DH didn't read much, but was very happy to listen when I explained why I didn't want intervention, epidurals, etc. He was very supportive before hand. We did midwifery group pracitce with DD, and he attended all of my appointments, and so had taken part in many conversations with our lovely mw about my birth intentions, so I felt confident that we were all on the same page.

When it came to it, I wouldn't have got through it without DH - apparently, I didn't let him get so far as the toilet once we were in hospital. DH was advocating me to stay at home longer, it was me that wanted to get into hospital asap once the contractions really got going.

DD was persistent posterior, and so the birth was long and difficult, with a 2.5 hour pushing stage. At no point did DH or the MW offer me any pain relief, other than the gas (which the mw didn't actually turn on I found out later - she just made me use it to control my breathing!), and when I asked the MW if she coul just pull the baby out, she calmly told me that by the time we had transferred to L&D from the birth centre, gound a doctor and got set up for forceps, I would have given birth anyway. Maybe if I had gone a different mode of care, and so got any random mw on shift at the time, things might have been different, and DH might have acted differently. So maybe, thats where some women might need a doula or an IM.

This time around, I've borrowed Juju Sudin's book, and while I know DH won't read it all, he has said that he will read the parts with actual strategies if I tag them for him.