Do most partners get up at night to help?

[Sammiejane]

DH doesnt get up....

Well at the start he did and i told him that there was NO point in him doing so.
He works and so has to be on the ball in the morning, where as i dont have to.
I also exclusively BF, so i dont really see the point cos 9 times out of 10 he would need to wake me to feed her, so really there is no point in it.
Sure it would be nice if he insisted that he would change the nappys or that i express so he can do a feed at night, but its not going to happen, and i would be awake anyway he doesnt know how to be quiet!

However as a compromise, sometimes i will put in ear plugs in at about 4 am and he will get up if she need anything or will play with her so i can have a bit of a sleep in. I still have to get up and feed her, but having the ear plugs means that i can have a deeper sleep without having to listen out. We ususally do this for one day in the weekend

If she wakes up when we are still up, i often have to ask him to get up as he just assumes that i will do it. It is not that he doesnt want to, he just doesnt have his brain switched on the same way that i do.
Sometimes its annoying, but usually if i just let him know calmly it works.

Being a new Mum can be sooo tiring and until you are actually doing it all, i dont think anyone can understand. I dont think that being female makes it any easier to comprehend iykwim, actually being the full time parent is the only way that you realise.

You need to sit down, explain how you are feeling and also see if you can come to some sort of
compromise or ask for some help

If it makes any difference, Jaz will run to you when she skins her knees and look for you for the comfort, I dont want to be loved more, but when MJ just wants a cuddle from me, i realise all those times getting up in the night are worth it

I hope this helps a litlle

ETA : Parenting IS for BOTH parents... However you need to work out what is done by whom, DH works so that i can stay at home and look after Molly Jane, if i was back at work i would definatly expect more from him, but his role is to bring in the money so that i can continue to enjoy being a SAHM, my job is full time, but so is his as he is on call a lot as its his own business.
Maybe Shell sees the fact that she is working as her contribution... DH does help out when he can and sometimes he will send me off to the shops (as in clothes shops) on Saturday mornings (with $$) so i can have a break, this works for us and i am happy with it for the most part.