I have been reading all your posts - Pukeko you are very strong. I hope that I too will soon feel the ability to "move on" like you have.

By reading the posts of people like becc, michelle, tootie, kirsty, angel, sarah, zola, meg and redmoon, and all the others reading, I know that we are not alone. I find Tuesdays that hardest, as that is the day that my weeks were counted from!

I discovered at my 12 week scan that I had m/s at around 8 weeks. It is 4 weeks yesterday that I had my D&C. I still feel very emotional. I am afraid of having the worst PMS ever soon!!! Does anyone have any advice with regards this?

I have my first OB appointment following my D&C on Monday. It hadn't occurred to me that I may find out if I had a boy or girl. Someone asked me the other day if I knew which, and I said no. Am I likely to be told on Monday? (Some of you other fab girls may be able to help - my OB is Ian Hill in Sydney?). I assumed I would not know. I am not sure how I will take this news.

I also agree that the terminology used is awful. I think the worst is using the word "missed abortion" - it makes me prefer “non-viable pregnancy”!!!!

At the moment am terrified of everything! DH and I were conscious of costs etc of having a child in Sydney with no family for support, and when we found out we were pregnant (like you, we fell pregnant after only 2 months of trying, and as I am 36 thought it would take longer!) had the attitude of “oh well, we’ll make it work”. Now I have people telling me not to worry, it will all work itself out – but I now feel like I have more of a choice - I need to fill out forms for waiting list now that I am not pregnant! So although I sooooo want a family, I am even more scared now that I know about child care waiting lists/cost etc.

I visited my nieces in Brisbane – one is just 14 weeks now – and immersed myself in work for the last couple of weeks (we had a major new business proposal - so worked weekends, until midnight a few nights etc.). But as things calmed down at work - about 4 days ago – my feelings of being able to cope have declined. I actually became very upset (over finances, babies, what I am doing with my life - so combining lots of issues together) whilst with some colleagues on a business trip to Melbourne and felt very embarrassed - mind you it was 2am after a few too many.

I am beginning to feel that I tried to tell myself I was all ok too quickly - so it is now coming back at me. Has anyone had a similar experience - how long should I still feel sad, angry and confused? Did anyone get any counseling? I am not sure where to go or what to do. DH is being very good, telling us we are very strong – but I am not that sure as to how strong I really am.

I last visited this site about three weeks ago – you are all so comforting and re-assuring – I wish I had made time to visit more regularly over the past few weeks – may have made it all a bit easier!

Hopefully I will feel a bit more complete after visiting the doctor on Monday. So any advice you have…gratefully accepted.

Take care, wishing you all lots of love, strength and babies! You are fabulous people and I cannot think of a nicer group of people to share my feelings with.