7 Things Home Birthing Mamas Are Tired Of Hearing

7 Things Home Birthing Mamas Are Tired Of Hearing

There are lots of reasons why couples choose to welcome their babies into the world in the comfort of their own home.

Giving birth at home allows you to control your birthing environment. You get to give birth in a place you already feel comfortable. You don’t have to worry about the bright lights of loud noises of the delivery ward.

When the birth is over, you can snuggle up in your own bed and get to know the newest member of the family. For some expectant parents, that sounds like the perfect way to give birth.

7 Things Home Birthing Mamas Are Tired Of Hearing

The only downside to having your baby at home is that you will have to endure months of opinions about it from friends and family members.

Some will support you and share your excitement, others won’t.

And, of course, the ones who don’t will talk the loudest and the longest. Here are seven things all home birthing mamas are tired of hearing:

#1: Wow, You’re Brave

Talk about a backhanded compliment. This sounds like it’s a nod to the mother’s braveness and strength but it is in fact simply another way of saying ‘OMG danger alert’.

Having a baby at home isn't brave. Hell, the risk of intervention is so much higher in a hospital setting it could be argued you’re braver to give birth there.

#2: What About The Mess?

This is rarely asked in a genuinely curious way but in an incredulous holler from a scrunched up mouth. Birth is just as messy in hospital as it is at home and you’re going to get covered in birth fluids whether you like it or not.

Ok, giving birth in a hospital will keep your carpet clean but so will an old shower curtain and some towels. Birth isn’t that messy, it’s nothing that can’t easily be cleaned up in a few minutes. And anyway, since you’ll just have pushed a human into the world, you won’t be the one tidying up.

#3: What If Something Goes Wrong?

I’m going on holiday. What if your plane crashes?

I’m starting a course in September. I hope you don’t die before then.

I’m getting married next fall. What if he cheats on you before then?

If you said any of these things, you’d have no friends and everyone would think you were a douchebag. So why is it ok to be negative about birth? Yes, sometimes birth is complicated but a lot of the time it isn’t.

If something goes wrong, which it probably won’t, your professional trained and experienced midwife will know what to do. That’s what they’re there for.

#4: My Husband Would Never Let Me Have A Home Birth

Ah, men… apparently in charge of choosing where and how women birth. If only women could have a say in such decisions…

Of course there are men who would feel uncomfortable about the idea of home births. The kind of men who don’t read the studies detailing how safe home birth is. But, hopefully, your partner isn’t one of those men and will be supportive of your desire to birth at home. Or get him to read

If he is nervous, have a read of When Your Partner Says No To Homebirth and arrange a chat with your midwife so she can tell him what to expect and reassure him that it’s a safe option.

#5: My Mum’s Cousin’s Friend’s Hairdresser’s Dog Walker Gave Birth At Home And Her Baby Came Out Bright Green And Covered In Spots

People just love to share those horror stories, don’t they? As soon as they hear you’re considering a home birth, they want to tell you every negative home birth story they’ve ever heard.

Interestingly, they don’t do that if you say you’re giving birth at a hospital. They simply nod and smile, they don’t reel off a list of people they know who have needed intervention at that hospital.

#6: I’d Be Dead If I’d Had One Of Those

Nah, you probably wouldn’t. The trained midwife at the birth would have noticed things were going awry and took you to a hospital for whatever treatment it was you needed.

Just because you want a home birth, doesn’t mean that’s where you have to give birth no matter what. ‘This mother needs a c-section, it’s such a shame she chose a home birth because now there is nothing I can do to help her’ said no midwife ever.

If there’s a serious problem, you are rushed to hospital. It’s as simple as that. So, no, you wouldn’t be dead, you’d just have ended up with a hospital birth.

#7: Will They Still Let You Have One?

Nothing makes people more nervous than a pregnant woman past her due date. You can see the fear in the eyes of strangers when you tell them you’re overdue as though you might be about to cover them in fluid as your waters break.

As soon as you go over your estimated due date (yep, estimated), people think that all decisions about your body should be made by medical professionals. Suddenly, it’s whether they’ll ‘let you’ have one or how far past your due date they’ll ‘let you’ go. Remember, it’s your body, your baby, your choice.

If somebody is negative about your birth choices, you may find it helpful to avoid the topic with them altogether for the duration of your pregnancy. This is your decision to make and as long as you’re happy with it, you shouldn’t have to worry about what anybody else is thinking.

What comments did you get tired of hearing?

Recommended Reading:

9 Reasons Why Women Choose To Birth At Home

5 Key Things Homebirth Mamas Have In Common

 

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Fiona Peacock CONTRIBUTOR

Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.


6 comments

  1. Yep, I recognise all of these.. It got to the stage where I’d reel off all the dangers of hospital birth, such as the high risk of intervention.
    There were also the drugs brigade, who would say “what if you need an epidural??! I gave birth with all the drugs they had on offer!”

    Now after I tell people I had my daughter at home I get asked “what, on purpose?!” …..

    ……. The answer is always yes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way

  2. . This was awesome! Kudos to the author for an absolutely hilarious perspective. Had our first at home. #2 will arrive there too, soon.

  3. I’m an RN and I decided to have a homebirth with my first. A lot of people said “How could you? You’re a nurse! You know better!” Exactly. I know better than to have my baby in the superbug infested, intervention ridden hospital witj not so great HCAPS scores for their OB department. No thanks.

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