For some women, choosing the right birth partner or support people for your birth is simple. It might be the father of the child, a family member – such as your sister or mother – or perhaps a close friend. It’s essential, however, to think carefully about whom you will trust with this very important role, as the people you choose might not be able to support you in the way you had first hoped.

What is the meaning of birth support?

To have a labour or birth support person means to have someone who will be with you during the birthing process, who will provide one to one continuous support (both physical support and emotional support) and who can act as an advocate for you and your birth preferences.

The role of birth support people is to help you feel comfortable and supported during childbirth. They also have a role in supporting partners, to make sure they also feel involved and included in the birth experience.

Your support team is usually made up of people other than your midwife or doctor or those providing medical care. Your care providers can also provide additional physical and emotional support, of course.

It’s important that everyone present when you give birth is ‘on the same page’ in terms of your needs and wishes, and is able to provide the right support for you during your childbirth.

The history of birth support people

Historically, women have always attended other women during childbirth. This might have been in a care provider or support person role we might refer to these days as a doula. These wise women would have been well respected in the community, usually from an older generation of women who’d had children of their own. They would come to the house to support the birthing woman as she gave birth at home.

To learn more, read our article Childbirth Across The Last Century.

Over the years, with the advent of hospitals, modern medicine and the growth of the obstetrics profession, women lost the support of these wise women and the knowledge and expertise they brought with them. More and more births took place in hospitals and women were often attended by male doctors.

If you’re not sure of the difference between the role of a doula and the role of a midwife, read our article Doula vs Midwife – What’s The Difference?

What is the importance of birth support people?

These days, we have both male and female obstetricians; the majority of midwives are female. The birth support person, however, still has a key role in the birth process. Giving birth to your baby can be an emotional, overwhelming and sometimes scary process and support from others might help you to have a more enjoyable and positive birth experience.

Most people choose to give birth in hospitals, where medical teams and equipment are easily accessible should they be needed; however, the problem is that these hospital environments aren’t always conducive to supporting normal physiological birth.

The bright lights, the busy environment, the number of staff, as well as unfamiliar smells, noises and spaces, can make it challenging for women to feel relaxed and emotionally secure enough to give birth with the high levels of positive birthing hormones they need.

The people you choose as your support team for your birth will be there to provide continuous support for you as you navigate your labour. It’s important to remember that even though your doctor, midwife and nurse can provide you with support, their main focus will be on your medical care during this time. This means they might not always be in the room and they might be involved in tasks that take them away from your bedside for short periods of time.

Your birth partner or support person, however, will be there to make sure you have all the support you need – even if your care provider is out of the room.

What are the benefits of having support people for your birth?

Much research has been done into the supporting role of doulas in childbirth outcomes for women and their babies and the results are quite remarkable. A doula is a trained professional birth support person whose sole role is to support the birthing mother, her partner and the family as a whole.

They don’t perform clinical tasks, such as examinations or diagnosis of conditions but their role includes offering both emotional and physical support, providing information and acting as an advocate for the parents.

Research confirms the presence of a doula has significant positive benefits for the woman including:

A more positive birth experience
Shorter labour
Increased rates of vaginal birth
Decreased rates of assisted births (forceps, vacuum/ventouse and c-section birth)
Reduced need for pain relief, such as epidurals
Fewer medical interventions
Babies being less likely to be born with a low Apgar score.

In one study, doula-assisted mothers were:

4x less likely to have a low birth weight baby
2x less likely to experience a birth complication involving the mother or the baby
Significantly more likely to initiate breastfeeding.

There is also some evidence to suggest that having a doula can even reduce the rates of postpartum depression (PND).

Related reading: Do PND Drugs Really Work? | Postnatal Depression.

Who should I have with me when I give birth?

You might choose to hire a a doula as a professional birth support but the good news is that an active support person can be anyone you choose. You can still experience many of the benefits by choosing the right person (or people) to be there to provide you with good support, without needing to hire a professional.

Having her partner or the baby’s father present is most often a woman’s first choice. Most women would consider them to be essential birth support people. It’s important that women discuss this role with them beforehand, to make sure they’re comfortable with what they need to do.

The last thing you want in labour is having to focus your energy on yourself and also making sure your partner is okay and coping well; it just won’t work and will create a stressful situation for you both.

