I feel ok about my c-section which really surprises me actually. Throughout the pregnancy I was really focused on a natural drug-free birth and I was so so scared of having to have a c-section. But I think the reason I'm ok with it is because of my labour. I really feel like I did everything I possibly could and a c-section was the only answer. I was in labour for 33 hrs. Went to hospital 10pm on a friday night and she wasn't born until 2.30 Sunday morning. So they let me do my own thing. I had my active labour. Didn't ask for the gas until about mid-day Saturday when I was getting pretty exhausted. Then when I wasn't progressing still by Sat night despite having strong contractions 2 mins apart pretty much the whole time and they decided to give me the drip to see if it would help and I decided on an epidural because I was totally exhausted and petrified of the thought of contractions getting even stronger. And I didn't want to try the pethidine bc I knew it didn't do much and I didn't want it getting through to the baby. After waiting even longer for the drip to work and having 2 epidurals inserted bc the first didn't work, bub still wasn't moving down into my pelvis enough and the had to get the Dr to come check me out. He was so nice and I think this played a big part in how I feel now. He really wanted me to have a natural birth and said he would usually try and use a vaccum in any situation but honestly thought it was too dangerous bc bub was in the perfect position for birth but the fact that she wasn't moving down and there was still a tiny bit of cervix left meant there could be a reason she couldn't get out and it's possible she was just a bit big. I am only little and she was 8lb 10oz and also my mum had the same problem when giving birth and had 4 caesarians. I cried when he told me he thought a caesar was the way to go bc it's not how I imagined it would be. But the way everything happened and the reasons for it helped me to feel ok about it because I believe I couldn't have done any more than I did. He also took time to explain to me that it wasn't anything I'd done and that it didn't mean I couldn't have a normal birth in the future.
Afterwards Grace was bought straight over to me and DH held her close to me while they finished up. Then when they were finished she was put straight on my chest for skin to skin and breastfed straight away. I imagine this helped a lot too.

Well, that turned out longer than expected.