Leash, I'm another one who is probably guilty of 'Shel-bashing' - sorry if that is how you feel.
And the Bear usually doesn't get up in the night, but so far our DD has only been waking up once at night and usually falls asleep within half an hour of finishing her feed (touch wood she keeps doing it!) so I haven't had too much trouble coping with the night shift. But the other night I did ask him to do the night shift cause I was getting ratty due to having broken sleep every night. He agreed (after a little coaxing) and DD (daddy's girl that she is LOL) did her trick of sleeping from 11 to 5 am so it wasn't a big deal in the end. But he does heaps of other things - like cooking dinner 99.9% of the time, taking DD for long walks, looking after her for a whole day so I can get my hair done, sending me to the shops on my own while he looks after her, doing nappies, baths, settling, getting up at 6 and entertaining her for as long as he can so I can sleep longer, and tag-teaming with me when she is being impossible. We were doing that yesterday and I was the one saying "she doesn't love mummy" because he was better settling her than I was! But the point is we worked as a team. It's just about getting the help and support you need and working together as a team. I hope you can talk to Shel and work out a way that it works better for you. I think your Baby Buddies are just concerned that you aren't getting the support that you need and deserve. You are doing a great job but you shouldn't have to do it alone. Big hugs