So Your Toddler Won’t Nap

Toddlers are so adorable, aren’t they?

When they’re asleep, that is.

A toddler who is refusing sleep, on the other hand, well, that’s a whole other kettle of crappy fish.

Toddlers are completely unpredictable. Well, apart from the fact that you can pretty much guarantee they will refuse sleep on the days you really really need them to nap.

Got work to do? There will be no napping.

Need to get ready for a social occasion? O-ho, no naps in sight.

Desperate for just a few minutes to yourself to clear your head and regain your sanity? Nada. No nap. Not a chance.

As a grown up with braincells, you know that if you can just figure out why something is happening, you can come up with a solution. The same must apply to nap-fighting toddlers, right?

Wrong. But, just for fun, here are 10 reasons why your toddler won’t nap:

Toddler Won’t Nap #1: Because What You’re Doing Looks Too Fun

Being a toddler sucks. It means you have to nap when other people are awake doing fun secret things.

Sure, those fun secret things might turn out to be eyebrow plucking, dish washing and online grocery shopping, but how is a toddler meant to know that?

If you asked a toddler to guess what adults do during naptime, they would probably say run around naked, play in a ball pool and eat chocolate.

And your toddler will sacrifice any nap to find out if you are actually doing all of her favourite activities while she’s busy sleeping.

Toddler Won’t Nap #2: Because Of All The Farting

How can you expect a toddler to nap when there is farting to be done?

Nope, instead of sleeping, your toddler is just going to fart a lot.

That’ll be fun for you because toddler trumps smell like rotten egg and you’ll be forced to lie there and breathe it in.

Oh and every fart will sound like it followed through so you’ll panic and check your toddler’s nappy again.

So much fun. For your toddler, not for you.

Toddler Won’t Nap #3: Because Of The Sandwich

Yeah, it was hours ago. And yeah, you didn’t think it seemed like such a big deal at the time.

But those vile, offensive, disappointing triangle sandwiches you gave her for lunch? They should have been rectangles.

You know they should have been rectangles. Sandwiches are rectangular, not triangular.

You really messed up there. And now you will pay.

Toddler Won’t Nap #4: Because She’s Lying On Your Face

Ah, gymnastics, it’s always fun. Even at naptime.

Why lie calmly and sensibly in your bed when you could be scaling the walls and jumping on your mama’s head?

Good luck trying to convince your strong-willed toddler that lying with her butt on your nose isn’t a great idea (see #2 for the potential dangers).

Toddler Won’t Nap #5: Because You Have Something Fun Planned For This Afternoon

Did you make the mistake of telling your toddler about the fun thing this afternoon?

The thing that will really only be fun if your toddler is well rested and in good spirits?

How foolish of you. Of course she can’t sleep through this excitement.

Now your special afternoon will be ruined by an overtired irrational tantrum-throwing monster aka your toddler.

Toddler Won’t Nap #6: Because She Walked Past Some Sugar Earlier

If your toddler has so much as breathed in a grain of sugar during the day, there will be no nap.

A single grain of sugar can power your toddler for approximately eight hours.

Your toddler will look completely wired with wild eyes and way too much energy.

Have fun with that…

Toddler Won’t Nap #7: Because You Want Her To

Oh, she’s not an idiot.

She can smell your desperation in much the same way dogs can smell fear.

She can see your pleading eyes willing her to sleep.

And, in true toddler fashion, she will now do everything in her power to stay awake and drive you crazy.

Toddler Won’t Nap #8: Because She Doesn’t Have Her Favourite Teddy

If your toddler doesn’t have Misty, her favourite teddy bear, gripped tightly in her hands, how can you possibly expect her to sleep? What is sleep without Misty?

What is the point of napping if you can’t share those 40 precious winks with your most treasured cuddly toy?

Alas. And no prizes for guessing where Misty is.

Your toddler shoved her in the toilet when you weren’t looking.

Toddler 1 – Nap time 0.