, and she drives me insane sometimes. I do want this baby very much but I have to stay focused on the end when they finally arrive. I am only 12 weeks and I have horribly slow indigestion, an acidic flu like feeling and taste in my body, headaches, gas, nausea but no throwing up and bloat every night that puts me at a 6 months belly! First time round was nothing like this but my body was younger then. My partner thinks I’m just being negative, and I wish he would just shut up. He has no idea. Plus I love food and this is changing all of that. I am trying to feel happy but It is so hard. I pray the 2nd tri is much easier.

  9. It’s my first baby and don’t get me wrong I am super excited and already in love with my little boy (yes I know the gender) I’m getting close to 34 weeks and I am so ready for him to come out. I feel like I can’t so much. I am 22 so most of my friends are in to the parties and such. I actually feel so envious sometimes…I wish that could be me… even my husband goes out often I just feel like a stick in the mud.. I am just ready to receive this baby.

    Ps. Doesn’t help when he doesn’t stop moving (very active ). I am tired and hungry more than ever! I can’t even go for long walks or anything anymore… I feel like a boring person …

    I feel so guilty, I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way especially because I’ve come so far …but I’m just ready..any advice?

  10. I went through a miscarriage, and got pregnant within a week or two of miscarrying. This pregnancy is rough. I went to the hospital on July 19th 2016 with bad cramps and found out I was pregnant, and that I was under 6 weeks, and everything looked okay. Well, it’s August 7 and it’s hell. I’m throwing up everything I eat. I can barely take my prenatal vitamins.

  11. I’m 26 weeks and I absolutely hate being pregnant. I’m not looking forward to the birth, I feel absolutely disconnected from my body and this baby. I wanted this for so long, and now I cannot believe how silly I was.

  12. I am.23 weeks pregnant and.feel nothing towards my unborn child i feel so bad and not sure what to do all my friends and family and all so excited i smiled the first time i felt her move and i am conserned about her health but i just feel so bad when everyone else is so excited

    Advice please

  13. I m 22 weeks pregnant with twins, husband away. Feel like I won’t be able to handle it well. Tired mentally as well as physically. I am loosing confidence in myself. Sleepless nights. And now even I don’t connect to my babies. How can I overcome these feelings. Plz help.

  14. I am 21 weeks and so completely sick of being pregnant. I was looking forward to the second trimester but nope just keep getting worse. I am tired i have gd low iron antinatal depression I’m still sick and i feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life. I wish i could just fastforward the next 19 weeks and be over and done with this.

    1. Hello Sharon, I can sooo relate to that! I found out I was pregnant March 31st. Although me and my partner planned having a child one day it came totally unexpected and way too soon. Hating it with all my heart and wish I could take it all back. Feeling nauseous pretty much every day, I’m constipated, tired and short of breath even if not doing anything. I feel like crying all the time, that’s how much I hate it. My partner is super excited, so are my parents and sister. I do not have an idea how I’m gonna last the whole 9 months and stay sane. Feeling like I ruined my life. I am 40 and therefore I think I should keep the baby. My partner is the best guy I’ve ever met still I think I am making huge mistake. I used to be so active and energetic and loved my life. Now I feel like I am just wasting one day after another. Can’t find joy in anything. Keep sleeping so much and then angry at myself.

  15. Reading through all of these different pregnancy experiences from others is definitely making me feel a sense of relief, for I too am also feeling miserable so far throughout this whole pregnancy experience. While finally coming to the end of mu 1st trimester (13 weeks,) I am so far… do not have a positive “pregnancy story” to tell meanwhile, I hear other females practically brag about how easy-breezy theirs was for them. Perhaps I feel slightly envious?

    I work 36 hours a week and was a full-time student until literally today, because I posponed my enrollment due to feeling so ultimately low. And to make matters worse, my exit interview was terrible. The lady who I talked to must have NEVER experienced pregnancy at all, because she pretty callus and apathetic while speaking to me. She went as far as saying, “If you were just going to get pregnant then why did you ever even enroll at all?” — Oh geese, yeah… I am sorry, I guess that being a fortune teller should be attached to every female’s diplomas JUST IN CASE they get pregnant le attending school. We all see it coming a mile away…. How rude! Mood swings make it difficult to even sit back and listen to people patronize you and keep a cool head.

    All and all, I am terrified of childbirth, but totally grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. We cannot blame ourselves and let it detach us (as mothers) from the bigger picture.

    “My current situation is not my permanent destination” – I chant this to myself every day.

    I hope that this helps others.
    Your comments have definitely assisted me.
    Thanks ladies. ❤

  16. I am so grateful to have found this and the comments! I’ve been feeling odd because I already love my baby and love being their mom, but I hate being pregnant and I feel like I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick for 6 hours after I wake up. Then I get sick again after eating dinner. Thank you for the reassurance that I’m not a bad mom for feeling this way. The problem is that if I try to talk to anyone, they just say, “Well, you planned this pregnancy.” Super not helpful.

