When people attack you or say horrible things about you, remember – it’s always about their issues, not yours. It’s about the person they are, not you. It’s about how they feel about themselves, not you.
The way people act and react is to do with the stories and beliefs they tell themselves. They might be beliefs inherited from childhood or from misinterpreted thoughts that have been manufactured into beliefs.
Thoughts become feelings, feelings become emotions, emotions become actions – our stories. Even if that first thought was an assumption or misinterpretation, it can cause war with ourselves and others.
When you’re faced with judgement or criticism, visualise yourself being a mirror, with that person yelling those things not at you, but at the mirror… because it’s a reflection of the things they tell themselves. You may even start to feel sorry for this person, for feeling so badly about themselves.
This is because those who are very critical of others tend to have low self esteem issues. Sadly, we’re also seeing lots of personality disorders emerge too – almost everyone knows a narcissist these days.
This is why I am so passionate about how we raise our children, it shapes who we become, and it shapes our beliefs, often for life. But as adults, no matter what our upbringing, WE are responsible for our own growth. We cannot blame our childhood. It’s time to grow.
Everything anyone ever has to say is about their story – they can’t possibly know anyone else’s. There’s so much room for error and misinterpretation, and sadly, some people fill it with judgement and criticism.
To those who judge and criticise: consider, the very thing you are judging, can you see a way that you are guilty of exactly that? Or, does it reflect something you don’t like about yourself or something you have done? You can never fix yourself by breaking someone else.
To those who have been judged: only you can judge your own actions, but I encourage you to not even do that. Kindness and forgiveness towards yourself is key to happiness, love, confidence and self esteem. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow and are honest with you, but do so with love and respect. Move on from those who don’t. You’re worth it!