Your partner might feel he needs back-up or support for himself, so it’s a good idea to discuss what might be useful to help him support you best. If your partner is not comfortable as a birth support person, then you should consider additional support people.

Even if your partner is comfortable in the role, an additional support person can offer many benefits, including an extra pair of hands, fresh energy and someone who will always be able to be in the room with you should the other person need to leave, which happens frequently – for example:

For toilet breaks
For meal breaks
To get the midwife or doctor
If feeling squeamish or stressed
Because of tiredness
To heat up heat packs or bring cool face cloths
To make important phone calls
To move the car
To stretch and recoup some energy.

If you have support people who are tired, hungry and anxious, they won’t be able to support you effectively, especially in a longer labour.

Having a ‘tag team’ arrangement is ideal and, even though we might have the romantic ideal of a couple, on their own, breezing through labour, having two support people providing continuity of care can mean you have a more relaxed and refreshed partner, who will hold your hand while someone else does the running around and you can be together, as needed.

Why do I need to think carefully about who will be present?

Think about the kind of birth you want. If you are aiming for a physiological, natural birth, then you’ll need someone who will stay calm and strong, who will encourage you (as opposed to pouring sympathy on you) and who will stand firm for you through your moments of vulnerability.

Have someone who’ll know what to say – ideally someone who has already been where you want to be, because she knows what it takes to get there. For example, when you are in transition, will your support people know what’s happening and be able to identify that? Will they know what to do and how to deal with it? Will they know what to say to you? Will they encourage you to accept pain relief because they feel helpless or because this is what will help you?

Related reading: 7 Benefits Of Natural Birth For Mothers.

If you’re planning to have a natural birth, you need someone to give you reassurance and positivity, to keep you going through the rough patches. This can be a pretty tough job and hard work to keep up – especially throughout this intense experience.

If you go to the operating theatre, will your support person faint at the sight of blood or think it’s all too gory? How do your support people feel about your choices? Are they supportive of your decisions? Will they respect your wishes if you to want to be first to hold the baby after you have had the caesarean or will they get to hold and be with the baby before you are able to, possibly creating resentment later?

For more information on selecting your birth team read our article Choosing Great Birth Support People | 5 Helpful Tips.

What can you do to help the support people for your birth?

Here are a few ways you can help your support people better support you:

It’s very helpful if the family members or friends who’ll be supporting you can attend birth classes or appointments with you

Talk to them about your birth plan and give them a copy. Even if you written a birth plan, it’s important for your birth partner to know your preferences for giving birth so he can effectively support you at the time
Hire a professional birth attendant or doula.

The first questions couples often ask me are:

a) Will an attendant take the support role away from the father?

Answer: A professional birth attendant or doula does not take away ownership of the birth or any roles anyone else has to offer, but instead complements the team. She provides support for the father or other support people present in the room as well as for the mother.

b) How will I feel about a stranger being with me?

Answer: A professional birth attendant will visit you antenatally to get to know you and your partner, so you won’t be with a stranger on the day. Really, when you think about it, you’ll probably get to know your birth attendant better than any others in your birth team. The midwives at the hospital will probably be unknown to you and your obstetrician will only usually spend 5-10 minutes with you, per visit, and then only be present when the actual birth is happening (if they make it) or if there’s a complication.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone there who you’ve met and got to know personally, and to know she has a strong desire to be by your side for the entire birth, helping you to birth the way you intend?

c) Will an attendant try to push her views onto me or not support my choices?

Answer: A professional birth attendant already knows it’s her job to support you and your choices, not hers. Your attendant will have her own views about birth but her job is to provide you with fact-based information to empower you for the birth you want. Birth attendants support all kinds of births – from water birth and caesareans to lotus birth – so you can be sure she’ll have no problems supporting your choices.

If you’re interested in seeking the services of a Birth Attendant, you can contact BellyBelly Birth Support who can answer any of your questions and help you choose a birth attendant.

I’d like a doula/birth attendant but I can’t afford one

The vast majority of trainee doulas provide free services; some might charge a small fee to cover fuel or other basic costs. If you would like to have a trainee doula, you can post in the BellyBelly forums in the ‘Looking for a trainee doula’ section or you can email us your details and we can try to help.