    1. Just because it’s a planned pregnancy doesn’t mean you can’t feel miserable. I totally get it. They have no idea what you’re going through. Just remember it’s temporary. I know that may not be reassuring. Not a lot feels reassuring during all the misery. Just know you’re not alone!

  17. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who is feeling miserable; absolutely miserable during this pregnancy. This is my third child, my bfs first. My other two are from a previous marriage when I was younger, about 9-11 years ago so this feels all new to me again. I know I was not this miserable though. I’m 22 weeks now after having 2 miscarriages in the past two years so it’s been a blessing to hang on to this pregnancy, yet I haven’t enjoyed any of it. I’ve had severe morning sickness for 4 months straight. Puking every day all day. Going in for IV treatments because I’ve been so sick. Had to get put on bedrest for placenta previa and bleeding which cleared up. But now I’m bleeding again. Been out of work for half my pregnancy due to all my problems. Freaked out and told them I was quitting if they couldn’t offer me first shift instead of third. Had to take a 5 dollar paycut to do it. I feel like I’m the only one suffering. Bf hasn’t been affected. I’m the only one this is affecting. And everything hurts. My back is killing me. My stomach is huge and I cannot breathe, I’m so uncomfortable. I still get nauseous. I can’t imagine another 4 months of this. I’m stressed out and depressed and not looking forward to the sleepless nights when the baby comes. I hate feeling this way. I know it will get better but that’s a really long ways away and doesn’t make me feel better now.

  18. I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I hate this . I love feeling my baby girl move and I’m extremely excited for her arrival but I’m jus so over being pregnant . My mood swings are ridiculous still even though I’m far along . I can’t sleep at night because I cannot comfortable anymore . I feel so ugly and unattractive rn . Work is becoming unbearable , working 8 hour shifts standing all day is far too much . Achy hips , achy back.. having to pee all the time . And ohh I get lightheaded so much I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen backwards . Shortness of breath . Sex isn’t even fun anymore . Like I cannot deal with this . I know I’ve made it this far , but I’m dreading going through this for another 7 weeks .

  19. I’m 7weeks pregnant and I really don’t feel good about anything 🙁 I feel so miserable and on top of that am already skinny and becoming more skinny day by day coz I’ve been puking all day and stopped eating though :/ even my bf don’t understand me..he says am neglecting my body etc..but I just can’t eat but nobody understands that ..feeling so awful 🙁 want to cry

    1. Are you feeling any better these days I hope? I am in my 26th week and am absolutely hating every minute of this pregnancy. I broke my kneecap last month too and am in a brace that keeps it straight. I thought I was doing ok the last week, starting to get around better and nesting and organizing all of my neglected piles around the house, until I pulled a ligament in my sacroiliac joint and am now on my couch in agony unable to sleep and missing more work. I can’t take care of my 3yo by myself and my husband works nights. I am at a new low point. Not sure how I will make it through to the end without losing my mind.

  20. I am 3 months pregnant and I absolutely hate being pregnant but I really need a baby!! The worst thing I am experiencing is excessive salivation. It is HORRIBLE!! I feel like staying home all day everyday and not working. I am always feeling tierd, fatigue, moody…….just uncomfortable!! I can’t wait untill 9months to go back to the normal me!! Please God let this time pass by quickly 🙁

  21. Im 8 weeks pregnant with my second child and finding this pregnancy so much harder im constantly feeling sick but not actually throwing up, constant back pain and very bloated i look like im 8 months. I love this baby already dont get me wrong took us 5 years to conceive and over the moon but this pregnancy is actually killing me dont feel like myself anymore too tired all the time working 40 hours a week with a 11 year old and my partner is the same just dont no how im going to be able to do another 7 months

    1. I hope you are surviving. Personally I am sick a lot and at home a lot rather then working when I should be at my job. But I can’t help it my body feels like it’s falling apart – sickness , tiredness, can’t eat much it’s so crazy… I’m 22 weeks now and should apparently be feeling better but I’m really just not and im struggling to keep it together after being I’ll my body breaks and I get chills and shudder. I am just praying that the new tablets the dr gave me help with all this and am giving myself a break because if I can’t forgive myself who will.

  22. I’m so glad I read this. I took a home test because I was feeling a little “off” and thought it would reassure me that I wasn’t pregnant. It was positive and since then I’ve just felt worse and worse. Husband and I thought we’d start trying soon but never really made a plan, just started being less and less careful. Now it’s done and I’m totally ambivalent about the whole thing and mostly just feel crampy and sad. And I want to wait until after my first appt to start letting people know but I also could use some support getting my head in this. It was helpful to read other’s stories. I’d love to hear how everyone is doing and if it ever got better.

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